Dear Elsa,
After more than two years, I'm finally reaching a crisis point with a woman in my husband's life.
My husband began their relationship in secret, and though it was non-sexual, it did have romantic overtones. It morphed into her representing him as an agent, and because she works obsessively to promote him, he's finally enjoying success in his field.
I felt betrayed and was shocked that he would bring someone into our lives that was so openly disrespectful to me. He ignored all of my questions, so I broke into his e-mails and voicemails because I didn't know whether or not he was cheating on me. After a long year of him yelling at me to stay out of his business, we sought counselling. Now we're closer than ever.
But because she's the only agent in town, she's still in the picture. There have been harrassing e-mails, voicemails and public scenes, and she does her best to discredit me and my entire existence to her friends, to my husband, and to my face. It's no secret to anyone that she's in love with my husband and wants to be his primary relationship. This means that she will go to any and all lengths to exclude me from his books, public functions, and his career.
There is nothing I would like more in this world than to have a rational conversation with her face to face to address her obsession with me, but that will never happen. I reached out to her a few months back and asked her to help me with a peaceful relationship between she and I, to which she agreed...to my face. Behind my back, she threw tantrums to my husband demanding that I stay out of his business.
I am at my wit's end for how to continue to deal with such a huge degree of disrespect for my position as his wife. I've tried therapy, meditation, medication, yoga, deep breathing, and punching pillows in trying to deal with this.
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