Shark ponders...
Shark Ponders the Imponderable — and comes up with...…
"A sinister cabal of superior writers."
The Top 100 Guitarists Ponder Intelligent Design in the Propaganda of Cindy Sheehan — Who Once Considered an Abortion Peformed by a Gay Married Couple - Comments Page 4
Article comments
— go to most recent comments126 - LegendaryMonkey
MONKEYS REPRESENTIN, WHAT, WHAT?
...I want to be an insider when I grow up. I'll have to work on my ego first, I think.
127 - DrPat
I'll be happy to stand guard outside your bunker, folks, but with all that patchoulli and cannabis (not to mention other pongs eventually resulting from indulgence in soy milk and granola) inside, I think I'd rather stay in the fresh air.
Here's a freebie, Silas: "I'd just like to get one thing straight between us!" Deliver it with sincerity as you gaze right into the desired one's eyes. Wait for the meaning to sink in.
Don't laugh.
128 - Silas Kain
I think I'll use that line on the insane and unsensible the next time his knickers get in a twist!
And speaking of pongs from the bunker, at least we'll have gas to cook with.
129 - LegendaryMonkey
On that note, I'm LEAVING the bunker. That IS the downside to being shut up with a bunch of guys....
130 - gonzo marx
well now..i don't even get an invite!!
/sniffles
fine..then i will just have to set up a 10,000 watt sound system around the bunker and play Motorhead and Tool and Pantera until big Al's head implodes...
mwahahahHAHAHAhahAHAHahahAHAHAhahHAHahaha
a good exhaust fan cuz i hate patchoulli, leave the liquor cuz i don't drink anymore...but i may have to test that leafy, budlike substance for purity of essence
and get that soy juice away from the real milk...no..that soy shit ain't milk..know how i'm certain of that?
cuz there ain't no such thing as a soy titty...that shit is vegetable juice, keep it away from my coffee!!!
nuff said?
Excelsior!
131 - JELIEL
Complete mastery of sarcasm and cynicism.
Re: Al Barger/Al Sadr " that was to much… =)
132 - Silas Kain
Gonzo, you know you have an open ended invitation to the bunker any time you want. There's a doobie with your name on it in the east end of the trench.
133 - Al Barger
Monkeygirl, it'd be a limp deal without you there. I've got a negative ion generator to clean the air.
Might need two if we're going to let Gonzo in, cause dude you do NOT want to be blasting me with Motorhead all Waco style, or you'd WISH you was dealing with that crazed Koresh dude. Plus, I have an extra pretty dress that would look FABULOUS on you, I'm sure.
DrPat, we would be happy to have you working security. Please don't react in a panic though if we're playing Shel Silverstein's "Freakin' at the Freakers Ball" and you hear Shark yelping in pain.
134 - LegendaryMonkey
Hmm, I'm gonna be friends with gonzo now, too, if he'll have me. Monkey likes Tool. And the bit about the lack of soy breasticles is classic.
135 - gonzo marx
man, i would pay real money to blast big al with some good tunes and have him rush out of the bunker all hostile...
and bump into the middle of my chest...
good times...good times...
as for the dress bit...ummm, middle aged ex-biker types don't look good in dresses, Al..no matter how much moonshine you drink..
Silas, i'll meet ya with a lighter at the east side, right after the first Motorhead album (Rock&Roll, of course) is done...grab Bennett on the way...
Excelsior!
136 - Bennett
I'm there!
Primus, Porter, and Primo.
In moderation of course.
137 - Shark
My pick for exterior bunker-busting music: Brenda Lee 24/7
My pick for interior party music: Jelly Roll Morton (sort of a heterosexual man's "Prince")
=====
Why do I get the feeling that Gonzo Marx looks like Big Al's dad?
138 - Silas Kain
Can Thursday be gay night? We could have disco and mushrooms. I might even sneak in a few Jefferson Starship tunes.
139 - Al Barger
Bennett, now is that Porter going to be Cole or Wagoner?
140 - LegendaryMonkey
Only if I can have wedgies and a gold lame halter.
141 - Bennett
Samuel Smith from the UK. Mine was better, but I don't brew anymore. However, I could if need be.
142 - Joe
Porter Rockwell, heathens!
143 - Al Barger
Silas, gay Thursday sounds absolutely fabulous. Perhaps I'll dress up nice in an evening gown and try my hand as a KD Lang impersonator. I might take a swing at "The Big Boned Gal."
144 - Bennett
OMG Does NOT compute!
Al, AL... AL!!!!
Wake up guy, you're only dreaming.
You don't look anything like kd lang.
145 - Al Barger
I don't sound much like KD either, but I'm come closer to passing for KD than, say, Cher. Plus, I'd get to sing better songs.
146 - LegendaryMonkey
Only the fellas have to stop! Monkey girl for the win!
Neener.
147 - gonzo marx
now Shark..i ain't that old, nor that big...but at 6'2" and around 225 i feel quite comfortable...hell, for Al i would even set my cane aside...
heh...kidding big guy...
