Hi Elsa,
There is this man who has been leading me on for some time. At first I didn't like him, but he pursued me so much, I became attracted. The catch? He told me has a girlfriend.
I pulled away, but he keeps flirting with me, giving me puppy dog eyes, and acting like he is in love with me. He obviously loves his girlfriend more.
I don't know what to do because I can't stop thinking about him. I feel like he has really treated me unfairly. Should I just not even try and be friends?
Wondering
Dear Wondering,
I am baffled as to what you think this guy did that was “unfair." I am also baffled as to why you think you’re so powerless. Let me read this back to you:
I didn’t like the guy, but he liked me so I liked him. He likes someone else, so I didn’t like him, but he still likes me. So I like him terrifically and I don’t know whether to like him or not!
Does that sound crazy to you? It sounds crazy to me, especially when the gal who wrote it is almost 30 years old! Look. The guy is a flirt. If you think his puppy dog eyes are funny, let him make them. If not, then tell him, “Take a flying leap, dipshit!” but for god sakes, get a grip.
People who act like they love you don’t love you. They are acting, remember? People who have girlfriends but engage other women are playing games on both ends. As to whether or not you want to be friends, it’s entirely up to you. What is your standard where friends are concerned? Does he meet them?
I think you have a Leo Moon and you like the attention and the drama, but Saturn is in Leo now and begs you to grow up with this stuff. I mean think about it. Are you going to be forty and have a man with puppy dog eyes?
Good luck.
Article comments
1 - LDF
I am in the same situation with a co-worker, except that we had been dating for about 8 months, had sex onces and it was horrible. I then left him alone, although we worked so closely together, it was hard for him to deal with the idea that I did not want to be evolved with him anymore. We had agreed in the beginning of our date, and one sexual encounter, that we would not bring our outside lives into work. To make a long story short, he saw me greeting, hugging, a older co-worker that I had not seen in sometime, and yell down the hall, in a school of 30 students and 13 staff members, "now that's your sugar daddy!" and became really agree with me. And then I find out a couple of days later, from a co-worker that he has a girlfriend that is 2 month pregnant. I was upset and mortified and didn't ever want to be around him again. But as the saying goes "don't shit where you eat" I knew better. To maintain the peace around the students, factuality, and mutual friends of ours, we've had a talk in order to maintain and preserve our friendship, even though it is hard and there is always sexual tension between us, as we still do flirt and both have other partners.