A little while ago there was an article in The Guardian about how "ubersexuals" are replacing "metrosexuals." Apparently, "ubersexual" men care about grooming as well, but don't get carried away with it. They smoke cigars, have more male friends than female friends, and lust after and respect women at the same time. Examples included George Clooney, Bill Clinton and...shudder...Donald Trump.
Then there was yet another article stating the following:
"The New Lad is old news, the Metrosexual should pack up his expensive eye cream and the Ubersexual can stop his pathetic dreaming about classic manliness. Modern man is actually a no-nonsense, well-balanced Heteropolitan, according to a new study.
Neither lager-loving sexists obsessed with football nor excessively moisturised, pink-shirted effeminates, Heteropolitans enjoy both the pub and the grooming parlour, and are surprisingly committed to relationships and family life."
Heteropolitan? Are you kidding me? While this seems like a specific attempt to put these particular behaviors back into the heterosexual realm, can't we just give all these names a rest? Why are we so eager to define and label men? Are "pretty boy" and "jock" and "nerd" and all the classics not good enough? We don't come up with all sorts of weird takes on the word "heterosexual" for all the different kinds of women who like to sleep with men. What it is about male sexuality that seems so slippery and elusive that we must stamp it with these strange, unsatisfying titles?
I'm done trying to analyze it. I don't think "Heteropolitan" is going to catch on anyway, so maybe - hopefully - it will all be behind us soon. Good riddance.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go apply pomade to my hair while I drink a beer, watch football, and peruse the latest Express for Men catalog.
Article comments
1 - Rich Powers
Don't you just love the media's ridiculous "trend" stories? How they practically invent trends using nothing but a few poorly-supported anecdotes, as if they're the harbingers of a new cultural revolution. Everyone will forget that lame "Heteropolitan" term within a week.
2 - Don Baiocchi
Exactly. And everyone doesn't even have to forget Heteropolitan in a week. It's barely a blip on the cultural radar to begin with (thankfully). Sometimes I think it's just journalists who think they're really clever trying to see what they can get away with (and therefore take credit for).
3 - Luke
the onlysexual term I've read about that I actually agreed with was retrosexual, women are sick of men who behave like sissy's, and are also sick of fat slobs, the retrosexual is literally shawn conery from the 60's 007 movies, and the cool thing about that is, it's a level of suave confident manliness that male trendwhores can't attain, and probably shouldn't even try.
4 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
If only I weren't short, bald and fat, I could try my "hand" at being a retrosexual. On the other hand, I'm happily married with kids. I don't have time for all that crap.
Hey Don, I know it's a long stretch a third of a world away, but can you pass the Brylcream this way?
5 - Don Baiocchi
i don't know what Brylcream is. Does that mean I'm a bad Metrosexual or a good Heteropolitan?