Douchebags were making headlines throughout 2007.
Given that it’s the holiday season, I originally thought it would be nice to spread some positive vibes and title this article “The Top Ten Most Important People of 2008,” but that would have been boring, right?…
Article comments
— go to most recent comments26 - El Bicho
"I had no need to submit myself to dig"
Then why create the fake name John Rafelson to digg yourself if there was no need?
No doubt you got a stellar job because there's a huge demand for people who don't know how to spell the word "site" or who can count. I don't write or submit more articles than anyone on this site. The very prolific Chris Beaumont usually earns that title. I only squeaked by him last month with some help.
My hard work has paid off. I get paid for some of my reviews and assignments, all of which don't appear here. I just see no need to brag to a loser or liar like you.
What exactly are you wasting your money on if you can only rent a one-bedroom in Hoboken?
by the way, I am not Mexican. Your ignorance knows no limits.
27 - El Bicho
From the Comment Policy: "it is grounds for immediate banning to comment under someone else's name."
See you later, Daryl. You will not be missed.
28 - STM
El Bicho:
Interesting piece of history: Did you know that the Germans tried to make an alliance with the Mexicans and a couple of other countries in the western hemisphere in 1917 before the US entered the Great War, that would have involved them attacking the US if it declared war on Germany, so the US was fighting on two fronts before it had time to build up its small army?
Mexico would have got Texas, much of California and Arizona out of the deal. I suppose New Mexico too, although I don't know my US history that well and thought then it was a territory rather than a state.
Needless to say, the Mexicans thought the whole thing preposterous. I think their attitude was: you got it fair and square, it's all over, let's move on and don't try to involve us in this madness.
That's where you are, mate, isn't it in regard to stolen lands? I mean, the Spanish stole the land in the first place, didn't they, so what's the prob down there with all this stuff.
29 - STM
And Daryl, nice choices for the US. I could think of a few more from outside the borders.
30 - Dave Nalle
Daryl, you should have posted this to politics. You'd have gotten a lot more love.
Dave
31 - Dave Nalle
Oh, and where the hell did you get that picture of Hillary? Is it real or doctored?
Dave
32 - daryl d
[Edited]
Dave: the picture of Hilary I got by doing a google search. I believe it is doctored but hilariously so. If you give me your email address (see mine in my biography), I'll send you the full picture.
About posting it in the politics section and getting more love: Dave, it doesn't matter. My understanding is that personal insults are not allowed at this site. But what really gets me is that the personal insults are coming from OTHER Blogcritic authors. I know I gave into their game by posting more personal insults, but it shouldn't be allowed. It's okay to criticize an article but when someone makes a personal insult, you know it must have meant something to them because they let their emotions get all free.
33 - Chris Beaumont
The best part of this thread is the strong of comments that look this:
[edited]
Oh yeah, and the mention of me, of course.
34 - Al Barger
Daryl D, this list is BULLSHIT. I should be right on the top of this list. I'm far more disreputable than Dennis Miller or Larry Craig, or our very nice president.
I demand a recount, ya slimy bastard! Quit conspiring to not promote ME, Al Barger.
Ms Harper, puh-lease. What the hell's wrong with you anyway, tormenting poor Daryl D while I'm running around loose doing God knows what. You should definitely be spending your blogcritic-beating time on ME, Al Barger.
Indeed, I think that all kinds of folks should be able to find common ground in opposing me, Al Barger. Democrats and Republicans, heteros and John Edwards, music lovers and Bruce Springsteen fans, patriots and Dixie Chicks, evolved humans and knuckle-dragging evangelical Huckabee supporters alike should all be able to agree that Al Barger is a right bastard unfit for any civil society.
Only then can Daryl D, El Bicho and the whole human race put aside their petty differences of religion, nationality and alternative sexual preferences to unite in the more important common cause of hating ME, Al Barger.
See, the way I bring people together and foment peace between them makes me not unlike Jesus of Nazareth.
35 - daryl d
Ms. Harper:
I responded to your comments in my essay "The Top Ten Douche bags" of 2007 rather harshly. Well, first, your comments were harsh towards me. Then, two wrongs don't make a right do they?
Now, I read an essay about your top albums of 2007, in which you indicated what you have gone through this year. I understand what you have gone through this year and why you reacted so negatively to my article, especially because I joked about Dennis Miller taking his own life.
Ms. Harper, I invite you to read this article I wrote about suicide some months back. It may put a smile on your face or at least make you think.
In any case, please disregard my comments. You can say anything nasty about me that you want but I will still pray for you no matter what.
