This should be no big deal, but it is: A professional basketball player has taken a step few other athletes have the courage to take. Sheryl Swoopes of the Houston Comets — while in the midst of a high-profile, award-winning career — has announced that she is gay.
From the Associated Press:
"I feel like I've been living a lie," the Houston Comets star said in an interview with The Associated Press. "I'm at a place in my life right now where I'm very happy, very content. I'm finally OK with the idea of who I love, who I want to be with."
Swoopes said she currently lives with her partner, former Comets assistant coach Alisa Scott.
The story was first reported in ESPN the Magazine, which hit newsstands Wednesday. She also announced an endorsement deal with Olivia, a lesbian cruise line.
Swoopes, the only WNBA player to win three MVP trophies, said she never had feelings for a woman before Scott and didn't understand them when they began. But in the seven years since, she said she's been "hurting" while hiding her relationship.
Now, Swoopes said, she finally feels free.
One of the running themes every year during October, National Coming Out Month, is the sense of freedom that comes from damning the consequences and revealing one's most personal truth. In Swoopes' case, the potential cost of freedom is high: The all-star athlete has legions of fans. The five-time Olympic gold medalist is seen as a role model to young girls and women and as a much-loved hometown hero to the folks of Brownfield, TX. Plenty of people still remember the 34-year-old hoopster in the role of wife and mother (she insists her 1999 divorce had nothing to do with her being a lesbian).
Very few athletes have the courage to step out of the closet while they are still in the game. Swoopes is the third WNBA player to come clean: New York Liberty player Sue Wicks did so in 2002, just before her retirement; former Minnesota Lynx Michele Van Gorp came out in July 2004 when she was still playing in the league. A number of male professional athletes have come out too — but none from a so-called "major" sport (football, baseball, basketball, hockey, auto racing) have done so while still an active player.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - DJRadiohead
I doubt this story will be much more than a blip on the radar as the WNBA just doesn't draw the attention/ratings other sports do. It will be talked about for a few days and then will probably fall off the map.
I agree we are likely a long way off from a male superstar athlete in one of the'major' sports 'coming out' while still active in their sport.
2 - DJRadiohead
I excerpted this from an article on ESPN:
I mean, you have Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O'Donnell, but you don't have your well-known gay African-American who's come out. Not to my knowledge. I know it's not accepted in the black community. I know I'll probably take a lot of flak.
It should be pointed out she does says in that interview she knows there will be people outside the black community who will not be accepting, either.
Having said that, I think it is interesting she has singled out the 'black community' (her choice of words) as being unaccepting of homosexuality. Not being African-American, I don't know if homosexuality is more or less accepted than in other racial/ ethnic groups (and I am not going to try to be anybody's spokesperson here). She doesn't say it is more or less- I don't want to put words in her mouth. Yet she does single them out. Is there anything to make of this? I don't know. I just find it interesting she addresses it at all.
3 - Natalie Davis
Yep, and it's a damned shame.
4 - Natalie Davis
Oh, #3 is in response to #1.
As for #2, 'phobes come in all shades. One is the same as the other, IMO.
5 - DJRadiohead
I also thought the timing of it was odd. Not odd in any sort of suspicious way, by any means. I am just not sure I understand the motivation or thought process that brought her to the point of going public- not that she needs one either. Just... well, I don't think it's uncommon for there to be a chain of events.
At any rate, she has stepped forward and gone public. It will be interesting to see what, if any, fallback occurs.
6 - Dave Nalle
The African American community is generally quite socially conservative, especially the older generations, so I'm not surprised at her concern.
But as for this being big news, I don't see it. The WNBA isn't known for generating much interest at all, and I have to say that one sort of expects a certain number of female atheletes to be gay, even if it's a wretched stereotype.
Now when all those gay NFL players start coming out we'll have something to talk about.
Dave
7 - Nancy
Why is it anyone's business but hers who she sleeps with or whatever? I don't understand this need by people to let everybody know who they're bonking and why. The only reason I could think of for anyone to be interested in anyone else's preferences is if they're planning on putting the make on them to begin with...otherwise it's just prurient nosiness/exhibitionism, isn't it?
