Without going into all the details (which I already provided to the Polizei so leave me be!), there was an unfortunate incident at a sandwich shop near my village this evening. Suffice it to say, I take great issue with suicide-stupidity.
By the time a person is twenty-one years old that person should know better than to say something stupid like "People who commit suicide are selfish/lazy." Even if people who committed suicide were selfish/lazy, uttering this statement when one doesn't know for absolute sure that no one within earshot has lost a loved one to suicide is some hell-bound bad manners.
It's illogical to conclude that someone who has committed suicide was selfish/lazy to do so. The people who think this way have never known the peril of intense self-loathing on that level. Having led a relatively decent life has somehow skewed their perspective. They’ve never looked in the mirror and been so revolted that they would desire to kill much less successfully kill the source of that reflection. Relatively speaking, they've known nothing but good times. If one was able to recover from a traumatic event(s) in one's life, one's life has been good. Maybe one's life hasn't been great, but obviously not as bad as others. People who committed suicide knew no such good time when it counted most. They did not recover. To add insult to injury, some living jackass comes along and berates what was already thought by the suicidal person to be a big fat nothing. Good going. Kick 'em when they're dead.
Let's take a look at what is heard by the loved one left behind. But before we do, let's put aside the idea of letting jackass off the hook just because he/she didn't know there was someone around whose loved one committed suicide — they should've at least asked first. Of course this begs the question "Who the hell would ask such a thing?" Who the hell indeed! If one isn't willing to ask, then where does one get the will to voice an opinion? Or is it that one has absolutely no consideration for other people's feelings? Let's look at that. The unspoken sentiment behind the already inhuman statement "People who commit suicide are selfish/lazy" is "So what that his/her suicide caused you tremendous grief and that it may take you years to recover from your loss — take heart in knowing what a selfish, lazy, inconsiderate person they were. How could you have loved such a person in the first place?"
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - D L Ennis
Well said...Thank you!
2 - Luke
Even if suicide commiters were lazy, they're not around any longer to give a shit what people think of them.
3 - Nancy
I hope whoever made that statement got his misunderstanding corrected at the hands of the outraged.
People who commit suicide are (for the most part - I exempt those who suicide thru fear of retribution, like Adolf Hitler) so deeply troubled, they are seldom thinking straight. This certainly doesn't make them stupid & lazy, but rather, deserving of deep pity & compassion, & help.
4 - Nelson Dunlap
SUicide is selfish but I want to know why that person talked to everyone else but me?
5 - cat
what the hell i dont agree at all that a suecidal person is selfish nor lazy theyve obviously had a hard life and if there being beaten on or something then why not just hurt themselves thats all theyve known all along anyways if they commited suecide then they had there reason not just cause they were bored who are we to judge that
6 - faiz amin subhani
tthis is not fair to say the suicidal are lazy,selfist and stupid.i would like to say,they thoughts they dont get anymore from this life after spending a hard life,after failing in their amis.
7 - Synapse
Unfortunately I didn't read this two years ago, so I'll put in a comment that was severely lacking.
Those who have committed suicide were fools. Their deaths are a direct result of their stupidity. I think it is so pathetic how people have pity on such weak minded individuals. Sigh, at least we don't have to listen to them cry about how bad their life is. Remember If life sucks and you can't take it spare us the drama and end your "cursed" existence.
8 - gian
that is so true.. it's so easy for other people who have never ever felt what's like to say that suicidal people are lazy and stupid[like these are the only reasons for one to feel suicidal..>.<] let them try being in the suicidal person's shoes and ask them if they still think that suicidal people are lazy or stupid?
9 - shannon
they adviously felt unbearable pain and didn't see anyway out. whoever thinks a sucicidle person is lazy/stupid should have to walk around in that persons shoes then lets hear how they feel. tour ignorant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
10 - Dr.Phil
It is very insensitive and crass to say a suicidal person is selfish/lazy however, it is also a mistake to think suicide is the answer to life's many perils and problems. The majority of suicides occur with individuals who are suffering from severe mental illness ranging from depression to schizophrenia. Friends, family and loved ones should notice the signs of depression and DO SOMETHING about it since the suicidal person can't get out of the depths of their misery. I would never commit suicide, and yes, I have been severely depression and yes, sought medical help. I would never do it because to me it would be too selfish of me to abandon my spouse and children and family and pets and friends. Now if I didn;t have any of these people in my life, I might feel differently but, life is a gift and no matter how bad you may have it, someone has it much worse so suck it up, get help and LIVE!
11 - dee whyte
This is a bunch of bull! What r u people saying, that is ok to kill yourself because life isnt going the way you had hoped? GIVE ME A BREAK! Suicide is a VERY selfish act! Get a grip, get yourself some help and get over it! I have had VERY tramatic things happen even loosing my six week old to murder and YES.. I hated life and wanted to go to heaven to be with my child but that wasn't God's plan for me. I still have life here to live. If I would have killed myself, then my mother and father would have lost her daughter, and my brother would have no living siblings. Is that fair to them? NOOOOOOO.
I am now a mother again to a wonderful 13 year old son, he would have never had a chance to live had I been selfish and took my life 16 years ago. God's plan was for me to be a mom, just not to my first son (he was needed in heaven).
So like I said earlier, get help and move on, God still has a plan for you!
