Shark ponders...
Shark Ponders the Imponderable — and comes up with...…
"A sinister cabal of superior writers."
The Top 100 Guitarists Ponder Intelligent Design in the Propaganda of Cindy Sheehan — Who Once Considered an Abortion Peformed by a Gay Married Couple - Comments Page 3
Article comments
— go to most recent comments76 - Silas Kain
Look at it this way, Eric. I'd contribute to a 527s Blogcritics Organization. It's better than sinking my money into a political party.
77 - Nick Jones
Hey Al, you look tired. Are you getting enough rest? I've heard that teabags (no, not THAT kind!) or cucumber slices are good for getting rid of those eye-bags.
78 - DrPat
Don't believe that Victorian nonsense about cucumber slices, Nick -- I promise you, this canard was invented by frustrated Victorian women who needed to explain all those phallic vegetables in their kitchen gardens...
79 - Silas Kain
...then came along the Energizer Bunny and cucumber futures tanked. That's when Vlasic stepped in and bought them all up for pickling.
80 - Eric Berlin
DrPat -- Doctor of MANY subjects, apparantly...
81 - DrPat
Now, hemorrhoid cream to reduce bags under the eyes -- that really works!
At least, so I hear from the beauty pageant contestants...
82 - Silas Kain
Is not the usage of hemorrhoid cream akin to vaginal rejuvenation? DrPat really should bid to take over that Heloise column...
83 - DrPat
No, I have an entirely different unguent in mind for the rejuvenation of vaginas...
84 - Silas Kain
...and that is?
85 - DrPat
Suffice to say that:
86 - Silas Kain
OK, all you Mary Poppins fans:
Just a pipe full of ganja makes conservatives go down,
conservatives go down,
conservatives go down,
Just a pipe full of ganja makes conservatives go down,
in the most delightful ways...
87 - DrPat
Now there's an image we didn't need: stoned conservatives going down...
88 - Silas Kain
I know! Like, um, could you picture Karl Rove enjoying the company of say, Monica Lewinsky?
89 - nugget
Al Barger - many thanks. it's the effort that counts.
And shark, I think that's why I'm going to let you swim.
Firstly, I likes a lots my new epithet, " my little semi-precious clod of iron pyrites." Adorable, and I am more in love with my internet guise than ever.
Since this thread is about cartilaginous skeleton, coarse-skinned Chondrichthyes and NOT iron pyrites I won't digress:
"Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of outrageous motards,
Or to take arms against a sea of half-witted inarticulate trolls,
And by opposing -- end them? "
shark, wilt thou (my archaism is polite at worst!) pay a visit to your kitchen and introduce la pot a la kettle?
I'm obliged to pass a message sent to you from an Eric Berlin??? It reads:
"tsk tsk"
What is that COAD LANGWEGE?
---
90 - gonzo marx
Silas sez...
* Like, um, could you picture Karl Rove enjoying the company of say, Monica Lewinsky?*
nope...now ask about Rove and Gannon/Guckert....
Excelsior!
91 - Silas Kain
Guckert, Fleischer & Rove, ain't a law firm. In some tea rooms they're regarded as Washington's Holy Trinity.
92 - Eric Berlin
I've not sent any message via nugget...
93 - Jerry Falwell
"Newsflash..." Your an aborted fetus, Cindy bashing, kool-aid drinking, neo-nazi like, imbecile designed, lesbian homophobe, top ten preacher, goofball who needs to get a clue about 9/11. Worst of all your Pat Robertson's secret gay lover.
94 - Shark
Newsflash: "newsflash" is a banned word.
Due to listener requests (Shark loves to think short-term, fuck-the-future, follow-the-polls and respond to the aliterate public's opinions like an electric eel in the throes of a hormonal imbalance) -- the word "chickenhawk" has been added to the list of banned words.
In place of the now-banned "chickenhawk", We suggest you use:
a) domesticated barnyard militarist
b) A...HOL [Absent (without leave, but) Hard On Liberals]
c) cowardly heroes
d) fowl-like fighters
e) cock-a-doodle-dicks
Thanks,
The Management
=========
Note to my little semi-precious clod of iron pyrites:
Get your own material.
=========
...Meanwhile... a guy walks into the office of a talent agent...
95 - Shark
WHO ARE HIGHLY FUCKING OVERRATED
Seriously...
1) Eric Clapton
2) Jimmy Page
3) Mike Bloomfield
4) B.B. King
5) Eddie Van Halen
6) Angus Young
7) Joe Perry
8) "The Edge"
9) Jerry Garcia
10) David Gilmour
96 - Shark
I posted these comments elsewhere -- but fuck that -- I regret it now -- and this is MY THREAD and I'll do what I want!
And besides, why should I add brilliant insights to that surly bastid Temple Stark's yawn-inducing threads stating the bloody obvious?
It's my party and I'll post repititions if I want to...
("Content has been replaced by visuals, movement, and repetition." -- remember that?)
=======
re. SOLUTIONS TO IRAQ --
Sunday, Aug. 28, 2005 - New York Times
op-ed by David Brooks
I urge all to read it; contains one of the few sensible and sane solutions to Bush's Blunder, aka Iraq -- although I tend to think it's about 2 year too late to instigate such a plan.
PS: Watched "Gunner Palace" a few days ago; it's a pretty apolitical documentary (?) IMO, but it just added to my sense that Iraq is a massive disaster which USA and Iraq (+ world?) won't recover from for decades.
Best expression of total futility: the black US GI training Iraqi "security forces" -- he says, "What do you think these people will do when we leave? They're just here for the money..."
Ugh.
