It takes courage to share yourself in words, to open the vault of painful memories, difficult decisions, and life-altering situations in the hope that someone, somewhere, reading the story, will benefit from it.
A.L. Harper’s wonderful and touching My Teenage Pregnancy is such a story. A tale of a young girl faced with an unexpected pregnancy and her painful decision to give the child up for adoption. Ms. Harper shows grace, strength beyond her years, and a great deal of love in her story. It touched me deeply because I was the father of a teenage girl who became pregnant. It was hard to accept and it hurt me, but my pain was not what mattered, what mattered was my daughter, and my grandchild. This is her story, and mine.
I didn’t learn of my daughter’s pregnancy from her, I received a phone call from the boy’s mother telling me Alisha was pregnant. I called her a liar, slammed the phone down, and called my daughter at her friends house. “I want you to come home, right now.” As my wife and I waited for her, I became angrier and angrier, I couldn’t believe she was pregnant, and I couldn’t understand why she hadn’t told me. My wife was crying, not for herself, but for her baby. She understood better than I why Alisha hadn’t told me. She knew my daughter was afraid to tell me.
Alisha arrived, and we sat her down at the table in the kitchen. I told her about the call I’d gotten, and asked her if it was true? When her eyes filled with tears, I knew. It was one of the most difficult, saddest, disappointing moments of my life. I thought she ‘knew better.’ I was the one that should have known better. When I asked her why she didn’t tell me, she couldn’t speak, she could only put her head down and cry. I hate seeing my daughter cry, I never was able to resist her tears, and thankfully, it caused me to think before I spoke again, before I caused her more pain through my anger.
“Alisha, why, baby? Why didn’t you tell us?” When she choked out the words, “I thought you’d hate me,” it broke my heart. How could my daughter think that? Nothing she could ever do would make me hate her, no mistake could change my love for her. Taking my little girl in my arms, I held her close to me as she broke down. I told her that we would be there for her, that we would help her, and respect the decision she made, no matter what it was. Holding the face I cherish more than life in my hands, I told my daughter that I would love her til’ the day I died, no matter what had happened, that would never change. My daughter had never seen me cry before, but as I looked into her sad brown eyes I couldn’t hold back my tears. I ached for her, and I was sorry I had allowed my wounded pride to cause her more pain.
Article comments
1 - Josh
Thanks for sharing your story! Hopefully more pregnant teens will opt for the choice you have made.
2 - Chanakya
Mr.Marler,
Thanks for writing about your daughter. You are a very good man and a great father. I'm sure your family is proud of you. I can almost see Brendan thanking you in a few years...
3 - STM
Fantastic stuff Donnie. You might think you're just an ordinary bloke, but I reckon you're a dead-set bloody legend.
I bet your daughter and your grandson do too. Good on you mate. Very touching stuff, and something I can relate to as well. My eldest wasn't a teenager, but she decided to go it alone after her rat-bag of a fella left.
4 - A.L. Harper
Donnie
I am more touched than words can express. I haven't cried this much since I wrote my story. And this is the very reason I did share. There are so many good and bad things with each of these permanent and life-altering decisions. It's important for others to know they are not alone. That they can come through this too.
My hat is off to you and your daughter. And I am very pleased you opened up to share her beautiful and touching story with us.
Thank you.
5 - SFC SKI
I hope my daughter and I are never in the same situation, but if we are, I hope I handle it as well as you did.
6 - A.L. Harper
Congratulations this article is Assistant Music Editor, A.L. Harper's Editor's pick of the week.
7 - Alejandra
IM 15 years old and im 7 months pregnet i would of liked to have a dad like you who would be with me now that i need of him more.
8 - A.L. Harper
Alejandra -
If you need to talk you can contact me. My email address is on the Music page.
9 - Donnie Marler
Alejandra,
I hope you will reach out and allow A.L. to help you. I know you're going through a tremendously difficult time, but please remember that you're not alone. There are people that care about you and your babies welfare.
10 - Adriana
I went through the same thing.I had a baby and my mom was shock she told me you know what you did and I'am always here for you.I understand your case but you should try to understand your daughter.Your life story is really touching I hope my daughter don't come out like me.