Being pregnant for the second time round should make me somewhat of a veteran at the highs and lows of pregnancy and yet I wasn’t ready for a surge of indecisiveness that swept through my mind for a few heartfelt seconds last weekend.
Apart from the regular checks I had agreed for a new test that would test the fetus for Down’s syndrome and other potential fetal diseases. Sitting in the nurse’s office I signed a consent form for the test and while we discussed the pros and cons of a scenario that could go either way I cut the subtle probing of the nurse short and informed her that if anything was wrong for the baby then we wouldn’t carry forward the pregnancy due to practical reasons.
Nodding her head she took us (my husband and two year old son included) into a darkened room for my first ultra sound.
The little one was no more than the size of a jumbo shrimp and yet it looked like a miniature human being. Arms and legs flailed as the fetus flipped back and forth.Its heart, kidney and spine were well formed. The brain still had to develop and yet looking at the little being my husband and I both felt a sneaky happy feeling warm our hearts.
Here was our son’s next brother or sister growing under my heart and come end July there would be four of us instead of three. I could hardly wait for the next ultra sound to find out the sex of the baby to start shopping and pouring through baby name books.
The technician took the various snapshots of the baby’s nape and spine to check for defects and as she did that I realized that though the chances of my baby having Down’s syndrome were slim yet if something was wrong would I have the strength to carry forth my decision?