Can total hysterectomy kill the joy of sex? Maybe, maybe not.
The article Total Hysterectomy Can Kill The Joy Of Sex is a bit dry and academic, but it still made for a good read. Apparently, removal of the cervix after a hysterectomy can inhibit the sexual experience for women. Sometimes doctors remove a healthy cervix during hysterectomy in the event that the organ may become cancerous in the future. I don't agree with surgically removing perfectly healthy organs because they might become cancerous sometime in the future.…
Article comments
— go to most recent comments76 - MM
I had a hysterectomy in 2005 June at the age of 25 and it was performed as the last resort to save my life. If it was not for a negligent Gynae my life would not have been under threat to start off with. My advice is to NOT EVEN CONSIDER IT unless you are on life support(which was my situation) and about to go 6 feet underground. The emotional turmoil afterwards is exhausting and it also leaves a woman feeling insecure. I still wonder it I feel the same as before when my husband is inside me.I always have to use lubrication during sex and its just annoying.
Some Dr's just want the money..remember that, its a money making scheme.
77 - Jennifer
I had my hysterectomy in January 2005. I had huge fibroids, endo, cysts, anemia and totally awful periods. I thought my life was a living hell. Couldn't wait for the relief the Dr's promised me that would come after the surgery. I am still waiting. Dryness, pain, weight gain, I can go on and on. My husband is great, he tries not to push me but I know it gets old for him. I tried hormones for awhile but as we all know they don't want you on them for long. Hot flashes are miserable, but are getting better, I don't have them one on top of the other now. I adore my husband, but I can't summon the interest in our sex life. Why do I want to do something that hurts? I havn't had an orgasm since the surgery. They took everything, I had hoped to keep at least one ovary. When I asked the Dr. about sex after..I was told your husband will really like it, you will be tighter. Tighter heck I feel like I don't want a pencil in there let alone anything larger. I am angry because I think there is an attitude with the Dr's that well you have some problems and the this will solve them. What they don't tell you is that it creates a whole new set. I wasn't prepared for this. I feel like every woman who is contemplating this needs to be told all of this, I certainly wasn't and I am not sure that I would have made the same choice. I am 37 now, and feel like I am too young to be feeling the way that I do. At least before my hyst. I was able to have sex without the pain. To me it was a trade.... I thought I would get a better quality of life, instead I just traded one set of problems for another.......and these directly affect my marriage. He tries to be understanding but how far does that go? How do you explain that when he enters me it feels like something is tearing, and that is with the lubricant. Forget spontaneous affection there is no way I am doing anything without my trusty bottle and that doesn't even help that much. Does anyone have any suggestions? I am very unhappy with my choice to have this done. I feel like I wasn't informed as to the ramifications of it. I was led to believe this would solve all the problems I was having.
78 - loner
hello came across the blog and i just want to share iyr experience my wife and i went through the same ordeal on may2005 it took her some time to recover, since it was a total hys with the removal of everything, Doc did not touch or fold any external parts. she was instructed to follow a medication for hormones first it was evista then since the long time effects wrere not very much liked and then she went to levial and now novenber 2007 she is following a herbal treatment. It took us a rather long time to bring her uo to par she is (or apperas) to enjoy oursexlife she has no side effects on and off her mood changes but in general she is doing ok what i am trying to say ( since i am not a doctor,i did not have the surgery,nor did i experience the sence of losing something very important to my sere existence,)is try some kind of different medication, love and effection, lubricants used with tenderness and in a form of foreplay may work, speak to the doctor or better yet find someone else,and above all REALAX dont push it the more you get anxious the whorse it gets our experience shows that it took us some time about 6 months or something more but finally we are there but we went through together and we try different methods
79 - Patti
as someone commented earlier i would urge anyone having problems after a hysterectomy to seek out NHRT (natural hormone replacement therapy) as opposed to HRT (hormone replacement therapy), the standard hormone replacement made from horse urine. with NHRT your hormone levels can be tested through a simple saliva test and custom made for your body.
the NHRT bioidentical hormones are just that, they are identical to the hormones you are supposed to have in your body and not just a sorta kinda close like HRT.