8 - Natalie Davis
For one, Mr. DJRadiohead, it's Coming Out Month. What better time than October? Also, she had the cruise-spokesperson deal. In any case, she has had seven years to mull it over. Why not now? I would bet all I have that both she and Alisa are happier. My coming out was *hugely* messy and painful. But it was the happiest day of my life: It was like being reborn.
9 - Nancy
Uh, that was me asked why she bothered to come out now, Ms. Davis. Well - I guess DJ did first, but my comment followed. Why does announcing it to the world make such a difference? I'm asking because to me, that sort of thing is private.
10 - DJRadiohead
I was unaware of October being "Coming Out" month. I can certainly, in that context, understand the decision.
Like I tried to say in my comment, she doesn't have to have a reason beyond, "I wanted to." It is totally her call.
As to Comment #7: I think we have a large and active segment in our society that is prurient, nosy, exhibitionist society.
By that I don't mean Swoopes and her partner. At one time, the most popular adult videos were Tommy Lee/Pam Anderson and Paris Hilton. Stupidass Tonya Harding's video was also a popular one at one time. Celebs taping themselves. People going out to rent/buy the tapes once they are leaked. Classy.
11 - Natalie Davis
Sorry about that. Why does announcing it to the world make such a difference? Because so much of the spend invests so much time, money, and energy into demonizing people like me. It feels so good to stand up and say, (this is in general; not to you, Ms. Nancy) Fuck you -- this is who I am, I didn't choose it and if I did, queer ain't a bad thing to be, and godammit, despite all the torment bigots have caused me, I am OK with myself and with being who I am, with being queer.
People need to know that we exist. We have done nothing wrong. We have nothing to hide. And why not? Hets can flaunt their families. Why not me? Why not tell the world? Hiding is for criminals -- or people made to believe that they are.
12 - chancelucky
My guess is that she chose to do it now simply because it's after the season and she may have wanted to minimize distractions for her team with the timing. Now they have the whole offseason to react, figure out how to answer reporters, etc. before the WNBA deals with whatever little attention it does get for its games again.
13 - Dave Nalle
You know, she could have used it for publicity to boost attendance at her games if she'd done it at the start of the season, on the 'any publicity is good publicity' principle. Probably would have worked too.
Dave
14 - Nancy
It never made much difference to me; as long as no one was hitting on me I don't care what they do in private. I do in fact know people I know are gay/lesbian, but it's never been any kind of issue that came up. It would be (to me) like asking what kind of toilet paper they used. I don't need to know. But I can understand why your family et al needed to be told. You said it was messy; hope any family rifts got over & healed by now. That can be such an ugly, hurtful thing.
15 - Natalie Davis
Not completely, but I do not care. Really.
BTW, should a woman hit on you, politely demur and feel flattered -- just as you would if a guy you weren't interested in hit on you. It's no different, and it's no big deal.
16 - Cece
I agree with Nancy, what is the purpose of this National Exhibitionism. If you have been with someone for 8 years trust me people know. Yes, she does have the right to be as public as she wants to be. But, as a "public" person she, herself has crossed the privacy lines. She can not fault and be angered if and when people become intrusive,negative and vulgar . She has opened that door. What I don't want to hear from her later is that she has no privacy. Frankly, I don't give a damn who she's in her bed with and why is it necessary for us to know?
17 - Natalie Davis
When a society denounces what you are as a matter of law and cukturally spread lies, it is to the public good to present people who contradict that. Society says people should be ashamed to be gay because of A, B, and C. Ultimately -- even if you don't grok it -- it behooves society to be introduced to people who put the lie to the stereotypes.
Question: Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you tell people? Then you have publicized with whom you share a bed.
