The Carnival of the Vanities Number Nine, Number Nine - Page 4

a small victory - For the Children, Episode Three - Generation Wuss - If all Johnny's problems are solved for him through mediation and intervention and peer group facilitating, Johnny will never learn how to solve problems on his own. He will never learn how to take matters into his own hands and he will spend his life thinking that there will always be someone to come to his rescue, always someone to do the talking for him.

Zod: She should call it "Why Johnny Votes Democratic"
Quiet, you.

mtpolitics.net - How Many Strikes Before You're Out? - The teachers strike continues here in Billings.
Everytime I think about it, my blood pressure starts rising, so I try not to think about it. But, you can't hardly turn around without it smacking you in the face.
On the opinion page of today's Guess-At-It, there is a letter from a 31-year teacher who only makes $45,000, which he snidely refers to as a "princely salary."

See You on The Funny Pages

IMAO - In My World: "Rumsfeld: Iraqi 'Bastards' Will Be Nuked" - When asked by a reporter if that he meant they would use a nuclear strike against Iraq if WMD's were used on U.S. troops, Rumsfeld replied, "We'll probably claim that's what happened when we nuke them just to calm the nancy boys in Europe, but I'm pretty set on nuking them no matter what. As soon as some Iraqi passes gas near one of our troops, we'll cry 'Biological warfare!' and then nuke the bastards."

South Knox Bubba - Making the Tough Decisions - Dick Cheney: Hello?
WHO: Mr. Vice President, I have Mr. Rove and Mr. Tenet on the line and they would like to conference you in, sir.
DC: OK, put me on.
WHO: Yes sir, thank you Mr. Vice President. I'll connect them now. (click) Go ahead Mr. Vice President. (click)
DC: Hey fellas, what's up?
KR: Hey, Dick. Did we wake you? Hahaha. Say, I've got George on the line here and he says his boys have finished analyzing that Al-Jazeera tape.
DC: Excellent.
KR: I couldn't remember what it was we said we wanted the result to be. Do you remember what we decided?

Yourish.com - Hulk Edward: Animals crossing - Hulk: Hulk getting image of doggie. [points to small, twentyish man, nerdy, wears glasses] You have doggie that dead?
Man: Uh, no. No, I don't.
Hulk: Then you have cat?
Man: Uh, no, sorry.
Hulk [moving closer, speaking louder]: Then you have bird?
Man: [softly, leaning as far back as he can in his seat, sweating]: I had a ferret. A ferret

Article Author: Bigwig

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