One could argue more abstractly that a national road-removal program will help to
bolster America's educational record. Currently, the products of our educational
systems are well below standards. Acts such as "No Child Left Behind" have
failed both in conception and in implementation — particularly in funding.
Abstractly, we might argue that
the family of reasons for these failures is surnamed "community". Road removal
programs, of necessity,
will tie communities closer together. Suburban sprawl will be
recognized as the culturally divisive phenomenon that it is, and localism will once
again take hold of communities. Closer familial and communal ties, historically,
have been directly linked to improved school performance.
Closer community bonds will inevitably reduce individualized senses of "entitlement",
sometimes called "entitlement egoism", that lead to poor student performance and
irresponsible urban development. When entitlement egoism is sufficiently purged
from the American conscience, then progress will again be possible in arts,
education, hard sciences and social reforms. America will be reborn
while the residue of a misunderstood and divisive infrastructure
is banished from the landscape.
Millions of miles of black ribbon severing ties across America are squarely to
blame for abstract social divisions and ecological disaster. The desperate need to
clean up this environmental and cultural mess cannot be understated.
References:
A Brief History of EPA's Oil Spill Program
The Oil Pollution Act, 1990, summary
The History Of Roads And Asphalt
Consumer Factsheet on: BENZO(A)PYRENE
Article comments
1 - Victor Plenty
Road removal is up on blocks, dude. Going nowhere.
2 - Jay
At first, I didn't notice the SATIRE heading, and thought maybe Merv Fingas had slipped on a patch of oily asphalt and spilled his own oily gray matter all over the highway. Then, upon noticing "populous" and "populus" ... by which I'm sure you meant populace ... I went back to re-read the article and found the SATIRE heading of your review. Great out-of-the-box thinking, although I'll bet dollars to in-the-box doughnuts that any number of readers will think ripping up the asphalt and burying it somewhere on the lone prairie REALLY IS a great idea! So, maybe you'll need to think about changing the SATIRE to FLATIRE, since that's what wooden highways and cobblestone roads would give us (what about a cobblestone-wood hybrid?). The idea about owners of "biggest automobiles" being first in line with picks and shovels is a good...especially if they're closely followed (or maybe preceded) by those money-grubbers who invent and sell them.
3 - Brian Sorrell
Jay, thanks for the eagle-eye on my typos. All fixed now :) I'm glad that you enjoyed it -- I'm thinking that maybe there should be a "SATIRE" alert on satire blogs -- I would not bet my doughnuts against your dollar.
Your idea about who should be second in line is quite nice. I have another satire cooking about what they will do.... Stay tuned.