moods swings, lack of sex drive, depression and feelings of anxiety can all be side effects of having a hormone imbalance. if your doctor does not want to work with you to get you on them, find another one who will work with you and who really cares about your well being.
you get bioidentical hormones from compounding pharmacies. they may be able to provide you with a list of doctors who have experience prescribing NHRT.
good luck and try not to worry, having the right hormone replacement really does make all the difference in the world :)
80 - Donna
Help
I HAD A Hysterectomy 10 days ago and last night had a few to many wines and had sex(didnt finish and didnt penertrate me completely) im so scared that i have done something wrong to my self please has any one else done this
81 - Sherree
Hi all,
I had a hysterectomy 8 months ago at the age of 31 due to cancer and am a little concerned about how uncomfortable intercourse is at times. I have not lost any of my sexual drive, it's still as rampant as ever, but it can be scary to think that there may be something wrong again... I constantly thinking that cancer will pop up somewhere else and I'm not sure if thats the reason I am so cranky all the time or that I'm going through early menopause (still have my ovaries) would appreciate it if anyone that has experienced the same issues could help me out. Thanks.
82 - tracyc
my wife has lost interest in me after her op more than a year ago. it make me want to die. she has lost all drive and dosn't recognize my drive any more. whatever you do get a secound opinion. I feel doomed to disapointment and don't want my sex life to end, she on the other hand could care less, and she acts as though she dosn't know what sex is.
83 - normal man
go to hers.com to get more information. while hysterectomy may work for some, especially if needed to save lives, for many many more it changes lives. my wife had her operation 4-5 years ago. intimacy and sex go out the window over time. ladies do your agressive homework and beware of doctors selling snake oil. young women talked into this unnecessarily will most likely end up with unhappy mates who masterbate for any sex or worse leave for sex with someone else.
84 - Chi
I had the Total Hysterectomy in June. Been a bit of a rough road but in my situation well worth every moment and mood swing. I have gained weight, but am losing it now slowwwwly. Surgery is a major ordeal and we can't expect ourselves to jump back overnight. Takes some time to recover after you have so much removed and muscles cut on. I anger much faster and easier now, so I have to keep it in check as much as possible. That is a major difference for me (the anger quickly part). Did take premarin till I found out what it was made from and that just turned my stomach completely, going back to Dr to have long talk about that. Havent taken anything in the way of hormones for several weeks now. Dr has been booked up so the wait is aggravating. But I see no difference in myself on it or off it. So maybe it wasn't working anyway. Who knows. Sex drive was diminished before the surgery due to painful intercourse. And up until this point hadn't even had the urge to entertain the idea let alone have sex, but that is also slowly changeing. I agree with several people here, do not opt for the surgery unless you are actually in dire need of it. Complications and inconviences do rear their ugly head. Complications being abcesses and blood clots, inconviences being night sweats, mood swings, hot flashes, vaginal dryness and weight gain. These were my problems anyway. But if faced with it again I would do all over. It has made a vast improvement on my life. I am finally no longer in pain.
85 - hope?
I'm 29 and had a partial hyst 6 wks ago.
I've only been married for 7months, so when my doc gave us the all clear we TRIED to resume "normal activity." It was quite uncomfortable for me and a little painful. Now (too late!) I'm reading a lot of information that doesn't sound promising. I have 2 questions > 1)does this get better with time? 2)Did anyone's doctor advise them that this could be the outcome? I did some of my own research before surgery, but it never occured to me to Google "Pain." Everything and everyone was so positive. And I trusted my doctor to "first do no harm."
