Good Morning, Double Aquarius, biracial, gay cellist, deep-thinking, hard-working writer with one of the most exquisite charts I have ever seen in my life.
People with Saturn square the Sun and Moon are plagued with feeling that they suck!!! They can’t possibly be ‘good enough” just the way they are. So they generally try to compensate, by becoming the best at whatever they do. Do you play the living shit out of your cello? I bet you do.
This is a very hard problem to work with. Time brings some relief, but that’s not much help when you’re in your young twenties trying to feel good about yourself. So here again… you need to pick your friends.
Anyone who criticizes you should be out on their ass. That’s the last thing you need. You want to form and invest in relationships with people who support (Saturn) and empower (Pluto) you.
But to do this, you are going to have to internalize the idea that you are in fact worthy. And I am trying to help you on that front, by devoting most of this week to work on your chart – something unprecedented on my blog. And it’s not because I feel sorry for you. It’s because I think you are worth investing in. Actually, I know you are worth investing in.
So anyway, you’re going to have to work on your tendency to feel as if you are flawed. First by restricting access to people who nurture these kinds of feelings in you... while simultaneously increasing your exposure to people who hold you up. And people like that are out there, don’t you doubt it.
Beyond this, it’s an internal fight. Like a child who has been berated by a parent. Get rid of the parent, and the grown child replays the devastating messages. You need to work hard not to punish yourself in this way. And it can be subtle at first. “I can’t figure this out…” becomes “I am figuring this out...”
What that is, is hope. And hope is a Jupiter thing. And Jupiter is the antidote to Saturn. Despair (Saturn) versus the belief that things will improve (Jupiter). Get it? You want to cultivate the “Jupiter” end of this equation. Find some optimists for friends. Some people who are buoyant and make you laugh.
That is why I am calling you that name by the way. "Double Aquarius, biracial…" It’s to make you smile.
Tomorrow, focus on relationships.