The (Model) Number of the Beast - Page 2

Back to the Kirby. I had been going nuts in the living room — finding cobwebs here, pollen there, cleaning like crazy. I now have the hose and tube attachments going strong. I’m clearly in the zone, as I conquer dust and dirt in every corner. What’s this, a dusty spool of twine? Not for long! I take the tube and lightly hold it over the twine, delighting in how the baby dust bunnies are disappearing faster than you can say, “Oh shit!”

Yeah, not only were the bits of dust being speedily sucked up, but the end of the twine was fast disappearing as well. In a heartbeat, the vacuum cleaner shuddered slightly, belched, and shut itself off.

My mouth just hung open.

How the HELL did that happen, and SO fast? I started to pull the kelly green half-inch of twine out of the tube. It came out for about five inches, and stopped. Stuck tight to the insides of the beast. I unscrewed one tube, two tubes – still stuck. I pulled off the hose and saw a small ball of twine wound tighter than an Eagle Scout’s best clove hitch to the silver knobby thing. (Yeah, that’s a technical term.)

I pulled off the twine, having to cut parts of it as I went. Dear God, how did this much friggin’ twine unravel so fast? Seriously, it only took about 30 seconds for over 24 feet of twine (yeah, I measured) to be sucked up and rendered useless. 24 feet! Imagine If I was Rapunzel! Oh, and I checked the model number again of the Kirby. Should have known, 666.

I’m done cleaning for the day. I’m going to be calling Dan Brown, Father Damien and Gregory Peck’s ghost over for a little chat. Good thing I cleaned up the place!

Article Author: Mary K. Williams

Mary K. is a freelance entertainment writer living in the Greater Boston area. She pens CD reviews for Metronome Magazine and is a former Features Editor for Hot Psychology Magazine. Mary K. has also contributed to the anthology, Brewed Awakenings.

Visit Mary K. Williams's author page — Mary K. Williams's Blog