Well, we’ve reached the penultimate point in the downfall of American heartiness. That rugged, tough, ride a thousand miles on horseback, taking on an army single-handedly, yes John Wayne is shot to hell. What am I talking about? I’ll tell ya what I’m talking about!
I’m talking of course about the diapering of America.
It seems that diapering has moved from the first 24 months to a full 876 months out of say 960. There seems, according to all the commercials that are airing these days, to be about 7 years where males (at least) won’t need diapering of some sort. For the rest of us though…
I say “males” here because it seems matters have changed for women. Now, I’ve lived a few years. I’ve been married. I have an eighteen year old daughter. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been called at work and informed I had to swing by the store because it was “that time”.
I was lead to understand this was an event that occurred on a regular lunar cycle. That it lasted about a week, give or take. Apparently I was mistaken. So were millions of American women.
From the urgent ads now bombarding us hourly on television, it seems there is one day out of every month where a woman is not required to wear some sort of feminine protection. For those of you that must know it’s a Thursday, though I’m not quite sure which… Except for that ONE day every other requires some sort of protection because American women seem to be rather… Leaky.
And don’t think men are getting off easy! They’re apparently not getting off at all…
Pharmaceuticals are spending untold billions to find out why men: a.) can’t get it up; b.) can get it up but, shall we say, spoil the surprise by arriving early; c.) can get it up and don’t spoil things by being too eager but when the moment arrives don’t seem to have as much bang for the buck as say a medium gauge fire hose; d.) can get it up, doesn’t spoil the moment prematurely, does have more than adequate… PSI, despite its lack of impressive dimensions… A lack that inspires such outbursts as, “I’ve seen the nozzle, now where’s the hose?!”
Article comments
1 - Margaret Romao Toigo
Indeed, there are lots and lots of adult diapers nowadays when there used to be hardly any at all.
This might be due to people being more willing to discuss incontinence than they were in the past because we now realize that it is a silly thing to be embarrassed about as we also now understand that incontinence is caused by numerous physical factors (pregnancy, injury, disease, surgery) and not weakness of character.
There is a sexual fetish surrounding diapers in which mostly men enjoy being treated like babies (diapers, pacifiers, bottles and everything else) by stern, mother-figures, usually dressed in stereotypical 1950s housewife attire (think June Cleaver), who know when a good spanking is in order.
2 - Tan The Man
Fun stuff...
3 - Victor Plenty
Uh... Tan, you might want to clarify whether your response was to the article by Alethinos, or to the last sentence in the comment by Margaret. Wouldn't want anyone to jump to any conclusions about your, er, preferences, as it were.
4 - Tan The Man
I should've been more clear. My "Fun stuff..." was directed toward the article as a whole. I found it amusing.
In regards to Margaret's last comment, that is a first. I've never heard of that fetish before.
5 - Bennett
Suuuuuuure Tan... You say that with such a straight face.... NOT!
;-]
Someone deserves a good spanking!
6 - Victor Plenty
Actually there used to be a blogger right here on Blogcritics who occasionally posted pictures of these guys in diapers, with bizarre satirical comments about what was "really" going on with them. Can't say as I recall the name, though.
As for the bigger picture, I hope Alethinos is wrong about Corporate America's plans to put us all in diapers. I'd much rather they go with the evil plan laid out in the Dilbert comics awhile back, and charge all our bathroom breaks as part of our vacation time. Evil as that is, it beats diapering hands down.
7 - Bennett
Dude!
"Evil as that is, it beats diapering hands down."
FUNNY!
8 - DrPat
Crushkill, Victor. Try this post or this one.
He still posts here, BTW - but seems to have moved on from diapers...
9 - Temple Stark
An Editors' pick of the week from the section editor. Thank you.
Go HERE for a button you can put on your blog and to look at the other picks.