86 - normal man
in answer to #85's post. for us it started out ok, went into it slow and because i beleive nerve damage was done with my wifes uterus and cervix removal her sex drive nose dived to NONE. she never had high sex drive to begin with. as i posted before we gradually have less and less and now it doesn't happen anymore, 4-6 times per year after 4 to 5 years. now it is painful for my wife and her vagina is beginning to atrophy, when she is in pain with intercourse it blocks my urge and enjoyment and therefore no sex. in answer to your second question we were told the same as everyone else "oh the sex will be great" my wife jumped on this and i wanted to do more checking but was overruled. since that time i have done extensive research and now understand what has happened to her. she has mounting health issues due to a completely shunted endocrine system. my research has found that women will not share this openly with others, therefore doctors can still rule and "lie" about the facts. the medical establishment should be required to disclose that after ANY hysterectomy operation the long term implications that you have a less than 30 percent chance to expect positive physical results. unless you have life threatening circumstances castration of a women without complete disclosure and legal consent should be made criminal offenses. i've found that the sites promoting hysterectomy as a god send to women is written by the medical community. it amounts to trust in our medical system and that is disappearing as people become educated. lastly, if you want to stay healthy keep away from doctors. once you start on the cycle of medical intervention your spiral to poor health begins. just my answers and opinions.
87 - Lisa
Hi,I just had a hysto 2 weeks ago and I am very glad I did, I hated SEX before the surgary and Now I love it my husband said I need to slow down and take it easy but I just cant help it, I feel like I did when I was back in my early 20's. I had sex early and that was a no no but I had the orgasem and it was great. I think each person is diffrent and not every one is going to feel the same. For me I new this is something I wanted and no one was going to tell me any diffrent, you know your owen body so ther for you souldent go by what other people say good or bad. The way i looked at It sex Hurt so I didnt want it and if after the hysto I couldent enjoy it than I wasnt losing nothing but the pain now I have double the pleasuer no pain and I enjoy sex with my love of my life. God bless all of you and good luck in what you seek.
88 - joe
Hello my name is Joe I'm 46 my wife is 43. My wife had a hyterectomy about 6 months ago.Cervix and overies were left intact. She was not what you would call hot for sex before the surgury. And now she acts like she is not even interseted at all. I do good to get a peck on the cheek or a hug and that is only if I do it first. One of her comments I heard her make a comment to a friend who was getting ready to have the same operation was you can live without it it's not like it's a nessisity. So what do I do? Will this be it for our sex life? Or will things change? Is this normal? I'm trying to be understanding. I love my wife but I afraid that our sex life has about had it. Any suggestions
89 - normal man
in response to joe and his questions as i've indicated in past posts we now don't have a sex life. i'm sorry to hear of your wifes disposition over this and i know of your dilema as this is my wife's attitude as well. (we are mid 50's) go to "hers.com" for ongoing discussions of womens attitudes over what has happened to them. many women are totally in agony over what has happened to them and fearful of their personal relationship suffering with the husband or boyfriend. while things may seem normal after surgery time is the enemy. we are 5 yrs+ post surgery partial /ovaries left. even if they leave ovaries when they do the removal of the uterus nerve damage is the result, most likely because of poor doctor skill and then if skills are good no guarantee nerves won't suffer damage anyway. the nerve damage results in only partial or much reduced ovarian function. my wife has no energy, no thyroid function(removed), no desire for social interaction, no feelings for intimacy, NO sex drive,NONE, hot flashes, flare-up tempers, no stamina, backaches, huge weight gain. I live with her because I love her and we've been married for nearly 35 years. we still sleep together but she complains about it but won't let me go into the spare bedroom. we are on the edge of retirement and without her i would not be able to retire(finances)and instead be resigned to work until nearly 70 and she is my best friend. i've contemplated affairs (just for sex)but this would be a mental devastating situation for both of us. i would love to give you more positive feedback encouragement but from my experience i can't. looking back if i had the knowledge now i would have insisted my wife get multiple opinions and if she would have refused i would have divorced her then. at least it would have given me the extra time to try to rebuild my life. it's not just the sex, if intimacy is removed from marriage it has a slow devastating effect and leads to a more brother/sister type relationship. when i read that these procedures are performed on young women(20's & 30's)and they don't understand the organ functions a very disabling physical and psychological end result occurs. it has the effect of destroying a part of your life.
90 - nikki
I had a hysterectomy 4 weeks ago. Messed up and had sex. The sex was awesome. My question is did I mess up anything down there since I did not wait the full six weeks.
