[Okay, no more Mr. Subtle.]How come I didn’t get a bottle of that?
Well, that’s a good question. We didn’t know you then.
Ah, so it was Shelley who arranged the case?
Yes.
So is Shelley getting a promotion or a bonus out of this?
[Deftly avoiding the question.] We knew that you loved Midleton, so Shelley sent you bottle of that.
[Gotta keep the pressure up. She's as slippery as an eel coated in Crisco.] Let's return to this Jameson Rare Vintage Reserve. That's another reason why you need me to be your international spokesperson because I don’t think anybody knows about this.
I’m sure more people could know about it. We’ll have to get you to try it and enjoy it. There aren’t that many bottles out there; we don’t have a lot here in the States, and, during the process of making it, a good portion evaporates and goes up to the angels.
[Another good reason to fake a strong affinity for God.]
There may be a surprise coming for your soon. [Did she really say that? Let me check the tape again. YES!]
That’d be good. I'll be checking the UPS and FedEx trucks every day. Excuse me, let me run out and see. Rats, not yet. By the way, I'm not crazy about Jameson 12-year-old.
Have you tried Jameson Gold?
I’ve never seen Jameson Gold. [These bastards have been keeping me in the dark. Maybe it's time for a new slogan.]
That’s a new launch… it's a 15-year-old. But the 18-year-old is my favorite.
[Feebly] Eighteen-year-old?
There's Jameson regular; 12-year-old; gold, which is a little more spicy, woodier, matured in virgin oak barrels; 18-year-old, which is my personal favorite; Jameson Rare Vintage Reserve, and the line of Midleton.
[By this point, I can barely speak. Hell, I can barely breathe. Who knew? How could I have lived in so much ignorance for so long? Colbert never would have been so naive.]
I have to tell you, I'm a little concerned about brand dilution. Plus, you're not out there letting people know what a harvest of plenty is available. That's why you need me to be your international spokesperson. [Am I pushing this too hard?]
I can understand your concern because we have so much out there, but I don’t see that as an issue because everybody likes something a little bit different. And you're not going to drink your 18-year-old every day, you'll wait for the right time and people to drink it with.
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