In other news: wonder what $200 billion and 130,000 soldiers could do for Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama right about now?
Thanks, George!
========
-- Some Predictions --
Between Iraq and the Tsunami, uh, I mean Hurricane Katrina, it appears that Bush will have been at the helm during what will come to be known as The Fall of the American Empire: I predict that U.S. strength, security, economics, etc -- will never recover to levels Bush inherited from Clinton.
Hello, 21st Century! This is the beginning of The End of U.S. Dominance.
(Bush's current crisis is maybe comparable to Lincoln during the Civil War...) --?
Difference: Lincoln became a hero. Bush will be seen as the worst President in history.
No matter what he does, Bush is fucked as a historical figure -- and Katrina's "trickle down" is gonna make 9/11 look like a picnic.
Give Bush's legacy about 20-30 years; then check the history books (if we still have 'em -- thanks to the Discovery Institute et al)
=== end of The Bloody Obvious Transmission ===
[Shark posts while knocking on the door of Al Barger's Survivalist Bunker -- saying, "Al, ol' buddy, it's yer pal... lemmee in, man..."]
97 - Al Barger
Ol' Al sez, sure Shark, c'mon in. Now in there and put on that new wig I bought you. No, no...the reddish brown one.
98 - Shark
Will do, Big Al -- but ya gotta do somethin' about that suit!
99 - Eric Berlin
I think your invocation of "The Edge" (in quotes) is the funniest bit yet.
100 - LegendaryMonkey
If you guys are partying in the bunker, I wanna come! I've got a 12 pack of Fat Tire and a fistful of CDs. Can I play? We can sit around a fire and read R.A.W.
101 - Shark
Legendary MonkeyGirl, you just turned this flaccid Shark... well... nevermind...
Al's listening.
102 - Mark Saleski
Jerry Garia?!!!!
i'm gonna toss you 'an al in that survivalist bunker with a copy of Terrapin Station, a lifetime supply of granola, soy milk and a patchoulli bomb.
that'll learn ya.
103 - Shark
EricBerlin, you are so astute! Nice snag!
(...and like Red Skelton, I even made MYSELF laugh at that one.)
xxoo <-- platonic -- unless we're in the bunker a reeeeely long time...
S
104 - Silas Kain
Careful, Shark, you're opening yourself up for persecution.
And what the hell is wrong with patchoulli, Eric? It hides the sweet scent of ganj very nicely.
105 - Shark
Silas, I believe we're all just a 12-pack away from bein' gay.
106 - Silas Kain
Dude, I'm a shot of Jack away from being straight.
107 - LegendaryMonkey
And I'm right in the middle! Silas gets to come into the bunker as well. We have to foster equality.
108 - Silas Kain
Was that a backdoor proposition? We better be careful or the Immoral Minority will target BC as a handmaiden of Lucifer.
109 - Eric Berlin
Things are getting downright lascivious and prurient up in here...
110 - LegendaryMonkey
You mean we're not?
Damn, I came to the wrong place. I thought you'd all be with me in the special hell.
111 - Silas Kain
Only a thread born out of Sharkian wit and wisdom could give birth to this kind of exchange. Shark brings out the straight in me and the gay in everyone else. He even has DrPat talking about cucumbers and vaginal rejuvenation.
112 - Al Barger
Oo-wee! Looks like things are getting ready to get interesting here in the holler. Miss Monkey, Silas, Shark, Al and some of my Prince albums = PARTY like it's 1999!
113 - Al Barger
Not as delightfully prurient, but two points to Eric Berlin for picking up on the quote marks around "The Edge."
That was particularly evil of you, Shark. You will be appropriately punished- though admittedly he asked for it by taking that moniker.
114 - Mark Saleski
he was given that moniker because of his v-shaped face.
honest.
115 - Mark Saleski
you guys want regular soy milk or vanilla?
116 - Al Barger
Monsieur Saleski, we're not going to be having no pinko soy milk in MY bunker. This party (including the generators) will be powered with straight Kentucky moonshine.
117 - Eric Berlin
Can I have a splash of Diet Coke to go with that moonshine?
Thanks.
118 - LegendaryMonkey
Fag.
*disclaimer: the above is meant as satire and is not a derogatory statement meant to offend, flip out, spaz, or otherwise make anyone pee their panties. Build a bridge.*
119 - Mark Saleski
moonshine and granola?
icky.
120 - Bennett
Your resident beer guide sez Fat Tire is exceptional+!
121 - LegendaryMonkey
I don't usually like beer that much (except Red Stripe... mmmm) and I love it. LOVE IT.
122 - Al Barger
Actually, granola is perfectly fine country food. It's just oats, and we hilljacks were eating the stuff long before the damned hippies got hold of it.
I don't go that much for beer, but there's nothing wrong with a good, patriotic Samuel Adams.
123 - Shark
Monkeygirl, good snag on the fagginess of Berlin's Diet Coke.
But we don't mind... a coupla of shots and he'll be wearin' one of Al's *dresses anyway.
* Al doesn't wear them; they're for "emergencies".
======
My favorite 'drink' (I'm from Texas, afer all...) is a pinch of Tang between my cheek and gum -- followed by a slug of really respensive Tequila.
======
Big Al, you suckin' on a Sam Adams is somehow incredibly appropriate -- although moonshine is a better fit for a true Libertarian. (no taxes paid, yahoo!)
124 - Shark
I think I should put a note at the top of this entry that says:
"Where Blogcritics Insiders Go to Drink, Be Friendly, Make Jokes, and Flirt with Monkeys"
Whatta yall think?
125 - Al Barger
Works for me.