Dear Elsa,
Much like your friend, I am also a biracial, gay cellist (amongst other things).
I am in my last semester of college, and I have been under a lot of strain lately. This has manifested itself in unexpected outbursts of anger, which is completely out of my character. My good friend's boyfriend even asked him if I had always been so unhappy.
I don't feel particularly unhappy, but there is a generally morose undercurrent flushing about my life, coming and going in such slow rhythms that I can't ever quite place its wherefores.
The best that I can do in my current state is to speculate that I am somewhat embittered about my inability to find, initiate, or even imagine myself in a romantic relationship (something that I have never experienced). Sometimes I feel that I am degenerating into a state that is completely unattractive to those with whom I would be the most compatible – that some part of my soul is becoming corrupted by something that I don't have the strength or wherewithal to handle right now.
I am profoundly lonely, even in the midst of all those in the world I would otherwise love. What would be a more constructive way of thinking about this problem?
Intricately Strung
Dear Strung,
Well hello, you Double Aquarius, biracial, gay cellist, deep-thinking, hard-working writer with one of the most exquisite charts I have ever seen in my life. How the hell are you? Not so good, I’m sorry to hear. I will try to help.
And I am going to take my time. I am going to write on your chart for a few days, so those reading with short attention spans, please come back later in the week.
First the anger. Anger, sex drive, and “getting what you want” in general is a function of Mars in a chart. Your Mars is in Scorpio conjunct Pluto, which is one badass Mars. It’s potent. It’s powerful. It’s a killer Mars, a super-focused Mars, but, it is also conjunct Saturn.
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