I saw a picture of Lindsay Lohan yesterday in this one piece white sun-dressy thing. She looked like someone had propped her cracked out ass up and taken a picture. I could almost hear her whispering...hel..p...mee...
Well it got me to thinking. America has an obsession.
It's an obsession with looking fit and trim. Sexy if you will.
It's an obsession that is gravely distorted by the images you see in magazines and on television. These airbrushed beauties you see in magazines are not real. Those pictures are touched up by artists who hide every blemish, roll, or line you have. I'm not saying that these models aren't naturally beautiful to start. I know they are. But this distorted reality has driven some beautiful people (and some not so) to destroy their bodies. From south beach to the south river more people are getting more cosmetic surgery, going on more body destroying diets, and exercising to the point of exhaustion than ever before. It's like the media has brainwashed us all into believing that until we have rock hard abs and dress our faces up like a cover girl we are not good enough.
Did you ever see that scary reality TV show The Swan? It was like they made every contestant into the same woman. At the end of the show they would let the victim look into the mirror for the 1st time in months.
"...and now you too are... Swan" it's f'n crazy. If that was me and I was getting to see myself for the 1st time and I looked exactly the same as the Swan from last weeks episode I would be a little upset. I wouldn't be crying tears of joy cause I was 'purdy' that's for sure.
Article comments
1 - Henri Duong
I missed her when she had a body like this...
2 - Johannus
The general rule of reporting or increasing traffic flow or whatever: pictures say more than words.
think about it
3 - Scott Butki
Good satire piece -It seems to become
4 - Scott Butki
harder to satirize some of these topics and still do a good job with it.
5 - Simon
She didn't starve herself she just started drugs, duh! it was because if her aweful dad and stress or something.
6 - Matt Largo
Funny stuff Brian! I thought it was just my imagination that she started to look like a Grey with red hair and boobs. It would be funny to see if she has any connection at all to Area 51. It would make a good "Weekly World News" type story.
7 - paul_90009
Hey Bri - when was the last time anyone used an airbrush? Not on Lindsay, that's for sure. CG was already there when that babe was a tweenager. Yeah, I'll admit it, I got the hots for LL in Mean Girls mode. Man, that's some big-ass titties in there. That was a real piece of woman, the absolute body that a man REALLY wants in his bed. As for the Herbie thing, the "fully-loaded" was unfortunately not a reference to LL's upper superstructure; quite the contrary. Following rumbles from the pre-release viewing committee, Linday's two key features were digitally DIMINISHED, would you believe, and that's a fact. Groan.
C'mon Lindsay, get a grip girl. We want your sexy body, yeah the sexy one, not the cadaverous one. What use your pretty ankles atop your stilettos without curvacious calves and rounded thighs? Death to the sunken cheekbone! Gimme puff, babe!
Lindsay, don't follow the standard - set it!
8 - graeme
The more and more media pumps images of unhealthily skinny girls on our screens and casts them as 'beautiful', the more this is going to happen.
It's affluent countries biggest shame, changing our morals and expectations to be beyond reasonable.
9 - moe411
fuck lohan and the rest of the pimple-faced teeny bopper crowd..that includes the troll twins
boo-hoo..i'am fat and have lots of money
no-one gives a fuck..we all have probs..so deal with yours
10 - Waxtrax
She was absolutely one of the most beautiful creatures on this earth till she got stupid , I agree, she looks like hell now.
11 - sarina
i think that she is way to superficial and she really should not have air brushing done because it makes everyobne else who is not a celebrity look ugly..... we then want to be skinny and pretty and it just isn't fair. i think that airbrushing should be illegal-
12 - lukaslohan
linds is the best..............
you all are loosers...
love u lindsay!!!!!!!
13 - kylla kay
dat crazy i would never think linzey would turn out like dat i been watching linzey for a long time. but when people have dat much money dat what they do with it get cracked up she needs to stop and her parent need to be parents and help there daughter cause people is watching on t.v and she setting a bad example for her young rolemodels i think this happen to many time and she need to be punish cause it getting out of hand she think she could always pay her way out of things.if it wasn't a famous person we would of got punished for what happen why can't the same thing happen to her we all should be equal like martin luther king said
14 - anonimo
que salga sin ropa
15 - Channel
i feel for bad for Lidsay!! her mom took away all her money!!n now she was begging 50CENET 4 money.lame hu? well if u ask me it's her fult she had 2 waste her money!!!
16 - Anthony
back off America. She is a human being. leave her alone and have some frkn sympathy. Just because she got lucky with her life doesn't mean we all have to resent her and be all jealous of her and shit, She obviously needs some compassion and love. We just devour those who end up on a pedestal don't we? We're the evil freakin pieces of shit, not her.
17 - DJK
Has anyone besides me noticed that her biggest hit film Mean Girls has, minus the happy ending, become the story of her life? Let me explain...
She starts out this pure, wholesome girl. Sweet, down-to-earth, well-liked.
She is noticed by the bad crowd, a crowd of self-absorbed, superficial, immoral sluts(Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Nicole Richie), and is soon within their group.
Her innocence and being new to this sort of stardom proves her undoing in this bad crowd and soon she dumbing herself down and slutting herself up to fit in with them and the expectations of the people around her.
Eventually, she becomes no different from this bad crowd, it finally comes to a thunderous crash that provides her with disappointment from others and a seemingly irrepairable infamous reputation.
Like her character in Mean Girls, she has a lot to do if she wants to save herself from the deep pit she's dug herself into; she has to admit fault to what she's done, she needs to realize people like Paris Hilton and her posse are undeserving of anyone's attention and stop hanging out with them, and needs to get the support she needs from family and real friends.
18 - brooke
she is the fucking best maybe if you people leave her alone for a little she will get better.i love her.she is so pretty i dont care what you people say.
Lindsay you rock dont listen to these pieces of shit:)