The 30 Most Shameful Events of 2003

In no particular order:

- Philanthropist Peter B. Lewis donates $8 million to the ACLU for "fighting anti-terrorism measures." As opposed to, say, fighting terrorism measures.

- Hoboken's Cadillac Bar has its liquor license suspended 30 days for a myriad of liquor control board violations; the first night it reopens in February, a man is killed in a bar fight. Then, in a fit of magical karma, the building above the bar collapses, shutting it permanently.

- PETA introduces a campaign called "Holocaust on your plate."

- New York Times reporter Jayson Blair is found to have plagiarized or fabricated countless articles, leading to the resignation of Executive Editor Howell Raines; Blair later receives a six-figure deal to write his memoirs, "Burning Down My Masters' House."

- Baylor basketball player Patrick Dennehy is shot and killed by teammate Carlton Dotson; two days after Dennehy's body is found, coach Dave Bliss is caught on tape encouraging other players to pin false drug charges on the dead man.

- "The Matrix" franchise releases not one boring, unimaginative and totally forgettable sequel, but rather two.

- The first known female Al-Qaeda operative, Aafia Siddiqui, is caught in Pakistan; she had earlier studied biology at several American universities, including Brandeis.

- More than 100 people are killed at a Rhode Island concert by the forgotten hair metal band Great White; indicating Great White's low industry profile, the incident goes completely unmentioned at the Grammy awards two weeks later.

- As pointed out by blogger Ken Layne, while millions of Americans gather to protest the Iraq war in mid-February, more Americans, that same weekend, go to see the marsupial comedy "Kangaroo Jack."

- Michael Jackson admits in a television interview that he regularly sleeps in the same bed with young boys; to no one’s surprise, he is once again arrested for children molestation a few months later.

- While the return to fashion of French-bashing is welcome, some take it too far, insisting french fries be called “Freedom Fries.”

- An aspiring rapper known as Big Lurch, allegedly acting on the orders of Suge Knight, kills and cannibalizes a woman in order to establish "streed cred."

- The New Jersey Nets reach the NBA finals, achieving a grand total of four home sellouts at Continental Arena throughout the regular season and playoffs.

- The website Friendster.com includes six different fake profiles for Kobe Bryant's accuser.

- Presidential candidate Dick Gephardt, despite nearly three decades in Congress, promises in a speech to use executive orders to overturn any Supreme Court decisions with which he disagrees.

Article Author: Stephen Silver

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