This attitude of amorphous sexuality undoubtedly threatens established societal patterns. Society exists to maintain itself, and defining politics between sexes is a core activity. To self sexuals, society can exist only when they have a pressing need, or when its definitions line up with theirs. Otherwise, the self sexual acknowledges no group or social building block that threatens the sensual core. If anyone was to scrutinise that man, he justifies himself by saying it's continued self-awareness. And he is right. It is continued self-awareness. But it's hard to grasp. Remember that cult classic, Chasing Amy? Towards the end, as Ben Affleck's character Holden is trying to understand why Alyssa won't do a three-way with Banky and him, Alyssa tells Holden, through tears:
But what if - I saw something in Banky that I never saw before, and fell in love with him and left you. I've been down roads like this before; many times. I know you feel doing this will broaden your horizons and give you experience. But I've had those experiences on my own. I can't accompany you on yours. I'm past that now.
Holden struggles to make sense of this, just as I do.
Self sexuality hovers above us, in poised authority, not needing anything from us, self-sufficient somehow, like Hadden's blimp in the film Contact. The West and East both face the spectre of self sexuality. Eastern cultures generally still view sexuality with a deep sense of ambivalence and confusion. In the East, sexuality is parsed solely through the mould of monogamous marriage. Outside marriage, sexuality cannot be fathomed or dealt with in any significant or progressive way. Male sexuality, in its dysfunction through infidelity or fetishes, is in general quietly accepted and overlooked in Eastern culture.
In highly religious or faith-oriented subcultures, any expression of male sexuality outside monogamous, opposite-sex intercourse is attacked but quietly glossed over if discovered. It is not so with females in any context. Eastern culture is virulently opposed to sexually aware or expressive women. Obviously, the effect of the three original monotheistic faith systems, and their cultural applications, on the Middle East is clear here.
The West may have started out from where the East is currently, but later abandoned its inheritance, opting to continually revise and redevelop its doctrines of gender and sex. If sexuality can be defined as the way a man or woman express his or her perceived gender through speech, relationships with others, appearance, and world-view, and that sexuality is then validated through reciprocation, we can express an initial understanding of the concept of sexuality as a two-way road: a symbiotic process at best, an often polarised human exchange at worst. While sexuality still is defined, expounded, and accepted by willing ears from the mouths of leaders of faith and religion, not all will accept. People hesitate to listen and comply. Sexuality is preached from new pulpits: media, popular thought, spiritual traditions, and the vernacular philosophy of everyday life. As much as it unsettles believers in the Great Three monotheistic religions – Christianity, Islam, Judaism – a completely new sexual geography is upon us.