Let's move it into the larger sphere. Cameron Diaz tells the world that Justin Timberlake is her boyfriend. Ashton Kutcher made a statement last week about being with his wife in bed. If it's OK for them to be so forthcoming, why not Sheryl Swoopes? Particularly if the public perception is a lie: Would you want people to assume you are gay? (If you say you don't care, good for you, but most heterosexuals would not want people to make that assumption about them.) Why, then, would you be surprised if someone wants to make sure that people don't make inaccurate assumptions about them? In a perfect world, I would not care what people think about me, but given the societal climate, it is important that people have no misconceptions about me. Sheryl Swoopes was seen publicly with a husband; her reality has changed, and she wants to be seen for who she is. She wants people to know the real her. What's wrong with that? If that makes you uncomfortable -- if you would prefer to wander around assuming everyone is heterosexual -- that says something about you. Being gay or bisexual isn't bad. It is not something of which someone should feel ashamed for any reason. So long as she is not describing sexual positions or actions in inappropriate places, she is doing nothing wrong. All she said is, she is gay and she is in a longterm, loving, committed, monogamous relationship with someone she wants to marry. Congratulate her; she is a fortunate human.
18 - Nancy
I guess what I'm saying is, I don't give a rat's ass who Cameron Diaz is screwing today - or Kutcher, or Tom Whatsisface, or anybody else. It's not my business, & I rather resent them thinking I do care & have to know because they're just so elated to be fucking this, that or other person.
Jee-zuz, people, stow it! I don't want to know about celebritie's bowel problems, or details of their breeding & pregnancy, or other info of that ilk, either. It's consuming arrogance on their part to assume the world is interested.
I ignore as much as I can, but it's so...hyped by everyone, everywhere, it's inescapable. I really, really find it disgusting &, well, stupid.
19 - Natalie Davis
Ms. Nancy, I share your distaste for that celeb worship nonsense. What Swoopes did is different. Given the prevailing unkind, unjust, heterosexist society, what she did was make a political statement that challenges the dominant paradigm. She did the nation a service.
20 - Cece
All I have to say is: Brava, Nancy Brava! I'm giving you a standing ovation sweetie, I totally feel you. I honestly think I have given this saga enough time. Me chattering about this chicks life is crap and the best way for me to show that I don't give a damn is to move on to another topic. By-the-by, As stated in many articles it was an open secret, but, she had to put it out there to get the endorsement money from Olivia. Enough said, I'm gone.
21 - Nancy
Cece, I didn't mean to say the article was adverse, because that's not what I meant; I was talking about why the celebrities themselves feel constrained to tell one & all about their intimate lives. No criticism meant to you at all & I apologize if you thought so.
22 - Cece
No, I got what you were say, and I was speaking about he same thing "celebrities themselves".
23 - imanipoet@yahoo.com
You know it is always sooooo funny to me when heterosexuals define our (gay people) coming out as "what we do in bed". I mean, it would have to mean that you believe that homosexuality is only about "sex". Well...that is just not true.
I appreciate you, Natalie, for saying what I had already started typing (before I read your response).
P.S. For the record, gays & lesbians don't want to sleep with every person of the same sex. When I come out it is not because I want to hit on someone. It is usually because I refuse to be minimized by anyone...especially when in return I get to hear about their relationship problems and celebrations, but then I have to stay quite for fear someone will be disgusted. If I don't get say, "yeah, my partner is in the hospital and I am worried"...while I look at pictures of a co-workers honeymoon...then, I am devalued. No, thanks.
Thanks for the courage, Sheryl!
24 - Matthew T. Sussman
Now that Sheryl is out of the closer, fellow Houston athlete Brad Lidge finally has a place to hide.
25 - MCH
My 26 year old son "came out" when he was a sophomore in high school. They broke into his locker, stealing and destroying his property. They harassed him and picked on him wherever he went, in every class he attended. He's a small person, only 5'6", about 135 pounds then. One guy threw him across the hall as he was trying to get to class. The choir took a bus trip to another town once, when he got back late at night he discovered that someone had sliced his tires in the parking lot, I had to drive down and pick him up. He went from a solid C student to failing. He eventually dropped out of public school and went to an alternative high school, where things improved and he graduted on time.
He's had his share of abuse since then, ie, being attacked at an alcoholics anonymous club, tires slashed, etc.; but overall he's doing OK. He's left and returned to Montana several times (not much of a gay community here), and is currently working and residing in Washington D.C. As a parent, I suppose I'm constantly worried about his well-being, but I guess all I can do is keep supporting him (spiritually and mentally) and hope for the best...