36 - Marianne Collins
Personal attacks are "not allowed" ?? Isn't your entire list filled with personal attacks?? No matter, I liked it !! The only change I would suggest is putting Hillary in the #1 slot.
37 - Dr Dreadful
Personal attacks are "not allowed" ?? Isn't your entire list filled with personal attacks??
The comments policy refers to attacks on one's fellow commenters. Folks in the public eye, like the ten on Daryl's list, are fair game.
38 - forestpal
My, my. Douchebags and negativity. I wonder why it was "boring" to mention people who did well in the past year. I think many positive and hard-working people represented humanity well.
Let's take a look at just a few, and see if they are boring, or more boring than, say, Britney Spears, of whom I've had enough.
Angelina Jolie (won't travel with a film crew because she does not seek to publicize her charitable work), named by Reuters as Humanitarian of the year.
Barack Obama made the Democratic race interesting.
Brad Pitt coughed up 5 million of his own money and many, many months of his own labor to help rebuild New Orleans. That's pretty good and he's cute.
Al Gore did win a Nobel Peace Prize for his work in TRYING to save this planet. If he doesn't succeed, at least he's done more than I have.
Johnny Depp, for having the guts to sing the difficult score of Sweeney Todd.
Two of New Hampshire's major newspapers carried editorials saying that Mitt Romney should be stopped. Good for a laugh, at least.
The Texas Longhorns and Colt McCoy for good-naturedly providing a lot of entertainment.
The writers, bless them, who struck against the networks and the studios for hogging all the money for the product they make.
New England -- the patriots might go 16-0, which would be fun.
Tiger Woods, for playing such fun golf. He's awesome to watch.
Derek Jeter for NOT doing steroids and still playing a great game at shortstop for the Yankees.
He was a rare bright light in an otherwise gloomy national pastime.
I could go on, but I think you get my drift.
It's not so difficult to be positive if you just try a little.
By the way, my eighth published novel is coming out in the spring, and that makes me nervous because you're only as good as your next book. The past seven never reassure me that I'm any good or that I will matter ultimately. So I try hard and work long hours and I never think I'm hot stuff. A little humility makes me look at my writing with a critical eye, and I can leave the self-satisfaction to people who actually earn a billion dollars (J. K. Rowling), which reminds me that HARRY POTTER brought a love of reading to a great many kids this year and in years past. Nice. Let's stop fighting. Enough of that is going on in Iraq. Why have it here? By the way, I don't know what to do about illegal immigrants, but I have started learning Spanish, just to improve my mind.
SMILE. It won't break your face.
39 - cnawaz
El Bicho the Mexicans were not here first, the Native Americans were and it's people like you that give immigrants a bad name!!!!! My husband came here LEGALLY like ALL imamigrants should and is very sucessful here!!!!! And no, I don't hate Mexicans, but they should not be allowed to just come here illegally and expect the same rights as us citizens!!!!!!!! You expect us to hand you money on a silver platter?!?! Work like the rest of us!!!! If we give the land back to ANYONE we should give it back to Native Americans!!!!!!!! Go back to Mexico and try to make your country better so all of you won't keep coming here illegally!!!!!!!! I don't know of any other people from any other countries that come here illegally. They fight to become working citizens like the rest of us and don't expect people to hand them everything just because their country sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
40 - cnawaz
and kudos to STM for telling EL Bicho like it is!!!! OK so supposedly you aren't MEXICAN, but then why would you say that the Mexicans are going to get the land back?!?! and La Rasa also?!?! Maybe you're just trying to get people to feel sorry for you!!!!!!!!!!! Obviously, you missed your history classes as STM pointed out!!!!!! Or you're a Mexican wannabe!!!!!! Like I said, I do not hate Mexicans, the ones that come here LEGALLY!!!!! I hate no one!!!!!
41 - Matthew T. Sussman
"OK so supposedly you aren't MEXICAN, but then why would you say that the Mexicans are going to get the land back?!?! and La Rasa also?!?!"
Because some chucklehead posted a comment under his name, which is why it's since been deleted.
42 - A.L. Harper
Thank you Daryl for pointing me to your article. It was very moving. I would like to say that my own failed attempt was spurred by severe mood swings, caused by an infection I didn't know I had. It was after that, when I went to the doctor to finally seek help that they found it. After a month on antibiotics I felt much better. Now I can't even begin to think what was going on in my head.
43 - mytwocents
Daryl,
Al Gore should have been #1, everyone else - pure gold!
