We're going because I want my youngest son to experience living with a large family, with being able to hang out with a dozen cousins at once, to enjoy having that family reunion almost every day! He knows the problems there—after all, he spent four months there last year going to high school. But if you ask him, he's eager to go back. As poor as the schools are there, he prefers going to school in Manila, despite the fact that at the school where he's going, students are not allowed to date until they're 18! Why does he like the school so much? He said it was because they took their schoolwork much more seriously there...and because he's well-liked at the school; being the only white kid in an otherwise all-brown school tends to make one more noticeable. I knew somewhat how he felt, having attended a school once in Mississippi where out of 480 students, perhaps 20 of us were white.
He learned something else there, too: that as dirty and unsanitary as Manila certainly is, the Filipinos themselves are much cleaner than Americans. It's not only taking one's shoes off when going into the house. It's also taking showers twice, three times a day, and rinsing one's butt with water every time with a small bucket called a "tabo" whenever one uses the toilet.
There's a personal reason for going there, too. I've seen several nursing homes here stateside, and I told my sons long ago that if they decided to put me in a nursing home, to instead just take me out to the woods and leave me there. I cannot and will not allow myself to be sentenced to die in one of those places no matter how nice they are. Why? My wife's grandmother passed away in the family compound about eight years ago. She had spent her final years mostly blind, somewhat hard of hearing, and hardly able to move, largely restricted to a bed in an unventilated room...and there she would spend her days in the heat with perhaps a fan for cooling in the hot and humid Manila weather, hardly able to swat away the mosquitoes and other insects. Sounds miserable, right? But every single day, she could hear her children, her grandchildren, her great-grandchildren...whereas those in American nursing homes—even the high-end nursing homes—count themselves lucky if they see a family member or two once a month!
Article comments
1 - RJ
We used to have that kind of traditional, pro-family culture in the USA, too, until liberals like yourself did everything in their power to destroy it.
2 - Glenn Contrarian
Yes, we indeed had that kind of traditional, pro-family culture...until we had this thing called 'progress'. You know, where people began having enough money to buy homes somewhere else? If you'll look around the world, RJ, you'll find that third-world countries are almost ALWAYS quite conservative...and ALL first-world democracies are - by your definition - quite LIBERAL.
So why is that, RJ? Could it be that liberal values come only with the advent of economic opportunity?
In other words, RJ, you're speaking from a position of ignorance. The problems I listed with the Philippines are just scratching the surface - there's quite a few societal problems that I didn't list, that would not be conducive to the article as a whole. Very few people have the opportunity I have, and the family there is certainly better off than most.
Tell you what, RJ - go live in a third-world country of your choice. See the benefits of life there, but do not be so blind that you will miss the dangers and disadvantages as well.
3 - Realist
Yes, Glenn, why would you want to move to a third world country when our elected corporation-representing government is doing everything in their power to create one out of this nation? So much easier to kick back and let them deliver it right to your door!
4 - Audrey
I can certainly relate to your article. I'm not from the Philippines, but close by in South East Asia. The problem of corruption, dirty toilets, pollution, etc are all too common. I guess everywhere you live, you will have to take the good along with the bad.
5 - Emm
Note to self: finish eating lunch before reading another of Glen Contrarian's posts. The smoggy snot and comfort room descriptions had me gagging over my rice cakes.
Gagging aside, great post. As a serial expat who has lived more than two thirds of my life in the third world, I can absolutely, 100% relate. I'm living in London now but want to move somewhere warmer like Brisbane or Texas. Of course, I'd move back 'home' to South Africa in a wink if the crime situation was brough under control and I secretly want to move to Kosovo or Sarajevo.
6 - Jon Sobel
Great article. I was curious about your point about personal hygiene. We sometimes get advised here in the West that we take TOO MANY showers, that it's not good for our hair and skin to wash every day. Maybe Filipinos feel the need to compensate for dirty surroundings?
7 - Ian
Jon, if you spent some time in the Philippines, you would also feel the need to shower as often as possible. It has nothing to do with dirty surroundings, but a climate that is extremely hot an humid. Step out the door and you are instantly drenched in sweat.
I can understand Glenn's desire to finish off his days in this country. Having family there myself. I know what he means.
It's amazing how comments to Blogcritics have become so personal and mean spirited recently. Perhaps a return to commenting on content rather than the author would encourage more people to join in.
8 - Glenn Contrarian
Jon and Ian -
It's not just the showers and the humidity. It's strange, really - they're quite determined about their personal cleanliness and the insides of their houses which you'll find are normally quite clean as well...
...but their surroundings, perhaps it's because of the poverty that affects so many of them. I remember seeing older pictures and there was nothing like the trash I see now.
9 - Dr Dreadful
I remember seeing older pictures and there was nothing like the trash I see now.
Most likely because there was nothing like the ready availability of disposable consumer goods there is now.
10 - Glenn Contrarian
Doc -
But grinding poverty has a lot to do with it too. It's the same anywhere that there's so much poverty. I saw the same in Kenya, in Mexico (even though I only got as far as Tijuana)...heck, even in the MS Delta, but not quite as bad since the poverty isn't quite as bad.
11 - STM
Good story Glenn,
Tallies exactly with my experience of the Philippines. I can understand why you'd want to move. There are some pretty nice parts of Manila, too.
Also, note to Emm: If you've been living in London, Brisbane's not the go. It still feels like a small town even though it's not ... I think because it's so spread out. I like it, but I want to settle down and houses are cheaper than in Sydney and most of my family is in Queensland. Right now, it's a giant construction zone in many parts of Brisbane - that is, work that was going on pre-flood, and work post-flood.
I suggest Sydney instead ... it's only marginally colder in winter, mainly in the mornings and at night for a few months) but in summer it's just as hot and balmy and summer lasts about the same (long) time.
12 - Gayle
everything you said is right, smelly and dirty everywhere, deprived and impoverished..and yet the happiest times of life was when I was living in Manila. I am married w/ 3 kids, successful in my own right living here in LA but my goal is to someday go back home and raise my children there. both my husband and I are scared but we're hoping that one day, we'll just take the plunge! I hope you don't mind, how much $$$ do you think we'll need to raise a family of 5 and live really comfortably?
13 - Glenn Contrarian
That depends on what kind of standard of living you want to maintain. I can tell you that if you want to live what Americans think is a normal life, I just spent the past two months finding out that $3K won't be enough just for my wife and myself (if we try to live as we do in the States). BUT if you learn to live as the people here do - cutting corners whenever possible, buying food at the food stalls on the street rather than in the supermarket, keeping your electricity use to a minimum (it's at least 2X as expensive here than in the States), learning to use the local forms of transportation (jeepneys and tricycles (and walking!)) rather than using a car, and being careful to not go to the malls, you could do it for the same $3K I mentioned above...but add on however much you'll be paying for rent/lease. If you're really strict about your budgeting, you can do it for less than that.
I know this is four months after your question, but I hope this helps.