(Before reading this post, keep in mind that nobody likes it when people die, but death is a part of life and this is strictly for fun. I admit to freely using people's ultimate demise as if they were part of some game, but if you may be offended, I understand and would not recommend further reading.)
Another year, another practice dead pool.
I participated in the '04 Lee Atwater Invitational, but only got Ronald Reagon correct. I forget who my practice team was this year, but I'm pretty sure I had Richard Pryor croaking. So again — probably just one person out of 10.
This year in the Lee Atwater, as 6 of the 10 most selected celebrities died: Pope John Paul II (1), Chief Justice William Rehnquist (3), boxer Max Schmeling (4), Scotty from Star Trek James Doohan (7), civil rights pioneer Rosa Parks (9) and Green Acres co-star Eddie Albert (10).
Looking toward the next year, there are several viable candidates. Hmmm. Maybe that's not the right word to use in this context.
So what's the best way to get a list of ten celebrities who will most likely not see 2007?
We can go back to that Lee Atwater Invitational list of the people most picked in '05 who lived:
- Lady Bird Johnson
- Brooke Astor
- Ronnie Biggs
- Gerald Ford
- Augusto Pinochet
- Al Lewis
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Billy Graham
- Kirk Douglas
- Dick Clark
So, how are these ten folks doing?
Lady Bird has had deteriorating health in recent years, but no more than the next 93-year-old.
Brooke Astor is 103. As Gonzo Marx may put it, "nuff said?"
Ronnie Biggs, a British prisoner famous (not to me) for the Great Train Robbery, has contracted MRSA, which I heard is some kind of bad virus. He's 80 years old. Sounds like a good bet to me.
Gerald Ford's hospitalization this month made headlines and people are likely to say he won't live through the year. Especially if he's eaten by wolves.
Article comments
1 - Webbie
Woah some long shots there... I'll bookmark your list and will keep an eye...
2 - Dave Nalle
Yeah, but the long-shots are balanced out by Zarqawi who is either already dead or almost a sure thing.
Dave
3 - Matthew T. Sussman
If one were to take the popular ten, here's how one would have done in '05 if they used the ten most used from '04:
Pope John Paul IILady Bird Johnson
Max SchmelingRonnie Biggs
Brooke Astor
Eddie AlbertBilly Graham
Al Lewis
Leon Askin
Billy Preston
So, 3/10. Sometimes you just have to shoot in the dark. I know Courtney Love is a longshot being only 41 but she's withstood 500 years worth of chemicals.
4 - El Bicho
Suss, you guys aren't scoring the game properly and I have a good mind to report you to USDPA. The older someone is usually means they are closer to death, so age is a contributing factor into the scoring.
If you pick anyone in their 90's, you score 1 point; in their 80's, you score two; and so on adding a point for each decade back. Nothing for anyone wished a Happy Birthday by Willard Scott.
It makes for more intriguing lists because long shots are rewarded. Jack Osbourne is a much bolder choice than Ozzy, wouldn't you agree. Someone willing to take a chance on a pick deserves some reward which is why Dakota Fanning scores 9 points over Mike Wallace who scores 2.
5 - Aaman
Here goes:
* Jack Nicholson
* Ted Kennedy
* Tommy Lee Jones
* Saddam Hussein
* Jiang Zemin
* The Dalai Lama
* Ron Weasley
* Mick Jagger
* Ann Coulter
* Dick Cheney
Hmm - let's see next year
6 - Matthew T. Sussman
Saddam will be tied up in the courts too long for him to die this year. And I don't think anyone will plot an assassination on him. Ramsey Clark, on the other hand ...
And El Bicho, you'll never take me alive. See your ass in court.
7 - uao
1. Chuck Berry
2. Robert Blake
3. Kirk Douglas
4. Phil Rizzuto
5. Gerald Ford
6. Walter Cronkite
7. Jeff the Drunk (Howard Stern Show)
8. Art Linkletter
9. Jack Lalanne (admittedly, he looked fit and strong when I saw him on TV last year)
10. Harry Morgan
I was surprised to see the father of LSD, Albert Hoffman, still hanging on at 99.
8 - Fatima
1. David Duke
2. David Hasselhoff
3. Fat Albert
4. Mary Kate and Ashley
5. Dakota Fanning
6. George Thorogood
7. Ally Mcbeal
8. Dylan Mulroney
9. Dermot McDermott
10. Rasputin
9 - RJ Elliott
Here's my own list, in this horrible, amoral, and disgusting (but fun!) game:
- Senator [D-WV] Robert Byrd (Democrat Senators running for re-election in battleground states seem to have this odd thing about dying right before the election...)
- Gerald Ford (Former US President)
- Mark Felt (aka, Deep Throat)
- Abu Musab al-Zarqawi (terrorist asshole)
- Kirk Douglas (legendary actor)
- Chuck Berry (legendary singer)
- Liz Taylor (legendary actress)
- JD Salinger (legendary author)
- Jesse Helms (former US Senator)
- Evo Morales (newly-elected President of Bolivia)
10 - uao
I should warn you guys; on the original Death Pool site (which closed after 9/11), I made one pick one time: Norman Fell. On no other basis other than I wanted someone no one else had thought of, and he was getting up in years and starting to look frail.
He was gone within a month.
I still feel horrible about it, and Norman, if you can hear me, I just didn't know my own strength...
I never tried the macabre game of the dark humors again until last night...
I hope it isn't Chuck; Blake's outlasted his purpose on this earth, though...
11 - Joanie
Al Lewis is still alive???
Abe Vigoda should be on that list somewhere. Everyone thinks he's dead, but he's not. It's quite possible that he'll ever die.
12 - gonzo marx
Suss sez...
*and if you kill the people on your list, that's considered cheating.*
fuck me gently with a chainsaw...you know how to take all the Fun out of things
i guess i better not play then...
Excelsior!
13 - Matthew T. Sussman
Tough start for the year. Nobody had Sharon.
14 - Matthew T. Sussman
'06 kicks off with its first high profile casualty: Lou Rawls
15 - Aaman
Yeah, but no one picked him, or Sharon
Add Pat Robertson to my picks
16 - Matthew T. Sussman
Ah ah ah. No addsies after January 1.
Even though yours appears to be more of a hate list than a dead pool list. Still.
17 - Natalie Davis
Played in a death pool a few years ago thinking it was harmless fun. Did really well. Frighteningly well. Since that point, my life has nosedived so precipitously that death quite literally would be an improvement. Instant karma got me and slapped me right in the face, so I would be remiss if I didn't warn people to beware...
NR Davis
18 - Aaman
The environment reflects our life condition, methinks.
Hope things get better, Ms Davis
19 - Matthew T. Sussman
Yeah but look at the bright side: you hid the gun so well everybody though Tupac was slain by a West coast rapper.
Way to repra-zent.
20 - Matthew T. Sussman
Al "Grandpa Munster" Lewis passed away today (link)
Point for me.