Unfortunately, a close is just as difficult to write as a good hook. By now, you should be done with the details, but you want to remind the reader why this art is a piece of gold or... clay. For example, if you’re reviewing a fantasy book, and you’re a Tolkien fanatic, here’s one suggestion: “Many years ago when I put down the final volume of Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, I knew I had found a gem the likes of which I’d probably never again uncover. Dragons Don’t Have Teeth may not be the Hope Diamond, but it comes as close to Tolkien as you’re likely to get.”
The use of “I” works because of the reference to one of the most beloved fantasies of all time. People will see the Tolkien reference and understand completely what you mean by getting close without being distracted by your opinion.
Here’s a close that could have been much better had the writer just left himself out of the picture:
"I'm sure my friends from the party are talking about my musical tastes behind my back. At forty-six, I probably should be more immersed in jazz, classical, and pop then I am. But let the mf'ers talk — so much of what we call entertainment these days is flat and boring. At least NOFX and other bands approaching middle age still have the balls to produce some very funny stuff."
Start reading from “So much of what we call entertainment...” and you’ll see how powerful the ending could have been.
Here’s an almost perfect close that sums up quickly the essence of an album:
"It’s a relative impossibility that Queensryche could ever surpass the brilliance it created the first time around. Too much time has passed: Whereas the original likely sprung from a magical, collective inspiration, the band's musical ideas are now conceived and planned. Still, there is no denying that the band's latest release is the best work it has done in more than a decade. An appropriate sequel to their best-ever work, Operation Mindcrime II delivers as most had hoped it would."
The only problem is too many words. Here’s the same close tightened up:
"It’s impossible that Queensryche could surpass its original brilliance - too much time has passed. Where the original sprung from a magical, collective inspiration, the musical ideas are now conceived and planned. Still, the band's latest release is its best work in over a decade. An appropriate sequel to their best-ever work, Operation Mindcrime II delivers as most had hoped it would."
A few more good closes:
"The band sounds good, and the power of Dio's voice does come around eventually, but the bulk of the appealing CD here (disc 1) is plagued by the most raspy, unpowerful voice you'll ever hear from Ronnie James Dio."
Says it all, and leaves the reader with a clear picture.
"Eh, but who cares about bad acting and moral lessons anyway? We're here to see Karloff's Monster lurch and grunt and beat people up, and that's what we get. And as an added bonus, he cries. What more can you ask for from a monster?"
Memorable close and great last line.
Article comments
1 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
Mark, you had me at "Bad, Naked Girls With Kinky Tattoos." I laughed, I cried, I learned, dammit.
Good stuff, well-expressed. To quote you: You "started with a clear idea of what you wanted to communicate to your audience [and] you created a smooth-flowing analysis that helps the reader understand that idea."
2 - Nicholas Stix
I'm just putting my mark on this so I can find it to read later today.
3 - mschannon
Gordon,
Thanks. I do appreciate the comments. I put more time into this *&%$^& article than into my doctoral thesis--wait a minute, I never wrote a doctoral thesis. Well, you get the idea. Glad it's appreciated.
In Decaf Veritas
4 - chantal stone
Mark...as soon as I buy some printer ink, I'm going to print this out for reference. Great job, and THANKS for the advice!
5 - mschannon
Chantal, bless you, my dear. All compliments welcome--and needed.
6 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Mark, excellent article. Much of this advice holds for writing any article, and a lot of the things you write here also go for writng a short story s well. Reminds me an awful lot of the kinds of things that Emily Crofford used to teach is in a junior high in east Saint Paul 25 years ago...
She didn't drink decaf, though.
Ha'emét nimtzá b'kafé hafúkh
(in 'Kaffee mit Schlag' veritas)
7 - mschannon
Ruvy, good writing is good writing, regardless of the form...point well taken. (By the way, I haven't ignored your two e-mails--I've just been too buy to give them the time they deserve, but I will read them.)
I'm sorry, though, Kaffee mit Schlag sounds German...I ain't doin' no German tag line. Plus, at some point, I'm going to drink again & I can return to the truth...
In Jameson Veritas...
But thank's anyway.
8 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
"...Kaffee mit Schlag sounds German...I ain't doin' no German tag line."
Well, I think, sir, that I'll use a Hebrew one.
Reshít Hokhmá yir'át Hashém
The beginning of wisdom is fear of G-d
9 - mschannon
Ruvy,
I guess I'm dumber than a rock. I refuse to be afraid of God. If I ever make the leap of faith, I may learn to respect, admire, love, be in awe of....etc. But fear...never.
Life should not be dominated by fear...of God or anyone/anything else. Life is a blessing, a gift--who know's from where--and should be cherished for what it offers even in the face of everything that would cause one pain.
I don't know if you've read John Spivey's articles or books, but I believe he is on the right track, and I'm even considering giving up my curmudgeon status in my spiritual quest. John tells the story of the Bhudda holding up a flower and only one person in the crowd smiling--understanding the significane.