91 - Dion
Has anyone ever had or heard of a cervix transplant? I have had a partial hysterectomy in 2001 for multiple reasons. My husband at the time told me that I may not want to go through with it, because I may find someone in the future when he passes away to have children with. Well, that time has come and I want so bad to give my new husband a child of his own. I wanted to have another child before I turn 40. I am just curious to know if there is such a thing called a cervix transplant? I do have both my ovaries still. Any help would be soooo greatly appreciated.
92 - bitethebeef
For me, there are complex anger issues that come into play.
Before I met my husband, I had always enjoyed an active sex life. Being unable to achieve orgasm through masturbation, I expected that when I married I would be able to rely on my husband for pleasure. At the start of our relationship, when everything was new and fresh, I tried to set the stage for lots of love and sharing.
I was the one with the high sex drive. Unfortunately, he was withholding. Even though I didn’t have enough love from him, I always remained faithful. I wanted more children, more sex, more closeness, more conversation, and more say in our relationship. I basically wanted to experience our love to the fullest. He is a very good man, but he treated me badly because he rejected my requests for sex when I was relying on him. I don’t know why he didn’t want me. I took very good care of myself, stayed thin and attractive for him, used excellent hygiene. I cooked, cleaned, treated his family well, rubbed his back, anything he asked of me-I put him first. Maybe I was too forward with him and he thought I was assertive with other men too. It is possible that he didn’t realize that my love for him was special and only for him.
I used to have many ideas about things we might try. He didn’t want to experiment, so we didn’t. I felt disregarded. His constant rejection hurt me. We had sex when he wanted to, and when he was finished, then the sex act was over. I gave lots of oral sex and it was not reciprocated. I saw one of those talk shows where the host explained that the woman should ask the man to pleasure her because otherwise he would not know what she wanted. I came right out once, told him I was not done yet, and asked if he could help. He helped momentarily but made faces as if he was extremely bored and put out with me. Come to think of it, maybe I wasn’t really enjoying sex that much before the surgery. I would have liked to though, back when there was still the potential for orgasm and enjoyment.
I feel different now physically. It is not possible for me to have orgasms from sexual intercourse. I really don’t know if it is because of the post surgery pain, or if it is because something inside me died a long time ago or I forgot how to feel pleasure. Intercourse is extremely painful.
The irony of it all is that before I had the operation, I could never reach orgasm through masturbation-only through intercourse. Now the opposite is true. I have been blessed and given a wonderful gift I had wanted all my life. It is so easy; all I have to do is flex my stomach muscle. I could do it with all my clothes on.
This is what makes me angry about the whole thing. After the surgery when intercourse was painful and I was no longer able to gain physical enjoyment from him, he began wanting sex and complaining about the lack of it. I think if he had taken care to please me before the surgery, I would have done likewise for him afterwards.
We could have been having sex, connecting, and showing our love to each other instead of simply existing in the same space for all those years.
I don’t feel guilty at all for denying sex. He denied me for no reason when things were fresh and new and there was no resentment.
I had my days of giving sex for nothing in return. Sex is physically painful now. I am not in the mood. Intercourse does nothing for me now. We didn’t build a caring loving sharing relationship with each other prior to the surgery, so there isn’t much for us to build on now. I think we will eventually divorce.
Obviously, I have mixed feelings about my hysterectomy. I am extremely thankful to be alive after having cancer. When I was told I had cancer, my main priority shifted from my husband and turned to my children. I just wanted them to be raised- Maybe it was God’s way of helping me to quit focusing so much on sex. Now, I can focus on things that are more important.
93 - G. W.
I have had partial hysteectomy 6 months ago. I had to have one because I was suddenly faced with stage 3 cervical cancer. I had 2 biopsies and my doctor "thought he got it all" but that wasn't good enough for me. I wanted to make sure that it was all gone! Thank GOD I was cured!!!!!
I asked my gynecologist if there was going to be any differences on my sex life or how it would feel, because he is a man he said he didn't know about it because he was not a woman!
I can tell you there is sure a difference in my sex drive, it is not what it used to be. I was a very sexual person but now I feel hardly any stirring at all. Not to mention that when I do have sex, my vagina has been shortened so much that it gets hit alot. That is not a good thing to feel or worry about during sex. I used to be multi orgasmic, now I hardly can get one to come at all! I am glad to be alive don't get me wrong, I could be dying or dead from that cancer, but I wished I would have been told or had some resources given to me about what might happen after! How I would feel differently as a woman and how differently sex would be. Now I just have to adjust to my new sex life and hope over time it might get better.
