From out the head-holes of a buncha self-appointed "cultural commentators" comes a weekly side-swipe at the issues of the day, the issues of the night, the issues of the late-afternoon when the telly's crap and it's too early to eat.
This is The Hot Topic.
This week - "Um, I Haven't Seen It / Heard It / Read It" - Our Secret Pop Cult Shames!
From: The Duke De Mondo
To: The Hot Topic Team
Re: Secret Pop Cult Shames
Couple days past, myself and Sir Fleming sat debating the in's and out's of pi to a couple hundred decimal points, sat discussin the elusive wonders of Scorpius Gigantus starring Jeff Fahey, sat discussing the whys and wherefores of Land Of The Dead (Is it shit, is it amazing, who the hell knows? Neither of us two, that's for sure, since ain't a single syllable of agreement to be found).
In the course of it all, plenty banter about Jimmy Stewart, crops up least nine or twenty-four times in any given conversation, half a hundred jokes referencing the spin a the wheelchair this way or that in Rear Window.
Rear Window, least 48% of all punchlines uttered by yours truly in the course of a day involve Hitchcock's flick about the nosey ol' bastard an the diabolical goings on.
Who knows why, or for what reason, or what ungodly voodoo mania led to it all, but all a sudden I get slapped upside the knackers with the kinda guilt most often results in grown-men fryin neath the desert sun chewin locusts an hollerin bout the prophet Isaiah.
All a sudden I feel the need to fess up.
What it is, I say, what's got me sweatin out my teeth, what it all relates to, see, is that, well…
I never actually seen Rear Window.
For shame! And you, The Duke, joking about it every day in existence, and you ain't even laid an eye on the monochrome splendor of it all ever even once!
And worse.
The other day, chat heads in the direction of Quentin Tarantino, how unless Robert Rodriguez is involved, then anything Q.T related that isn't actually directed by the uber-chinned whelp, best avoid the fucker altogether.
"Like what", asks Sir Fleming?
Like, I dunno, like Four Rooms, for example.
"Four Rooms? It was alright!"
Forced into a corner, forced to make my point about no, it's not alright, when really, when the truth of it all comes staggering into the bar-room buggered raw at five in the morning, what it coughs out the throat is, to be honest, I haven't actually seen Four Rooms.
Article comments
1 - Eric Berlin
Rear Window is one of the better Hitchcock films. It requires patience that I (and The Modern Audience) usually lacks, but pays off in a HUGE way late in the film. Jimmy Stewart's great in it (as always) as a cranky wheelchair-ridden bastard of sorts.
I can see making fun of the thing for sure, though -- voyuerism-central and all that.
2 - Mat Brewster
Thanks Duke. Always makes a lad feel good to be included with the likes of such greatness. Until I actually read my scribblings. Then I want to hide myself in shame, and stay out of the next one.
3 - Mat Brewster
I must feel a little pride now, though, having seen pretty much everything everyone else hasn't seen but Lawrence of Arabia, Das Boot and High Noon.
But I'll stop short of out snobbing us snobs since every last lot of ya could wipe the floor with me when it comes to plenty else.
4 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
i haven't seen Lawrence Of Arabia... and i should add that, since i never mentioned much about music in mine, i have yet to hear the music of Kraftwerk in any manner that counts (i might have heard a tune or two playin in bars here an there).
Eric, i have no doubt Rear Window is marvellous. just, for whatever reason, i never got around to it. one of these days!!
5 - DJRadiohead
I should add "Rear Window" is the ONLY Hitchcock movie I have ever seen. Forget Jimmy Stewart! Two words: Grace Fucking Kelly. Damn.
I've never heard any Kraftwerk or any of either Lanios' or Eno's solo work despite considering myself a fan of their production abilities.
6 - Mark Saleski
mr. radiohead has never heard The Clash. as that dude in the Dead Milkmen said, "jumpin' geezuz on a pogo stick!!!"
7 - Greg Smyth
Sorry I missed this one guys, nice work.
8 - Eric Berlin
I'm actually surprised that I've seen many of films mentioned here. Usually I get outclassed straight away in the cinema department by our resident scholars, such as The Good Sir Duke.
Lawrence of Arabia is a great cinematic experience really meant for the big screen. The pacing is awfully dull at points on the small screen.
I always love a good submarine film, and Das Boot is a great one! Top 5 Sub Films seems like a list that someone should do at some Point in Time. My shocking pick: Hunt For Red October comes in surprisingly high!
Grace Kelly is quite the looker in Rear Window, DJR...
9 - Miss Templeton
Not seen the Titanic! Shocked, I tell you. Shocked.
Actually I've never seen it either. But that cues a whole set of Titanic trivia involving my wedding, a Santa Monica pub band, and a New Orleans bar. May write that up somewhere else.
Well...I guess I ashamed of the fact that I have not yet seen a Jeff Fahey film. And I can't read Dumas in the original French. I thought Sherwood Anderson was a really boring American author and I prefer David Cassidy over Donny Osmond.
10 - utennysiscice
Hi,
I am new to this forum and want to introduce myself
:)