Bennett...i knew i hadda like ya..Primus for the win!!
"they call me Mr-Know-it-all,
i am so eloquent,
perfection is my middle name,
and, whatever rhymes with eloquent"
Primus
Excelsior!
148 - Sam Jack
There are funny bits, but how about expanding your ideas and turning this into 10 or 20 different articles? Or are these quotes from other articles? If that's the case, shouldn't've posted it.
149 - Al Barger
Sam, you kinda walked into an ongoing group artistic creation, wherein we make our humble attempts at spinning out the Algonquin wit. Only the cool guys get to hang out on this thread, though. So if you want to stick around, you gotta make like Fonzie.
I'd estimate that 90% of the words here are original to this post. I will, however, specifically note that my talk of "reddish brown" wigs is a "Bob George" quote from Prince's infamous Black Album- describing another kind of bunker situation.
Perhaps some spinoffs would be in order. I could go with a fuller description from Silas of that Thursday "gay night" deal, for starters.
150 - adam
Penis.
151 - Steve S
Um, Al, are you wanting to dress in drag, and have your idea of a gay night, partying in something termed a 'bunker'?
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
152 - DrPat
Hmmm... You know what happens when you get a buncha literary folk together in a bunker with cool tunes, 'shrooms and jays, and lotsa liquor and munch-stuff?
(No, F-Monkey, not THAT!!)
Sooner or later, SOMEBODY (not namin' no names, but we all know who) is gonna want to read his poetry. Out loud.
I don't think I want to subject my signature bunny slippers to the risk of being trampled in the rush to exit the bunker when that happens...
153 - LegendaryMonkey
I would just like to state right now that I stopped writing poetry at the age of 16, and the world breathed a big sigh.
Now the rest of y'all need to confess. NOW. NO POETRY.
Unless you're like, ee cummings reincarnated or summat.
154 - Al Barger
Miss Monkey and Dr Pat, I might start ranting against pinkos and Mariah Carey fans and such, but I promise there will be NO reading of poetry under penalty of death.
155 - Silas Kain
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Pot is expensive,
And petrol is, too.
156 - Steve S
why read poetry when you can mime it?
157 - LegendaryMonkey
Bravo, Silas! On all counts. And Steve brings up another issue " NO MIMES.
But juggling is okay.
158 - Silas Kain
Juggling, heh? Now let's see, what can I juggle? Where's Al Barger when I need him?
159 - Mark Saleski
no poetry?
what about poetry disguised as performance art?
i'll do a poetry reading while big al dances (or whatever he wants ta call it) around a mariah carey doll...burned in effigy.
160 - Silas Kain
We should do a BC poem. Each writer gets one line. Wanna try and see what we come up with? Here's the first line :
Hickory dickory dock,
161 - gonzo marx
"Hickory dickory dock,"
but that's the punchline for the amputee who said "i've heard of wooden arms or legs...
but a hickory dockory, doc?"
but i digress...
i can't find my other fucking sock
Excelsior!
162 - LegendaryMonkey
I can't help but giggle over that one, gonzo.
163 - Silas Kain
Oh the line after Gonzo's has delicious potential! DrPat, where are you? BC needs you now more than ever!
So, we are now up to
Hickory dickory dock,
i can't find my other fucking sock,
164 - Al Barger
Perhaps Gonzo will regale us with a performance of the radical poetry of Rage Against the Machine.
Burning, however, does not seem like the best likely use for a Mariah Carey doll. Plus, if it's not singing, I'll have no problem.
165 - Mark Saleski
al, i didn't want to get near the topic of proper usage of a mariah doll because of the ugly images that wanted to pop into my head.
166 - LegendaryMonkey
Line three:
And that's no fun,
*sigh*
I'm not terribly clever today.
167 - Silas Kain
al, i didn't want to get near the topic of proper usage of a mariah doll because of the ugly images that wanted to pop into my head.
The antidote for Viagra has been discovered. Quick, somebody take out a patent.
168 - bhw
how about ...
I swear on my life,
I have a guy for a wife,
and it better not be on his cock!
169 - Silas Kain
Oh, bhw, you dawg, you.
170 - bhw
It had to end with cock, Silas. It did.
171 - Steve S
Hickory dickory dock,
i can't find my fucking sock,
And that's no fun,
When I'm on the run,
or just wanting to go for a walk!
Hickory dickory dock,
i can't find my OTHER fucking sock,
I swear on my life,
I have a guy for a wife,
and it better not be on his cock!
Hickory dickory dock,
I have found both my socks!
One was in the hamper
One was in the camper
.......
someone else finish it.
172 - Silas Kain
...and now I can play with my....
...um....
...rooster.
173 - gonzo marx
and another was stuffed in his jock!
Excelsior!
174 - Steve S
stuffed inside my wife's jock!
(oh, how scary the leaderboard will be).
175 - Steve S
egads, gonzo, we think alike.