94 - G.W.
I have forgoten quite a few other things that wasn't told to me and that I forgot to put in my last opinion.
I was only 37 years old at the time when I was diagnosed. I was so scared because I had to go through with the same thing with my mother who have had and beaten cervical cancer but in the end it was VULVULAR CANCER that had killed her. I never knew that there were different cancers that a woman can get on the outside of her vagina!
The other things that weren't told to me was the PAIN I WOULD HAVE TO ENDURE AFTER SURGERY!!!!!!
Not just from the laposcopic vaginal delivery hysterectomy but from the cervical cone biopsy that was done. You definately are aware of your body parts then!!! The agonizing pain, not being able to lay flat in a bed, I had to be propped up with alot of pillows to sleep comfortably. And the discarge also was horrible it went on for 3 weeks.
Since the doctor checked my ovaries and tubes they were clear of cancer so he left them in. I still experience PMS every month. The only good thing after the hysterectomy was I was cured and that I started early menopause symptoms (night sweats, hot flashes)now it seems they have disappeared after the surgery.
I wanted to give my expereince so other women that are facing or dealing with cervical cancer that they are not alone, and I wish I stumbled on to this website BEFORE my surgery. But at least I know I'm not the only one going through these problems.
The other thing I would like to add about lyposcopic hysterectomy is that I have 5 small scars at naval level. If I knew that they were going to be that high I would have oppted for a regular incision because it is way lower near the hairline.
95 - ML
I am so sorry for all of you ladies who have had such a nightmare regarding your hysterectomies.
I had my Total Hysterectomy when I was 34 yrs. old. 17 yrs ago. OMG, I can't believe I am saying that. 17 yrs ago! Wow!
It was the best thing that had happened to me physically and sexually.
Emotionally is was a horrid situation.
I had precancerous cells, severe adnomyosis, fibroids, HPV, endomietrosis, sorry about the spelling...and too much ill-regular bleeding... you name it, I had it... etc.
My sex has never been better! I still have very intense orgasms. My freedom is better, physically and mentally...(Not worrying about pregnancies, etc.) No more painful periods. I love not having the physical pain and enjoying my husband's love making skills.
I have been on HRT since my complete hysterectomy. I am blessed that to this day, I do not have breast cancer, nor vaginal cancer.
Emotionally, as I said above was horrid.
I never could have children, I have had too many miscarriages. The lost of my 'female-hood ' and what society does to you regarding not having/ or being able to have children and NOT being a complete woman is so sad and pathetic! I wanted children more than anything. I allowed all of that to get the best of me and went into a terrible depression. With counseling and support I was able to get through that period.Fellow women who have had this life changing experience...Please get some help, don't stifle yourself. You deserve the best! And I think it was only by the grace of my spirituality that I got through it. And I am very grateful for the joy that I recieve each and every day for being alive.
PS To the Men, please don't push your woman to making love right after the surgery. Even months after, even 6 months or so after...I know it may be difficult, but patience is a virtue. You can hang in there too. There are different alternatives. :-)
I wish you all the best in your recovery. Your health is No. 1!! Please don't forget that. My recovery after my hysterectomy was long...But I am so much better now. Please be gentle with yourself and get some help if need be. Take care.
96 - Gwen Mangelson
I had a total hysterectomy plus ovary removal in January of 2008. I am glad. Before it I didnt have a lot of sex drive due to my hormone imbalance caused by nonproductive ovaries etc. but Now I have NO sex "drive" at all. It has nothing to do with orgasm ( I can still do that) I am not "dry" nor is there any pain- I just plain dont have the "feelings or drive" to want to have sex- I would love some resourses, I am not a fan of testosterone I am on premarin and feel fine but would like some reading resources on getting the "drive" back and I am sure my hubby would be happy as well!
thanks
97 - normal man
In response to Gwen's comment "I am glad". Wonder what her husband thinks? Before she had low sex drive now she has none. My wife has NO, NONE, GONE sex drive. No positive results can be acheived from this unless a couple doesn't value an intimate relationship. Ladies and men too, do the research there are no known solutions to getting back lost organ function. When I hear of those who urge patience I wonder how long. Mine is going on 6+ years. Patience is now lost and the relationship is just existing with no feeling. How depressing.