12 - Jef
dee whyte, you need to understand that not everyone believes in god. If god is what you want to believe in fine, but don't attack others for not doing so. The fact that you wanted to kill yourself so you could go to "heaven" is indicative that you didn't want to die, you just wanted to see your baby again.
And just because you think you felt suicidal once does not give you the right to judge others and certainly does not give you the ability to feel other peoples feelings.
13 - dee whyte
Jeff, r u feeling sad? Then why? Probably because things aren't going the way u planned. Wow and that is not selfish? Your poor family will have to suffer because u gave up. I sincerly hope u get the help you need and don't put your family through the pain you are obviously feeling. That is not fair to them!! That is the point I was trying to make. We have our ups and downs and sometimes are very, very lows, but have faith IN WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE. And know that someone else is going through worse than you somewhere else in the world and I am sure they aren't giving up. Pick yourself up by the boot straps and make the changes you want out of life and don't expect them to just some knockin gat your door!
14 - JGT
Life is not a gift, some man taught you that from the bible. Life is meaningless, nothing and empty. As long as you live you will be miserable, and that is guarantee. Remember you have a choice, if you want to commit suicide, thats good, if you want to live, that is good also. Stop being judgemental. Make your own decision
15 - michellehb
As a person with a history of suicide, dee whytes idea of god fixing everything is NOT an uncommon approach to those like myself.
Its unfortunate that many in the religious community have this opinion. maybe they could save more lives with a more loving sensitive approach.
my inability to complete had nothing to do with help from that group.
This is NOT an attack...just a comment based on experience.
and maybe suicide IS somewhat selfish, but really, what isnt?
16 - Dr Phil Sucks
it seems everyones a fucking comedian, doctor, psychatrist, mathematition, parent, gaurdian or coach these days, but they never take a moment to consider if there shit at it and should
1) leave it to the experts.
2) Shut up
I am more then happy to oblige as a part time lunatic with a 4x4 to tell them there stupid shit heads and escalate to violence and actually give the dumbass a reason for his servere retardation.
17 - Just me
Some people here are showing extreme ignorance. Suicide isn't "i dislile this, i'll kill myself". It's a result of something not right in the mind. Not everyone reacts the same to everything.
Often they're tortured inside, but hide it. Who are you to say what condition someone's in.
Suicide is neither selfish nor lazy. It's generally as an impulse from exceeding built up pain. The only selfish and lazy ones are the ones who won't give a few moments to show basic compassion.
As for letting the emotionally weak die, let's go with the physically weak too and not treat any illness. That satisfy you?
I'm not a medical expert, but I do know this area. I've nearly succeeded multiple times. When you feel the intense pain and desire to die, you can have a useable say here. Otherwise you're just assuming the worst and worsening the problem.
18 - Mike
I once knew this guy who on hearing that a friend of mine's dad had committed suicide he stated quite directly that it was "karma".
Needless to say I phased this 'friend' out of my life soon after.
19 - Guess
Suicide is selfish. People kill themselves because of a pain that the indvidual is feeling. That is, by definition selfish. Most people who are suicidal will smile in your face and say nothing is wrong. I never show a sign of depression, and people just believe I am happy. :D
20 - Guess Again
To Dee.
Making someone who is in constant emotional pain sta alive and lie to you about how they feel so you can be happy is much more selfish
21 - habagoba
a neurologist once told me that some people have natural desire built in them (as do some animals). This is why when some people look down form high places they have a 'desire to jump'... hence the phobia of high places. Some animals do this as well.
22 - MAD
"20 - Guess Again
Jan 04, 2010 at 10:41 pm
To Dee.
Making someone who is in constant emotional pain stay alive and lie to you about how they feel so you can be happy is much more selfish"
Agreed. If a person doesn't want to live, they're just supposed to grin and bear it for other people?
I don't want to live. I see no point in it. I stick around for their sake.
If I'm weak, fine, I'm weak for not understanding what the point is in staying alive and suffering this stupid miserable place.
But, you know, everyone else wants me here for some reason. Whatever. I guess if they have to be miserable, I have to grit my teeth and be miserable with them by living out this pointless game.
23 - Someone
I can agree people are selfish who want to commit suicide but its true, try living a day in their shoes, they could have been abused, raped, had a rougher life than anyone could imagine and most of those people dont wallow in their problems, some of them actually think if they kills themselves they are saving you from wasting your time with them.
24 - sandra
I'M not Crazy people hurting me. I had a best friend Carolyn who really betrayal my trust. She was the only person that would talk to me at church. People look at me like I had a disease.When I lost my dad over the christmas holidays in 2006 I was crying people walked over me like i didn't exist.I want to die and I will take me some sleeping pills. I'm ending my life!! Karl,Joeann and Carl you are the best YOU JUST DIDN'T KNOW THE PAIN I BEEN HOLDING. ILOVE YOU ALL.
25 - Vel-Wilson Blann
I have lost two friends to suicide. Both were wonderful loving people, generous, and possessed true values and substance as a human being. But what happened? Why did not they express their true feelings of lost hope and urgency to end life? Their friends and family may have helped them change their minds about it, perhaps 1 more day, month, hour, minute or second, may have made a difference. RIP (Dean & Sammy) I was your friend, but you did not even remember me before taking action against self. God Bless You.