Not all of my indulgences are exclusively for females. I was pleased to note that upon visiting a male friend's bedsit a while back, said friend had a jar of Aesop body moisturiser. Ooh! Same brand as my night cream. It was this very night cream my brother and I were sharing. It ain't cheap, but it's bloody good stuff, so I fork out willingly.
Naturally, the jar emptied at a considerably quicker rate than when I was the sole user. So I very tentatively suggested we go halves on the cost of the next jar:
ME (very timidly): Uh, I was wondering...would you mind going halves on the next jar of the Aesop moisturiser? I mean, it's not cheap and, um, seeing as we're both using it...
HIM (in grunt-like fashion): Oh well, I suppose I'll have to, won't I?
(Which really sounded like: Uh-wol-ahs'pose-I-ah-to, wooo-I? Sorry, I don't understand 'grunt' all that fluently, I doubt many of you will either.)
In classic passive-aggressive 'I-think-you're-a-selfish-bastard' mentality, I removed the products I'd been so willing to share and put them on my shelf space in the bathroom cupboard. You might be thinking "what an immature cow!" but please note I’d been choosing to ignore the fact he was consuming, at a somewhat colossal rate, one of my favourite shower gels. He used up more of my Lush 'Flying Fox' than I did! Sob. It’s not quite as dear as the facial moisturiser, so I hadn't minded as much.
But the money wasn't the only issue here, it was more the distinct lack of consideration. A part of me feels he should be moved to contribute towards the cost of something jointly consumed, but apparently not. My mother suggested I order him to cough up, but that would be very mean-spirited, even for me.
There are other things that really piss me off about his bathroom etiquette. The list is extensive, and I’ve confirmed with third parties that some of it is just plain disgusting. But I can happily ignore those as long as he doesn’t start using up my lovely stuff. Until he’s willing to chip in, my stuff stays on my shelf.
So apparently, the bathroom is now in a 'user pays' zone. How wonderfully capitalist of us. Rather sad, but, alas, very much reflecting the state of the developed world.
Article comments
1 - cat
I think you're absolutely within rights to ask that Bro go halvsies on products you both use. He's being selfish and ridiculous! (Loved reading this post, btw). :)
2 - Snarkattack
Hey Cat, thank you for the kind comments. Writing this was revenge at its most delicious, heh heh.
3 - jayson
Funny how we work through our pasts through writing (I'm sure you're aware, though I think we often do it without being so). I like the fascism, communism, capitalism conceits. Carry on, Snark!
4 - Snarkattack
Thanks Jayson, it's always nice to have a fellow wordsmith stop by and say a nice word or two :)