44 - brownin329
The end of 2007 has brought some creative columns but Daryl yours is by far the most hilarious! Especially the line "Oprah has the distinction of being the most annoying white woman on the planet." that cracked me up! Though I love Oprah, I must acknowledge this point. Happy new year!
45 - daryl d
Thanks, brownin329. Creativity is my number one strength. I'm glad that you didn't take this article too literally like some people. It's all fun!
46 - enjoy
"Apparently, Mr. O’Reilly wasn’t content with referring to Mexicans as “wetbacks” a few years back."
This is a left-wing smear. It did not happen. Look it up.
47 - Al Barger
I would nominate our own Suss to this naughty list. Not to put too fine a point on it, but simply stated, Matt Sussman is a dirty, low-down, no-count...REPUBLICAN.
There, I said it. It needed to be said. I hope this does not too grievously offend the comment monitor gods.
48 - Will
I approve mostly of the list, although I wouldn't put GWB as number one. I'm thinking 5 or something.
49 - Arch Conservative
You forgot Keith Olberman and Rosie Odonnel.
50 - Gemma
Mostly this was really funny, but your reasons for hating Hilary are stupid. In what world is giving licenses to immigrants similar to supporting Al-Qaeda? Also, immigrants are not the only ones committing violent crimes and stealing identities...
51 - daryl d
I mentioned Al-Qaeda becase thee of the hijackers of the 911 planes were here illegally. I think they stayed way past their visa date. Two of them received aviation licenses as well two months after the fact. It shows how screwed up the system in our country is. And once again....my beef is with ILLEGAL immigrants, not immigrants. Two different categories but supporters of criminal ILLEGAL immigrants would like you to believe there is no difference.
52 - Greg Reid
Should have added ties or extended your list another way. More emphasis should be placed on the Bush league of Roberto Gonzalez, Dick and his Scooter, and the surprisingly still on staff Ann Myers. Democrats should get more of a pass this year because next year they may be landslide winners by somehow figuring out how to lose the race for the next presidency. Ann Coulter, The View (for dumbing things down even further with Sheri what's her face), Imus and the people that pay Imus millions, Paris, Lindsey, and baby sis for not keeping up with Britney, as well as the news media. Baseball and pseudo intellectuals like George Will that are more pseudo than intellectual (see Dennis Miller). And unfortunately America, for having such people having a large role in our society.
53 - Michael61
Perfect, especially bush as #1.
54 - Dr Dreadful
My top ten douche bags of 2007:
10. Wal-Mart Equate Douche Bag (size regular)
9. SC Johnson Sensitive Skin Douche Bag
8. Pfizer Prescription-Only Douche Sachet
7. MXC Guy La Douche Monogrammed Bag
6. Trojan One-Touch Application Douche...
[For numbers 5 through 1, please send a stamped, self-addressed brown envelope to Daryl D, c/o Blogcritics, 1111 Douchebag Ln, Gotham, NZ 98765.]
55 - Glen Boyd
tick...tick...tick...
56 - daryl d
I did NOT mean my recent comments against Blogcritics.org. I meant it at ONE particular person who has control of some things. I am COMPLETELY THANKFUL to Blogcritics.
First of all, if it wasn't for Blogcritics, I wouldn't have the job that I have right now. I wouldn't have the beautiful apartment overlooking NYC right now. Although I haven't been paid for any of my articles here (and I don't expect to), it's probably me that owes Blogcritics.org more than I owe them.
Furthermore, through Blogcritics, I have met some people whom I wouldn't have had the chance to meet otherwise. These people have helped me grow as a writer and most importantly, a person.
There are douche bags here but they are not the majority.
Anyway, I had to get that off my chest. I realize that comments from a certain deadbeat dad have been deleted recently. Those comments accused me of crossing the line by basically "biting the hand that feeds me." Trust me, that wasn't my intention. I had to get that off my chest, thanks!
57 - El Kabong
Nicely done...but putting dubya at #1 was kinda a cheap shot. Pretty predictable. I would never have thought of Dennis Miller...but now that you mention it, he does seem angry all the time!
58 - CallmeMaddy
I like Bill O'Reilly. He doesn't sugarcoat things. Even if you don't agree with him, you have to admire that.
59 - Clavos
Daryl,
How about another article with the "Reserve Ten" list?
What if we're lucky enough to have some of the Top Ten die? Naming a Reserve Ten is nothing less than a vital public service.
Some candidates:
I concur with those who noted the omission of algore; also, Tom Tancredo richly deserves recognition (at least by Mexicans), and how could we ignore Gavin Newsom and his pompous pronouncements all year long?
