I realize that some of you ladies (and men) out there will take great offense to this, but I can't stand Tom Cruise. I don't care that he's been in some of the top grossing movies at the box office, I think he's a hack. I don't care who claims he's the sexiest man alive, I think he's a troll. If I had to nail down the exact reasons why he makes my skin crawl, they would be as follows:
1. He's Short. Short men bug me. And before the hate mail starts pouring in, let me explain. My personality is very alpha - blindingly alpha. Some men are intimidated by this, short men more so than most. This makes them either instantly hostile towards me or aggressively sexual as if, A) they have to prove something to me, and B) I actually give a shit. I make absolutely no apology for being a strong willed, sharp minded, sexually mature woman. Therefore, short men bug me.
2. The Whole Nicole Kidman Thing. I believe the consensus in this instance is that he's the ass. Even if it turns out she was carrying Raoul the Pool Boy's child, there's no excuse for causing a woman to lose a pregnancy. And, yes, I do blame that on Tom Cruise. He and Red had reportedly renewed their vows in a "romantic Christmas ceremony" then he filed for divorce in February. Shit, if that's romance, I'd hate to see the results of an actual fight!
3. He's a Scientologist. The popular rumor is that Robert Heinlein (one of the greatest sci-fi writers of all time) and L. Ron Hubbard (not) were shooting the shit about religion, when they made a bet: whoever could make the most money off of religion would win. Robert Heinlein wrote the culture changing classic novel Stranger in a Strange Land. Elron plagiarized a dozen different sources, wrote Dianetics, then formed the laugh-fest that is Scientology. Borrowing the worst of pulp sci-fi, cheap Russian brainwashing techniques and Psychic Friends Network infomercials, Scientology gives the rich and stupid a place to unload both their insecurities and their cash. Their allegedly renounced policy of Fair Game against all unbelievers should be, in and of itself, enough to allow them to be shot on sight. Well, that and Battlefield Earth.
4. His Fake Name. Tom. Cruise. Now, Cruise is not his real last name. It is his middle name. Whatever. It's kinda sleazy. Mapother is his real last name. Mapother. Never mind. He can keep the 'Cruise.'