places some portion of the world in jeopardy. — John Dewey
Did I get yer attention?
Good. Bear with me for a minute or two. Tetris can wait, can't it?
I had to do an 'end of the year list', (for no other reason than to piss you off) — but in my irritating obsession with "wanting to be different", I also had to make it a dozen — as opposed to the standard "Top 10" found among writers who have much more discipline when it comes to cutting up their babies and leaving them in boxes beside the information highway.
I know that like all Americans, you suffer from ADD, which means that whether it's 22 dead in Mosul — or a quick glimpse at a breast during the Super Bowl, your tiny cotton candy brain can only process a finite amount of information for a few seconds at a time before it jettisons the current 'thought' and moves on to the next smash-cut MTV-like commercial or "news flash" about the latest celebrity murderer.
(Hell, half the U.S.A. could be obliterated in a nuclear bomb, but within fifteen minutes, you'd be seeing commercials for Viagra in between the views of smoldering cities tearfully described by Katie Couric.)
Remember after 9/11?
"Can we ever laugh again?"
"Can we ever smile again?"
"Will we ever allow ourselves a frivolous moment in the face of 3000 dead, innocent Americans?"
You've gotta be kiddin' me.
Your typical American can lose a close family member, and within 20 minutes, they're being interviewed on CNN, looking for an agent, cutting a book deal, and acting like they just misplaced their car keys.
Memory loss apparently has its advantages — but I'm here to remind you what the Year Of Our Lord 2004 was all about. One only has to do a quick perusal of Shark's total entries for the year to see highlights of every major 'cultural' event for the last twelve months.
For about fiftteen minutes, each of the following events dominated our lives as if our very survival depended on a full understanding of their importance. And as each "significant" moment was erased by the Next Big Thing vomited up by the collective Whore of Babylon known as "The Media", it was quickly replaced by another "Next Big Thing" — so pay attention — and um... get out your credit cards.