Could I hope for anything more than that?
Finding someone to pay me to do this would be great. Maybe some day that will happen. Maybe some day I will chase that dream and find that opportunity. There was a time when I thought anything short of that was a failure and a waste of time. It turns out I was wrong. I do not need the cash or the fame (although I will still take it) to feel fulfilled. I never would have believed I would feel this way. I am having fun doing what I am doing now. I enjoy it. It pleases me.
My goals and ambitions and hopes and dreams have changed a lot just in the five years since I graduated college. Maybe someday this won't be enough. I might wake up one day and decide it's not worth it or I want more. Who knows? Hell, someday we'll all look back on this and plow into the back of a truck.
Has any of this made a damn bit of sense to any of you? Me neither. I guess I am just putting one foot in front of the other, gratefully plugging away for another 24 hours.
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From: Mark Saleski'))
To: The Hot Topic Collective
Re: Writing Ambitions
I see "ambition" as a funny sort of word when it sits in such close proximity to my name. Not that I'm a slacker or anything. It's just that things like ambition and career and success... they're sort of foreign to me.
Does that mean I've been doing nothing all of these years? Of course not. Twenty-something planet-revolutions of CAD/CAM, pre-press, and various flavors of control system software. Lots and lots of bytes. Still, it never had inertia, if you know what I mean. Or... maybe it used to.
But... this writing thing kind of snuck up on me and, maybe for the first time, ambition isn't such an odd concept.
A few years ago I started writing music reviews for Blogcritics. Yeah, there's some inertia there. Plenty of it. The funny thing is that the source for this transformation, the push, the cause... has origins from my teen years. Many nights of scouring issues of Creem magazine cover-to-cover. Hours and hours spent in the University of Maine microfilm lab looking at old copies of Rolling Stone (Did you know they used to give out roach clips to new subscribers?!)
I lived for this stuff. But.. I just could not write. Not at the age of nineteen, anyway.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - DJRadiohead
Greg, you and I are in some agreement. I don't think I have a novel in me. I don't have the attention span for it nor is it the kind of writing that interests me.
I love writing about music. That is a path I could see for myself.
MondoCrew, well done once again.
2 - Mat Brewster
I like to think that I have a novel (or two) in me, but actually writing one seems impossible. Once in awhile I punch out a couple of pages and the fear of sucking like major grips me and I stop cold. The ideas in my head never seem to match the writing on the page.
3 - Matthew T. Sussman
I have a novel in me ... that's gonna be one hell of a bathroom visit.
4 - DJRadiohead
Another good thought, Brewster. The disconnect between my ideas and my ability to carry them off. I am convinced one or two of the shit pieces I have written were good ideas executed poorly.
5 - Mat Brewster
I just crapped the Grapes of Wrath!
There is a definite craft to writing. Lots of people have interesting ideas or stories to tell, but when told poorly it sucks. I worked a long time on learning how to tell a story orally. And I think I'm pretty good at it, but translating that into written word is quite difficult. There is a different rhythm to it and everything has to be described.
6 - DJRadiohead
The craft of music and film and theater and writing does not get enough 'play.' There is a tendency to obsess about the art and ignore the craft. That is a mistake. You are right, Brewster. It takes both.
7 - Mat Brewster
This is becoming a conversation of two here. Where is everybody? Ah well, we've got some good things going, just me and the DJ.
There is absolutely the art or genius of it. That's the part you can't learn in school or by studying the masters. But what you do learn is the craft. By reading lots of differnt types of literature, or watching movies, listening to music etc you can learn what works, and what doesn't.
Craft is where a lousy writer can become a good one. Take someone like King. He's someone I wouldn't call a genius. But he has learned his craft, he's perfected his technique and became a very gifted storyteller.
I think that is my aim. to hone the craft.
8 - DJRadiohead
We'll carry the water until the rest of the kids show up, Brewster.
I think all a person can aspire to is to grow at the craft because genius and artistry can't be taught. Not really. That is the thing that is visited upon a scant few by God, god, Buddha, Jehovah, Allah, The Great Spirit, or Divine Accident. You either have that or you don't.
For mere mortals like myself we are trying to take the modicum of talent visited upon us and marry it to some solid craftmasnship.
To that end, I have managed 555 words tonight. I don't think I'll hit 1,000 but then that wasn't necessarily my goal anyway. I am doing the do.
9 - gypsyman
Hey there all, well yes writing and all those asperations to finishing something and sending it off to the publisher... Part of the problem is that I've no control over the compulsion when it comes to writing, I have to wake up every morning and puke something out on the keyboard of the laptop or the day feels like a waste.
Then I've got to churn out the "novel" That's the thing I started back in nov..anyway this is what my post today was going to be about anyway..geez you guys I almost blew it by putting it in comments...
I write because by now I have no choice in the matter, I don't know when that started, maybe my first struggles at poetry? or that novel I tried to write when I was twenty one which will never see the light of day thank god.
It's always lurked in the back of my head, even when I was acting, so I guess it's the dominante force in my life...which is good because I'm actually starting to get good at it...sort of, at least in my version of the English language...
did any of this make sence?
gypsyman
10 - Sterfish
I've always had writing ambitions or just ambitions in a creative field. I wrote short stories when I was six years old. I drew comics (although I can't draw that well) in elementary school and high school. I started writing comedic skits in high school and saw skits that I wrote performed in college. I started writing reviews while I worked at a magazine in college and have really gotten into writing about TV, music, and movies now as a blogger.
