I’m at an age, hopefully, where I can tell the creeps from the nice guys. I may only be 21, but I’ve seen enough starers, fondlers, and especially stalkers to know I need to stay away from them. I worry, though, about my sisters, especially one in particular. She’s 16, the blond-haired, blue-eyed beauty that our mother and her father try so hard to shelter despite the many boys that line up on our doorstep to date her. She’s very dependent on others, even in unhealthy situations, so I’ve always wondered how she would handle an unhealthy situation. Besides, I know how hard it is at her age, when attention is very much desired and an older man is willingly providing it, to distinguish a romantic gesture from behavior that should raise a red flag.
One situation I recall from time to time happened when I was 16 and working at my first job. I wasn’t as sheltered as my sister but still naïve about certain things since, unlike my sister, I didn’t have my first official boyfriend until a few months later. Times were slower, or at least I thought so at that age, and my main thoughts were how to escape my job at the crumbling dollar theater where I worked and achieve instant popularity by getting a job across the street at Woodland Hills Mall. Despite this, the theater did become my second home, especially since I could talk freely about no-no topics with my coworkers and could trust them to listen, give me advice, be a shoulder to cry on, and open up to me. Maybe that’s why this new guy threw me off at first.
He was 33. When I was 16, this was old. I know now that most men his age do not look as old as he did. He had so little meat on him that the bones on his face nearly poked through his tight skin. The skin itself resembled a leather wallet. He had a full head of hair but he spiked it to cover how thin it actually was. Since he complied with the hideous dress code, nothing could be determined about how he dressed except his shirt was two sizes too big, but then that was also the style.
He had an excuse for working with the mostly teenaged staff. He came from a poor part of Los Angeles and wanted a fresh start. He bought a map one day, grabbed a bus, and just rode it until he found a city with the right vibe. On his way, he opened the map to notice that not only did Oklahoma have more than one city, but that my hometown of Tulsa had many economic opportunities not found anywhere else. He stopped here, got a job as a manager of a grocery store, and was just working at the movie theater to raise enough money to start his own business.
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Article comments
1 - Dr, Coach Love
Excellent article. Many teens and young women have stories to tell like yours and do not do so because of fear and ridicule. Bottom line---if it feels inappropriate or like harassment, it is. Unfortunately, even decent-minded men to whom it is reported often do not get it. The telltale question to ask them (if your credibility or the seriousness is questioned) is, "Is this behavior something that YOU would do?"
2 - Ruvy
Show this article to your sister.... It's the biggest favor you could do her.