98 - Giggles
I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy in July, 2007. I had Uterine Prolapse and so when my uterus wanted to come out, it was pulling on my bladder and bowels too. I also had cysts on my ovaries. So I had the uterus and ovaries removed, plus had bladder and bowel repair surgery at the same time. I feel better BUT . . I used to be crazy about sex and loved it; after the surgery, Sex,it was excruciatingly painful! OMG! I didn't know why until I read all your comments. But I am still able to experience orgasms. My husband is very patient and understanding and we are trying to work our way back, slowly but surely, we are trying a number of things. And maybe it will just take some more time. Everyone is different and each has different outcomes. Although Sex is a Plus in a relationship it doesn't MAKE the relationship. There is much more to it than that. But having support and patience from your partner can mean everything. I know that I made the right decision, but I was not ready for the results that I got, for the SEX part of it. So I will just keep on trying, and keep my faith and be happy just waking up everyday to see Beauty in this world. They don't call me Giggles for nothing. I am a true Optimist.
99 - EHRIN
i had that before. and i could have sex and i felt really sad.i miss when my boy frien just to put his penuts up my vagina. now i have sex every day and I ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT.
100 - GT
Talk to your doctor or a compounding pharmacist about yam-based progesterone as an alternative to the Premarin HRT. It helped me a LOT with pain, mood swings, headache and erratic sex drive. It is also much safer to be on for prolonged periods of time (I have been on it 4-5 years now). Do NOT get it off the shelf from a health food store or Wal-Mart; it is not regulated the way a prescription is so you won't know what dose you're getting. (Plus if you have drug coverage, you _want_ a prescription.) I've gotten mine from Glebe Apothecary in Ottawa, Canada, and Ford's Pharmacy in Moncton, Canada. Most cities have a compounding pharmacy but there are also plenty on the internet that you can special order from.
101 - Raven
I have an 8.3 cm fibroid tumor and have discussed with my doctor about having it removed. We have talked yesterday about removing it and also about doing a complete hysterectomy. Doing so will guarantee that another fibroid doesn’t return but from everything I have been reading since I first learned about the fibroid, there are no guarantees my sex life will remain healthy.
I do not want to loose my sex drive. I enjoy having sex with my husband. I am 46 years old and do not plan for having more children and a lot of women are encouraging me to do a complete hysterectomy. All of the women but one have low sex drives and could care less whether or not they have sex. I’m not that way. My husband and I have a phenomenal sex life and wish to keep it that way. This is one of the reasons why I chose not to do anything about my fibroid tumor nine years ago when I first learned I had it. I don’t have a choice now; it has to be removed but if doing a complete hysterectomy changes how I feel sexually then I just want to have the tumor removed.
Is there any information out there that lists the chances of a fibroid tumor returning? I would like to know the percentage of women who have had one return after surgery to remove the first.
102 - normal man
To Raven: You are a very smart lady. You and your husband are very smart to research this to no end. Go to (hers.com) for more details. DO NOT TRUST MOST OB/GYN doctors/surgeons. They have ruined my wife, needless to say our intimate relationship. We no longer have a sex life nearly 6 years post op. Also, if you enjoy sex now, beware, you have less than a 30 percent chance after hysterectomy any normal sexual relations will return. There are doctors who will treat the tumors without hysterectomy. A female friend of mine had an abelation for small tumors and irregular bleeding. She has a sex drive in high gear, her hubby gets tired trying to keep up. She also turned down a hysterectomy and is glad she did. There are no known medications, herbs, vitamins, supplements that will return your sexual function to normal after (castration). For the sake of your relationship tell your doctor or doctors you value your life to much to let him take 2/3's of it away. We didn't and it's been a living hell for me and the wife. My wife denies the hysterectomy effects, but she is no longer able to actively enjoy life. Your husband is a lucky guy to have you care so much about this important part of the relationship. Wish I could turn back the clock.
