People say high school years are the best years of our lives. I say whoever said that must have been smoking something. Really, the worst part isn't school or peer pressure. It's dealing with boys.
I am possibly the world's biggest idiot when it comes to boys. I refer to my love life as "The Most Complicated Love Life That Doesn't Exist." I got my obliviousness from my father. My mother asked my father to go to the movies every day for two months until my father caught on that he was in a relationship. I must have heard this story a million times. I always shook my head and wondered how my bright father could possibly be so stupid.
Here's the problem, though. When I was little, the only dating I ever saw was on television, and let's face it, television isn't exactly real life. No one randomly walks up and kisses someone, although that would make it easier – or possibly harder. It depends on who's kissing who.
So, last year, I had a huge crush on a guy. He asked me to go to a track meet with him to get extra credit in Chemistry. (What was I thinking? This boy didn't care about Chemistry! He was failing Chemistry - and everything else. He wasn't my best pick.) Anyway, I invited someone else to come. The look of horror on his face when I showed up with another girl…it still haunts me.
The next day, he asked me out again. It was pretty clear: "Do you want to go to the jazz festival with me?" Yep, pretty clear. Not for me, though. I rejected him again without realizing it.
I did finally figure it out. I asked him out twice. He couldn't come the first time, and the other time I was literally about to walk out the door when my friend called asking to cover work. I hate being a good friend. He asked me once more, but again, I didn't realize he was trying to ask me. Finally, I gave up.
Junior year, New Year, same mistakes. I liked a new guy. I don't want to give too much away, considering he knows I write online. He knows pretty much everything, well, besides the fact that I like him. I did everything to please him. I called him for the "homework assignment" (please, I have a planner and a best friend in the next period) and I went to his sports games. I love reading body language (my secret hobby) and he had all the signs - hands on hips, wide eyes and pupils, raised eyebrows, everything.
Article comments
1 - El Bicho
Maddy, boys find girls just as frustrating to figure out and it doesn't necessarily get any easier the older you get. That's not all bad, though. Imagine all the great art that wouldn't exist if affairs of the heart were simple.
Don't worry about what everyone else thinks you should do. All you can do is what works for you, but you'll never know what might have been if you never put yourself in a position to be hurt or disappointed. As long as you learn from these experiences and try not to hurt people's feeling, the rest should work itself out.
2 - Mark Saleski
don't worry maddy, the boys don't have it all together either. i sure didn't when i was 16.
speaking of 16, i've gotta say that your writing level is far above that. heck, we have a lot of writers at bc much older than you who don't come close to this level. seriously!
3 - Matthew T. Sussman
Pardon the Yogi Berra-ness here, but the fact that you know you don't understand dating, means that you completely understand dating. Good work!
4 - Michael J. West
Maddy, I don't know how much this will help you, but I can tell you the big dating tip that changed my life:
The boys are just as clueless as you are.
It's probably not much consolation, but I promise - I absolutely swear - it's the key that unlocks the whole thing. Whenever you're intimidated, worried that you'll humiliate yourself, be hurt, etc., just remember, he's afraid of the exact same thing, all the time.
Ditto what Mark said. You are an extraordinarily gifted writer!
5 - CallmeMaddy
Thanks guys.
I saw him today, but the fact that he was ignoring me for most the day (He gave up on ignoring me at the end of the day, when he realized I wasn't stopping) kind of made it impossible for me to bring up. I didn't talk to him.
He had to go to the counsoler, so I told my homeroom teacher that I needed to go too. So, I'm about ready to talk to him, when Boy #1 shows up. A minute of awkward silence, until I just gave up. My luck doesn't get much worse...
Maddy
6 - DCB
You're not ready to date then. Try again when you're a little more aware of your surroundings. :-)
7 - CallmeMaddy
DCB--Did you not here the story about my dad? It's not going away.
UPDATE:
Hmm. Well, I finally talked to him about it. I told him I didn't have a date (Which made him smile, which I know is a good thing, but still not cool). I told him the whole Boy #1 story, which made him laugh, smile, and shake his head.
Then, he told me he had a date for the dance. Kill me. He says they are only going as "friends." And he doesn't like her like that. I actually believe him, though. I've seen them together--he doesn't like her like that. She does. You can totally tell by the body language. She kept moving closer, he kept moving farther. Quite amusing. ;)
Regardless, I still was in major depression.
Then, I went to the football game tonight and saw his body language when he saw me. Exactly what I wanted.
I've learned I'm a complete dope. It'll be better now that he knows I am a complete dope. Life is good.
I don't care anymore that girl #2 is taking my boy out. He doesn't like her like that; he just wants to be a nice guy.
And that just makes me like him even more.
:)
8 - Omniouseye
Maddy your level of writing is definately surprising for your age. Keep it up! It is probably better than mine, since its not even my first language.
Well, your post caught my eye due to the title. I am glad to see that it somehow worked out.
I will have just one advice (not that I want you to feel paranoid), take it slowly your very young. You wouldn't want to be played. Trust me, I am guy and some young men like to have many girlfriends or girls running after them. Its like a trophies and it bolster self-confidence. Its sounds crude, its a state of mind that exist in most men and some does it at a uncounscious level. Not that I am saying he is like that, so take it easy to know him better. Don't trust so much on body language, it is not perfect.
9 - CallmeMaddy
Thanks everyone.
The dance is over and I didn't go. Instead, my friends and I saw "30 Days of Night." I had a great weekend regardless.
We kept seeing limos though! I saw 3 on my way to the movies; my friend saw 4. Crazy rich town.
:)
10 - Baronius
With all due respect to DCB, it doesn't get substantially easier. You just stop being surprised at how awkward it can be. You also develop sympathy for the other person when you realize that they're stumbling around the same as you. Of course, the fun lies in getting past the misreads and finding the other person.
11 - Phillip Winn
As a few others have already said, most boys are just as clueless. Heck, I'm in my mid-30s, and my wife has to let me know when some woman is hitting on me.
Which is odd itself, but there you go. It doesn't get much easier, ever.
12 - CallmeMaddy
The boy decided to switch out of my class when he was upset with me in favor of an easier course.
Enter major depression.
I decided to ask him out. Either way I win. I would either get to talk to him or be able to avoid him easily.
I got an immediate yes.
See, I'm not so hopeless. ;)
13 - smileymiley
Maddy your writing is magnificent. It`s pretty cool how your life is like this, I mean with these expirences. It`s nice to have a little drama in life right?!
14 - CallmeMaddy
Part 2 is now up. Click on my profile. :)