CW FISHER
The Janet Jackson breast fracas has little to do with what we're saying it has to do with. Certainly it's not about the "shock" of seeing a secondary sex gland tumble out accidentally on purpose, because that kind of shock goes away in less than a week. That kind of shock is mock shock. 9/11 is shock. Shock and Awe is shock. Saddam Hussein asking for an Oreo is shock.
What is shock, to me, is NPR discussing it. If it becomes a campaign issue I'm leaving the country.
What's so shocking? It wasn't even a bare breast – it was probably just a clever rollout of the next big thing – nipple shields.
Nipple Shields, the product, not the former child star, will be destined to replace the thong, which should be done every 3,000 miles anyway.
We had fair warning. Justin Timberlake bragged the whole time on stage that he was going to have her naked before the song was over. He was nowhere close. But his smooth move with the hand was actually just a depiction of what society once called sexual assault. Why is Justin Timberlake getting Grammys while Janet Jackson is barred from the same event (in what society once called shunning)?
Why is Grammy barring anybody? And what exactly is the FCC "investigating?" Whether it was Janet's idea? I thought that was already decided. Janet, channeling Jason's hand, ripped her own bodice.
He walks off stage bragging. She says it was an accident, then makes an amateur video apology in a depressed state and I'm left wondering why these kids ever stopped listening to Mr. Jackson, Joe, the father. Here's the original weird-looking dude — his head looks like a very large shrunken head with painted-on eyebrows. But damn, if Joe ran things... and his breasts are enormous.
Article comments
1 - BB
Hillarious CW! I've always thought Joe Jackson looked like that shrunken head on Beetle Juice. The Jacksons? It must run in the family.
2 - Dawn
Good fun CW, nice insight!!
3 - Eric Olsen
Important thoughts presented with humor - very nice CW, thanks!
4 - Lisa
I agree that humor is the way to deal with the touchy political topics that need to be discussed these days- very fun to read. Thanks CW!
5 - David Conrad
What an empty-headed rant. The only thing disturbing about the event has been people's reactions to it. Two lines jumped out at me.
"a depiction of what society once called sexual assault."
I certainly hope society never called a planned costume change by performers on stage a sexual assault. To refer to this in those terms is to ignore the role that informed consent plays in sexual ethics, unless you believe that what happened was nonconsentual -- and I cannot believe anyone could be that naive.
"Janet, channeling Jason's hand, ripped her own bodice."
Take away the sarcasm from that line and you're left with the truth. Only Jackson could have arranged to have a tear-away top. Her remarks afterward clearly indicate that it was planned. So, for all intents and purposes, she did rip her own bodice.
6 - Mac Diva
David, Curt writes humor. Perhaps this isn't his best effort, but the entry is not intended to be taken seriously.
The 'sexual assault' angle has been parsed by my blog friend Lauren over at Feministe. I have mixed feeling about that analysis, but you might find it an interesting read.
BTW, can you post the URL for your blog? I've found your comments interesting (you know things) and would like to read more.