I am no conspiracy theorist, folks, but even I have to wonder about the circumstances surrounding the birth and very early life of Suri Cruise, now almost three-months-old.
Not only have parents Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes kept her hidden her from view – which is just odd, what's the point of having a baby if you aren't going to show perfect strangers her little Festeresque countenance? – but oddities regarding her birth records are puzzling as well.
The latest intelligence to emerge on the missing Cruiseling is a three-page US magazine spread featuring a pic of Katie sipping coffee with a friend while vacationing in Telluride, Colorado. When asked about Suri by the US photogs, Katie responded cheerfully, "Suri's doing great. She's back at the house."
Tom was nowhere to be seen, but there were reports from locals that a baby was spotted and one clerk at a natural foods store reportedly said the baby (presumed to be Suri) was "funny looking."
Not sure if "funny looking" is meant to mean the baby was "comical" or a bit "off," but considering virtually all newborns are "funny looking," we can only guess at the implications for little Suri.
As the mother of two children, I am inclined to not entertain other people's idea of what's cute in a baby. All babies are beautiful to their parents and sometimes they are the only ones who think this; but 
all questionable "funny" business aside, strange goings-on with Suri's birth certificate are a curiosity.
Celebrity sleuths at TMZ did some digging and have discovered some odd irregularities regarding the child's birth records.
Suri was born on April 18, but athough St. John's Hospital has a policy of filing birth certificates within 10 days of birth, the certificate was not filed until May 8, 20 days later.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Eric Olsen
thanks Dawn, Rosemary's Baby comes to mind
2 - Dawn
Oh, that's not nice. Maybe Suri just has a lot of hair. On her head hopefully.
3 - Eric Olsen
so that would be the Suri with the Fringe On Top?
4 - Shannon Okey
Oh, that's bad, Eric. Just bad...
5 - Eric Olsen
Hi Shannon! I agree, really really bad
6 - Matthew T. Sussman
You don't know the history of ugly babies. I do.
7 - Eric Berlin
One would have to imagine that there's some kind of bad pub in the public seeing that baby... which is really really sad, isn't it?
8 - manfred
Anyone read how Will Smith and wife Jada came to the Cruise mansion and wanted to see the baby but they blown off by Tom and Will felt insulted and asked: DOES SHE EVEN EXIST MAN?
Hehe I found that pretty funny too.
Anyway nice article, really makes me wonder if that baby is real.
-manfred
9 - gossett
you guys should be pretty proud of yourselves for making fun of a new born baby and his parents....maybe they want their privacy,at least their not abusing their child like britney spears.
10 - lynn
I agree with gossett Privacy and some parents are very protective Maybe they are like that. Heck every one hears and sees Brad's baby Kinda boring now. let them come forth when they re ready. and knowing from experience. One is over joyed with the birth of ones child that filing paper work is the last thing on ones mind. So going over the 10 days no big deal. Give them there privacy.
11 - Mary K. Williams
I'm sure she's positively breathtaking!
12 - Matthew T. Sussman
...And that's a wrap, everybody. Mary wins. See you all next time!
13 - Charles Almon
I'll bet she looks like Sluggo from the old Nancy comic strip. Who's Suri now!
14 - Joanie
Heffernan brings to mind The King of Queens. Heh.
And, she IS a registered nurse midwife. If she didn't actually attend the birth or see the baby, her signature might only mean she was responsible for the person who did. Still, as a nurse myself, I wouldn't want to risk my license on something I didn't personally witness. Most nurse clinicians would also refuse to do so.
15 - TonaWanda
Wow, celebs are one thing, but picking on innocent children who didn't ask to be born into the life is pretty tacky.
Sure the parents actions are odd, as is everything Scientology, but leave the kid out of it.
I have to wonder if you really are a mother of two.
16 - duane
Innocent!? Hah! Innocent, my eye. You should get a load of this kid. Selfish as all hell, constantly crying and whining over this or that. Just laying around the house not lifting a finger to help out. Too lazy or spoiled or something to get up and go to the bathroom. Overeats and pukes all over everything. Eating disorder anyone? Probably obsessing over her weight. So Hollywood. Sleeps all the time, content to freeload off the parents. Another typical self-centered rich kid who thinks the world should be served up on a silver platter. Innocent ... bah!
17 - Jewels
duane, babies live to puke; it is their only real physical activity beside screaming...and well, 'making pants' - you know - when it's time to change the Pampers...
18 - suraiya
Let them be for God's sake!
19 - Barb
I think they're geniuses. By not showing the baby they're creating interest, questions about them and the baby thus increasing their box office bankability.
20 - Chris Evans
I honestly wish TomKat would go eat shit and die.
Tom Cruise's talent doesn't live up to his celebrity--and poor Katie Holmes needs to be set free.
21 - robert
who the fuck cares anyways?? they're celebrities, so what? does that give any of you the right to know ANYTHING about their personal lives?
22 - Eric Berlin
There are plenty of celebrities who live very private lives, because they choose not to plaster themselves over the public consciousness via every means imaginable. So, Cruise and Holmes have managed to perk the interest of the public what with the hopping on Oprah's couch and interviews and carefully engineered photo ops, etc. etc. Now that interest is perked, it's natural for that curiosity to extend to the whereabouts of the uber-couple's child, isn't it?
23 - Mark Saleski
my interest in suri was perked, until i started seeing that Taylor Hicks ford ad. now i'm just dying to know what these "possibilities" are all about.
24 - DJRadiohead
When people do bizarre things, other people are going to talk about it whether they are celebrities or not.
Dawn, you took it too easy on them. Don't go getting soft on us! =)
25 - Texas
This is why Tom and Katie want privacy. Comments like, "funny looking" is the very reason why I wouldn't want my kid photographed either.
Everyone isn't like Brad and Angelina(home wrecker) and bid their baby's photo to the higher bidder. I think that was a way to rub it in Jennifer's face.