You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat their pets. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat their subordinates. Personally speaking, you can also tell a lot about a person's nature if you pay particular attention to their bathroom etiquette.
I don't mean hygiene habits, though god knows you can tell an awful lot about a person based upon those. I mean things like how considerate they are of others if the bathroom is shared, and so on.
The bathroom has become a much-loved place over the last three years. I’ve discovered wonderful, relaxing, sensory pleasures. Bubble baths, fizzes, soaks, milks, powder, grains, soaps -- you name it. And oh! The delicious scents that emanate from a bathroom after such things are employed! Vanilla, jasmine, chamomile, lavender, honey, angelica, rose petals, milk powder -- they not only do things for the nose, but also for one's well-being.
Before I started dabbling in bath luxuries, my use of the bathroom was strictly practical. Make sure those pigtails are symmetrical, and that school tie knotted properly. I often joked that my brother was plenty vain enough for the two of us. He’d spent a good deal of the last thirteen or so years preening in front of the mirror. One has to look good for one’s public, after all!
In the golden age of our bathroom's fascist regime, coinciding with that damn nuisance called puberty, we could call my brother the dictator. He would completely lose it over important issues such as toilet paper, as one does.
What the hell? He would accuse me of leaving only enough paper on the roll to avoid changing it for a new one. Or of forgetting to replace a used-up roll (which only happened when I was in a rush!) and -- my personal favourite -- going ballistic over the paper hanging down too low for when he was standing up.
And I thought I was a nutjob.
Thankfully, Il Duce’s reign chez moi passed quickly (thank you, end of teenagehood). Zip ten years forward, almost to the present day. A certain famous Marxist spectre began to haunt our bathroom.
One might recall the previous mention of my brother making fun of my love for all things stereotypically girlie, and of my recent bathroom splurging habits as a recent development. One thing I would like to point out is that, while I might spend more than one should on these silly things, I am also willing to share them.
My brother, who works full time, isn’t the most generous of folk. Well, unless you beg. Ironically, he was much more generous when he was unemployed. Perhaps now he feels the world owes him something because he's a working man (more like a chav in a business suit, says I).
Article comments
1 - cat
I think you're absolutely within rights to ask that Bro go halvsies on products you both use. He's being selfish and ridiculous! (Loved reading this post, btw). :)
2 - Snarkattack
Hey Cat, thank you for the kind comments. Writing this was revenge at its most delicious, heh heh.
3 - jayson
Funny how we work through our pasts through writing (I'm sure you're aware, though I think we often do it without being so). I like the fascism, communism, capitalism conceits. Carry on, Snark!
4 - Snarkattack
Thanks Jayson, it's always nice to have a fellow wordsmith stop by and say a nice word or two :)