We are all witness to the fact that television and video gaming pervade our lives today. We cannot afford to be naive and ignorant of the power of media. Life today demands vigilance and awareness which both come from engagement. It's the acknowledgement of this fact that makes me feel all the more responsible to teach my son to develop good values and the confidence to live on his own terms. I know the best way I can help him is by giving him guided exposure to the real world. I can only do that if I have acknowledged that today's world is not yesterday's world. It is not the world it was when I was a child or when my mother was a child, nor will it ever be that world again.
I think we can all agree that denying or severely controlling children's access to what they consider a good time – be it video games, the Internet, movies, or junk food – will only create a stronger desire. It will also jeopardize their understanding that we are not just their live-in adult police; we too have desires and want fun, and we balance it out with prudent research and risk/benefit analysis.
We need a balance between protecting our children and teaching them to protect themselves. We need to teach them how to find out what is important to them and how to safely enjoy those things. I am convinced that as parents we are in the best position to provide this education in surviving and enjoying life as a responsible adult. In the meantime, we get the opportunity to find the child within and let it come out to play, with our own children.
This may mean taking some time to research games that complement our children's skills, learning style, and areas that could use further development. Role playing games, for example, provide opportunities to exercise critical thinking, strategizing, decision making under stress, and some good hand-eye coordination skills. Then there are the virtual-world games, the god games, where they learn similar skills in a slower-paced environment with more room to develop management skills and learn to test theories and scenarios that may make them more successful in their games. Being a gamer does not instantly make your child develop asocial personality traits; leaving them alone with gaming or television as their babysitter or even just allowing them to experience interactive media or even television without guidance is the real problem.
Article comments
1 - FCEtier
Welcome to BC, Miko. You've brought up some interesting points. Technology and access to media can be daunting for parents of kids at any age!
In my practice of pharmacy (college town), I deal with 18-22 year olds who cannot make decisions without calling a parent on their cell phone!
To see a generation of young adults still connected to mom via the umbilical cord of a cell phone is disquieting and frustrating. Please encourage today's parents to teach their kids how to make decisions, self-control, and self-discipline!
I enjoyed your article.
2 - Ruvy
Welcome to BC. You raised a number of issues that we did not have to face as parents - fortunately. Our children are only a decade or so older than your son, and already it is a different world.
We used movie tapes to our best advantage. I remember how they loved "The Lion King" and the "Prince of Egypt" and how we milked both for every drop they were worth in terms of training them in issues of responsibility and identity ("The Lion King"), and seeing things from a Divine Eye ("The Prince of Egypt") rather than the narrow view of what they wanted right then and there.
On the other hand, we kept them away from computer games because we wanted them to develop an imagination on their own, without the guidance of programmers hustling America's sick culture in their programming.
In the end, the kids both became computer-savvy, but the training we gave them paid off in the end.
3 - diana hartman
Yes, the idea that parenting a child in today's world with today's resources and challenges by guided exposure is a good one, but the idea that the way the world used to be was somehow easier simply because it was "then" and came without all of today's technology? Not so much. Ask anyone who parented a child before and/or through the Civil Rights movement, for instance, if it was easier back then and you’re likely to see a facial expression that computer animation has yet to genuinely recreate.
The premise of guided exposure is used " and has been used " by those parents brave, knowledgeable and responsible enough to discuss those areas of life that are considerably more dangerous than a childhood rife with technology: drugs, premature and unprotected sex, dating violence, drinking, and so on.
It is a bit bothersome that there is no mention in the article of the child's responsibility to house and home. A child with an age-appropriate chore list simply doesn't have time to sit in front of a game console or television for a worrisome amount of time. The idea that rationing something to a child or keeping it from them entirely would leave the child wanting it an illusion fed to parents who are quick to think “No” equals “I don’t love you.” Telling the child "No" and leaving it at that? Yes, the child made purposefully ignorant will likely want of it. Telling the child "No" and "Here are the facts and here’s what I think it” empowers the child with knowledge and a sense that the parent is not, indeed, woefully behind in their own right.
That said, it is of great comfort that many young parents take their jobs seriously enough to not only set a game plan, but to follow it through to the point of telling others about it. Many parents of yesterday who have seen in their own families and in others’ what happens when there is no plan are grateful and assured that hope does indeed spring eternal.