103 - Barbara
HELP! HELP! Has anyone found a way to increase feeling and regain sexual enjoyment?
I wish I had found this site before I had my Hysterectomy Nov. 06. I had a total hysterectomy including tubes and ovaries. The Hysterectomy has stolen my enjoyment of making love with my husband. I use to have fantastic multiple orgasms, now I can't feel hardly anything. It's been almost two years, and I keep hoping it will get better, if anything it is getting less enjoyable.
I don't know if the Premerin has anything to do with it. The Dr. wants me off the hormone, I have been cutting back the dosage and only taking it every other day.
I am so angry with my Dr. for not explaining possible consequences and to find out that about 70% of women have complications is outrageous. I also wonder why all the women I asked that I knew had had Hysterectomies told me it was the best thing they ever did.
It's all I think about wishing I could go back in time and make a different choice. It could be worse if I had dryness and pain. I feel very sorry for the women experiencing those problems as well. My mind is willing but my body is not responding.
Just like Bev #41. Previously multi-orgasmic, strong uterine contractions, overwhelming climaxes. Now... the desire is in my head... but the body does not follow. Following our reasonable effort to stimulate, the climax is hard to achieve and very little at best. Perhaps 5% feeling and release of what I used to have. I am very saddened by this surgery outcome. I hope things improve as the months pass.
I totally agree with Jodi #18. I can understand if a woman was in a Lot of pain before a hysterectomy, sex would naturally be better. But I was not in That kind of pain and I lost the wonderful uterine contractions that I had. Sexual feeling definitely went down hill. Sex basically feel like a "blip" right now. I also feel more depressed and empty that I can possibly ever say. Why don't doctors tell you this? Maybe going on HRT will change some of this - Please God.
Please, Please, Please unless it really seems like a life-threatening situation - Think it over
Ree Ree # 21... DO NOT DO THE PROCEDURE DO NOT DO IT ! PLEASE YOU CANT BELIEVE HOW COMPLICATED THIS SURGERY AND THE AFTER EFFECTS ARE HORRIBLE DO NOT DO IT PLEASE...
IF YOU WANT TO SCREW UP YOUR SEX LIFE, THIS IS A WAY TO DO IT. IT IS NOT WORTH IT.!!! YOU CAN GET THE FIBROID REMOVED ANOTHER WAY AND PRESERVE THE UTERUS!!! THE UTERUS IS WHERE IT IS AT DURING SEX! CAN YOU GROW ANOTHER UTERUS!!! IT IS AN ORGAN! CAN YOU GET A UTERUS TRANSPLANT?!! HELLO!! I WISH I NEVER DID IT AND THE SURGEON WHO DID IT DID A GREAT JOB BUT DID NOT TELL ME THAT MY SEX LIFE WOULD BE SEVERELY AFFECTED... IF YOU DON'T NEED IT THEN DON'T HAVE IT DONE.
104 - Caroline
I had my Op in 2006 and I enjoy it more than before I am always wet especially when I thnk about Sex . Please ladies try to relax and stop panic
105 - uk
i think alot of comments being made here are alarmist,just down right perv,and shows alot of ignorance of some on here
i', having a hst soon and cant wait and i know my husband will love me regardless
106 - Lynn D.