60 - Shawn
Bill O'Reilly in the top 10? Surely thou jest. Especially when his chief rival, Mr "I want to be a serious journalist while still doing 'Olbertime' on NBC's 'Football Night In America'", aka Keith Olbermann, is the one deserving the spot in the top 10 for his JEALOUSY of Mr. O'Reilly's superior intelligence and speaking ability....
61 - Just saying what everybody really thinks
I agree with #13 - I am so sick of people who care about this planet. If I wanna crap on "Mother Earth" by burning fossil fuels, eating beef and pissing chemicals into our streams then I will. Freedom means you are FREE to pollute especially IF it means my life is better. Screw all environmentalists - and their "clean" environment. I'll take mine dirty - real dirty.
62 - Dr Dreadful
Since you don't mind living in a shithole, JSWERT, then why don't you move to Iraq?
63 - Just saying what everybody thinks
Dr. Dreadful, I like the passion in your tone.
But why Iraq? Why not pick another place that Republicans themselves fear to tread - let's think there are so many - should we vote on it? Maybe we should just pick somewhere that has received zero attention from our dear President - Darfur perhaps?
On second thought, I'll just be a Republican. I'll go to Iraq after this country is done sending all the inner city, economically disadvantaged, minority, undereducated class, "no-kid-left-behind-except-the-ones-without-money," "recruits."
Seriously, I think Al Gore is an American hero for putting up with the stupidity of the masses which inhabit this planet. By the way, I'm not an asshole, I only play one on TV.
64 - Dr Dreadful
Ah, JSWET, but there really are people like that...
The environment isn't (or shouldn't be) a partisan issue, as much as certain people in the Republican Party have tried to reason that puking trillions of tons of effluents into the atmosphere and hydrosphere, denuding entire continents of vegetation and covering all viable land with strip malls and housing has absolutely no effect on the planet's wellbeing*.
It's kind of surprising, though, how eco-friendly a lot of right-wingers are suddenly becoming now that the reality of oil reserves drying up in their lifetimes is tangible.
* To be fair, the Communists also used to claim this. Or they didn't care. One or the other.
65 - Just saying what everybody thinks
I think I like you Dr. Dreadful...
Wow people thinking and acting - what a great idea. Oil will make people do strange things. I thought it was great when I heard that all sorts of different churches and synagogues were meeting to discuss the environment. Wow. (I won't get my hopes up that they will also decide that any hateful behavior is wrong no matter who it is directed against.)
It's also interesting that nobody else who read this post commented - could it be that a little bit of that feeling is in many of us? Or are we too afraid to speak up against the thugs who visit many of these boards?
66 - Dr Dreadful
Speaking of douchebags... can I nominate whoever wrote the CoComment software?
67 - alexandria jackson
Poor Britney...I do appreciate the kind way you wrote about her self-sabotage....and what has she done now? Taking lessons from T.O?
Great list by the way. Anything that motivates people to comment is a great piece.
Peace.
68 - Bing McGhandi
Where was that dong who owned the Utah mine? He has my vote for choad of the year.
HJ
69 - jojo
Actually, "enjoy", Bill O'Reilly DID use the word wetbacks, as I can attest, having the clip right here on Tivo with me. My friends and I watch his show for the humor value, but I usually miss his show due to work, and when I found out about the hullballoo, I kept it!
He says something like, "We'd save lives because Mexican wetbacks, whatever you want to call them, the coyotes... they're not going to do what they're doing now.."
Later he claimed he meant to say "coyote," which is why he corrected himself so quickly. I'm willing to forgive him, I guess, but you can't pretend it didn't happen!
Ironically, his show is usually so offensive and ridiculous that when my friends and I first watched this episode we just laughed and didn't think much of it. I suppose that is somewhat telling.
70 - Jack Spicer
Takes one to know one. "Douchebag" is a sexist term.
71 - Ram
Include yourself on the list.
72 - Big Daddy
I am really proud of George. I would have been happy to see him anywhere on the list, but to place first??? I mean, I couldn't be more proud!
73 - Michele
I don't agree with Oprah being on there at all. It was not her fault at all that a perv was hired as people hide things like that well. On the contrary, she saw a need for something in this world and did something big about it. What have you done?
Oprah is an amazingly intelligent woman and highly worth of respect. If she was president, things would change for the better in this country quickly. Think about it, before you try to be funny.
74 - daryl d
Oprah sure can do a better job than our current president. But then again, just about anyone can.
75 - Clavos
""Douchebag" is a sexist term."
You're right.
Scumbag is better.
Nobody cares if you dump on men.