I once understood it, and John's example brought it back to me. It's not deep, metaphorical, spiritual...it's not cosmic consciousness. It's a simplicity of appreciation for the flower for what it is, asking nothing more from it but to be allowed to appreciate its beauty.
Every step on our journey offers moments of awe that sound trivial. A rock in a garden that somehow just fits right. A smile from a stranger. An upwelling of joy just for the privilege of being alive. Helping another for no other reason that it's a good thing to do.
Where in all of that could a fear of God exist? (Hmmm. I'm on my way to an article here, I think.)
I keep coming back to that Thoreau quote: "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to their graves with the song still in them."
Fear of God? Doesn't that foster desperation? The last few years have been difficult for me, and for a while I gave in to desperation. I've worked my way out...with some help from John.
I will learn to fear nothing...not through strife or struggle but through acceptance of myself and the world in which I find myself.
Ruvy, I'm afraid your God and the one I wished I could believe in are very, very different. I hope you find comfort, peace, and tranquillity in yours--but at least from what I've seen of American Jews, that's something we're not very good at.
Know, however, how much I value your friendship and knowledge.
10 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Mark,
The common translation of the word yir'á is "fear." A more apporpriate translation of the sense of the word is not so much "fear" as "awe." In other words, one stands in awe of the Almighty - and this is the beginning of wisdom.
Example. A man sits on a bus and fears - very nearly trembles in fear - over the coming shut-off of his electricity if he fails to pay the bill. And he hasn't got the money and doesn't know where h will get it. For a moment, he calms himself and asks "what is he supposed to learn from all this?" And he has the "ahah!" moment of realizing that rather than being in fear of the electric company and what it can do to him, he should be in awe of G-d and how He can help him. A sense of serenity and clear-mindedness returns and he is able to try to formjulate what he should do.
Standing in awe of the Almighty is the beginninig of his wisdom.
Reshít Hokhmá yir'át Hashém
11 - mschannon
Ruvy, now you tell me after my long diatribe!!!
I'm perfectly happy being in awe of God if only He'd show himself. Awe is good. Fear is bad. Except (there's always an except) I have trouble with this notion of God interceding on our behalf. But that's another diatribe, and it's time for dinner, LOL.
Thanks for the clarification.
In Awe Veritas
12 - chantal stone
Mark...wow...you really should expand #9 into an article. Very good, indeed.
In diet coke Veritas
13 - mschannon
Thanks,Chantal. I was actually doing that when Ruvy pulled the rug out from under me by substituting awe for fear. However, there's enough religion based on fear of God that it still might work.
Those sneaking Israelis!
In Decaf Veritas
14 - chantal stone
it'll definitely work...go with it
in pinot noir veritas
15 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Mark,
G-d shows His wonders (if not Himself) to those who put faith in Him. The grace after meals pulls a line from Jeremiah to illustrate the idea. "Blessed is he who trusts in G-d for G-d shall be his security."
I've seen this in my life and my wife's life - far too many times to be mere coincidence or good luck - this comes from a former atheist, Mark, not some yehiva boy.
16 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
And don't forget the line, Mark.
Reshít Hokhmá yir'át HaShém.
17 - mschannon
Ruvy, a born-again Christian arch conservative web-friend who I happen to like and respect a lot asked me to read this book about how God's hand was apparent in the founding of America. The two authors were Yale-educated and the book was well-written.
The problem with the book was what can only be called unconscious selective evidence. (In individuals, its unconscious selective recall.) They picked examples of when bad things happened after people fell from a state of grace and what good things happened when they regained it. But they ignored the good things happening to people who never met Grace & vice versa.
If one prays and lives a good life according to the laws of God, good things will happen to them. Sometimes bad things will happen. If someone lives a bad life, ignoring God, the same thing will happen.
There's an old philosophical theory called Occham's razor which states that the simplest explanation is the correct one. Also, an extraneous parts of a theory have no value to the theory.
Translated, everything one's experienced in life can be explained without God's intervention--hence there's no rational reason to include Him.
That doesn't mean He doesn't intervene. It just means it cannot be proven by rational methods, which, for religious people, should be a positive. If one could rationally define God, then He wouldn't be God.
And I haven't forgotten the quote--I'm just choosing another path.
(Damn, I wish we could sit down and talk for about 2 days--or 3 or 4. You should come visit the U.S. I'll even fall off the wagon so we can drink and be merry as we argue into the wee hours of the morning.)
In Decaf Veritas
18 - temporal
mark:
can you post this at desicritic also?
19 - mschannon
Temporal, absolutely, as soon as I figure out how.
20 - temporal
aaman will help you join and set up passwords etc.
have sent him an email
21 - Matt SUGRUE
my wife says I cant be a critic but Hello... Cabin boy was possibly the most underated film of the century
22 - Matt Sugrue
hope to trade opinions about all entertainment related coolness