Right now, I don't have a clue as to what I really want to do professionally, but I am damn sure I don't want to work retail for the rest of my life. I've always wanted to be a versatile writer with the ability to tackle more than one type of writing. However, while I'm optimistic about becoming a better writer, I'm not so optimistic about becoming a writer professionally.
For now, I'm pretty content with the wonderful, "anything you want to do" openness of blogging.
11 - Dave Nalle
I have three novels in my garage. I'd post them to BC, but then I'd have to both read them again and retype them on a computer since they were all written on an old electric typewriter. Way more suffering than I need.
Dave
12 - Mat Brewster
Krishna visited me once claiming he was going to bestow genius upon me, but I didn't like the gleam in his eye and kicked his ass.
I'm impressed gypsyman, I wish I had that pull everyday to churn out something. I always tell myself I'm going to write X amount of words a day, but never manage it. Even now, I should be really writing since I've got a couple of hours before work. But instead I read, comment and generally put it off.
Dave, I think that's one of the discouraging things to me about trying to write a novel (well besides just generally sucking when I try) is that all that will come from my efforts will be something else to store in the garage.
13 - Christopher Rose
Dave: or scan them into your puter, no reading necessary, paste and post, easy peasy!
Or post a page a day to a blog running automatically so th4e blog builds your book, your audience and your income? It's a Web 2.0 world!
Oh my stars, I'm encouraging Dave Nalle. LOL 2.0 world!
14 - DJRadiohead
Brewster, you have the makings of a short story there if not a novel. The day you kicked Krishna's ass because you didn't like the gleam in his eye. Classic.
15 - Greg Smyth
A fine topic lads. Thanks for the top contributions this time round - you excelled yourselves.
16 - Chelsea Snyder
I came to college 18 and concerned that I didn't have a passion in life. Two years later, I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else in life -- writing has become my passion. When I was sidelined for a bit, I found Blogcritics and it gave me a renewed sense of pride in my writing passion. It was a new outlet and I don't think I could ever fully explain how thankful I've been to have an outlet like this. (I also have the Chinese symbols for "writer" tattooed on my right foot, the foot I lead off on when I walk, so I always am led by my passion in life.)
17 - Chelsea Snyder
(I'll give him credit before he whines. Sussman introduced me to BC.)
18 - DJRadiohead
Greg, you pitched us a good one. I still think the Latvian translation of the Book of Mormon would have been better than my own contribution.
I know what you mean, Chelsea, about being so thankful for this outlet. I don't know if I will ever make a living at doing what I love but I now have a place to do what I love and that matters more.
19 - Eric Berlin
Great job all, I think this is very special edition. Even if it's a little too insidery and navel-gazingish, who cares, it still kicks ass!
20 - Mary K. Williams
I enjoyed this, and I too found my own thoughts reproduced here: 'actually liking my own work' for one. Yes, weird huh? I know I could use more confidence, but it is nice to look back at certain pieces, and NOT cringe. Also, 'not having the patience to write a novel' Yeah, I am short on attention/patience myself. It is funny though, and I bet you Mondo boys (and others) have had this happen to you: You mention to someone that you are a 'writer', and they all eventually ask, "So, writing a book?" or some variation of that. I guess most people think that 'writing' equates 'book'. It's like me and the karate thing. Soon as people find out I do martial arts, they all say...'oohhh gonna kick my ass?' Pretty soon, I'm going to have to reply, "yes, because that comment!"
anyway - good job MondoBoys!
21 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
my naval's burnt black wi the intensity a the gazes it's been gettin of late, Mr B. Someone has to look, damn it.
Mat has gone ahead an filled my head wi wonder at the thought of him kickin Krishna's ass. Krishna plays a mean flute, though. Must count for somethin.
The ol' words-per-day carry on is somethin i'd fancy stickin to, but it's hard. If i ain't in the right frame a mind, i know there ain't nothin gonna be written, or at least nothin that's gonna survive the next "select all" an "delete".
Now, however, i'm sufficiently fired up by this banter for to go attempt Chapter One, Part One anew.
22 - DJRadiohead
I wrote far fewer words last night but I actually finished a piece. Same in the end? Close. I wrote an article on what might be upcoming new music from His Royal Bobness (that's Dylan). Different kind of writing. It didn't need to be 1,000 words. There are rumors he is working on a new record. That's the news. I added some other information to it but the news is HRB is working on a new album.
This is why a hardcore daily word count isn't what I need. I am still feeling this out but I do see a need for having a goal of some kind. I do need something to keep me writing, whatever it is I write. So I am working figuring out what that is.
23 - DJRadiohead
Mary and Brewster, kicking ol' Krishna's ass. Someone writing this down? I want 20% of the gross.
24 - Mary K. Williams
kicking ol' Krishna's ass
DJ - Who is Krishna? And why am I kicking his ass in particular? I must have missed something - drat.
25 - DJRadiohead
Well, you do karate which means you kick ass. Mat had to kick Krishna's ass for looking at him funny. Since we're writing novles here I thought someone could turn you two into a tag team, ass-kicking SuperForce. Or something.
This is why I don't write novels.