I had a hysterectomy in August 2004 because of the presence of fibroid tumors. They grew to the size of a 16-wk old fetus. I also had painful periods, very heavy bleeding, anemia. I did a lot of research, including on my dr.'s experience and credentials. I am now 46 yrs old. For me, it was the best decision I have ever made. However, I can't speak on the sex life because I am now divorced and celibate since '04. All I can say is that I didn't have any dryness when I had sex with my husband after the surgery. Regarding the inability of having a vaginal orgasm, I had never had an orgasm through sex anyway so if I never have one I wouldn't know what I missed. I've only had them through oral sex and manual manipulation. I didn't feel any difference after the surgery in terms of my sex drive, which was normal. I couldn't wait until the 6 weeks was over. My husband and I did have oral sex during the 6-week period since we were newlyweds, even in the hospital room briefly when the nurse wasn't in the room. He started to feel sleepy afterwards because the pain killers from my system got in his. (sorry too much information, lol)
I do feel cheated sometimes now that I'm divorced and do not have to use birth control, no periods or excruciating cramps, I'm feeling good about myself, child away in college, and do not have a husband to share my life with. Unlike some women, I haven't gained an extraaordinary amount of weight, still have a sex drive but just choose to concentrate on other things right now. If you or someone you know is considering a hysterectomy, I can only speak from my own experience. I feel the same as I did before the surgery -- minus the cramps and other medical problems. (Honestly I can say that my hair on my right side is thinner but I'm taking hair vitamins for that.) Since it is a major surgery, I would suggest that you consider all of your surgical or non-surgical options because everyone's situation is different. I had an awesome doctor who was patient with me and had lots of experience in performing this kind of surgery. I'd recommend her to anyone who was considering one.
107 - Lynn D.
Just wanted to add that I still have my ovaries and cervix. A friend of mine also had fibroids but she waited and waited until they grew quite large. Because of the size of her fibroids, they had to cut her vertically instead of the bikini cut. And her dr. removed her cervix (and ovaries) so that she won't have to worry about getting cervical cancer.
108 - normal man
I've been away for awhile and just read the recent post by UK which was posted in early Oct. I agree with only one thing she said. I do still love my wife, only it is very different now. Our marriage went sexless...none..none, so how should a husband feel. My wife ridiculed me when I questioned the procedure and indicated it could possibly have adverse sexual effects. The doctor laughed and said it would be great! If I'm an alarmist or perverted, sorry. I didn't think that at 51 our sex life would end. IT DID. If you castrate a man he loses sexual desire, same with a woman. Most doctors who perform these surgeries are in it for the money and lack compasion for patient caring. Hopefully you won't suffer, but its a game of roulette.
109 - Sherrie
I'm 46 and had a hysterctomy in 2007. I am single, no children, and didn't want to do this if at all possible. I waited for nine years before going through with this. I had an ovarian cyst w/3 lbs of fluid in it, tons of fibroids, the other ovary was messed up too, and my periods started to remind me of car accident scenes. The month before my surgery I had THREE massive periods. It was gross. I had a great surgeon who specialized in cancer (which I did not have) and difficult surgeries. I was not in pain, just a lot of discomfort from all the junk inside of me. So I waited the six weeks after the surgery to see if I was going to suffer from vaginal dryness, ha ha. It was SO not the case! Going on nearly two years, and I am able to reach orgasm SO much easier (and quicker) and they are just as intense, if not more so. By the way, I read Dr.Oz's book You, The Patient and peppered my doctors with all kinds of questions. I thought I would miss my menstrual cycle but I don't, and now I know why other women said I wouldn't miss it! I don't advocate having a hysterectomy unless FULLY INFORMED, and you have PEACE about it. Vet your doctors, don't settle for anybody, and don't ALLOW your husband or family to pressure you. Just my two cents!
110 - Sherrie
I also have a vertical scar but I got over it...the staples made more of a mark than the scalpel did! I did not put anything on it (per doctors' orders) and after a few months started rubbing Royal Jelly Milk Balm on it, which is the greatest stuff for skin healing. Good luck!
111 - mare
can a women still get a yeast infection after a hysterectomy?
112 - Laura
I just had a vaginal hyst on the 15th of this month, nothing like I thought it was going to be. I am only 27, I have 2 kids which is all I ever wanted, so this was pretty much a gift. I mean considering I had my tubes tied right after my daughter was born, I was 22, and still had to take birth control. The dr didn't just go in and agree to it, but there were other problems too. Anyways, I have got to say that it has been what like 2 weeks since my surgery and holy cow, all I think about is getting laid... I have behaved myself simply because the Dr stressed the no sex thing for 6-8 weeks. I guess it is a chance situation, just don't go in thinking that its going to be one way or another
113 - Pain free
I am 36 and I had full hysterectomy 12 months ago.My sex life before was great......after surgery took 4,5 months and finally got better after I started using Vivelle dot patch twice a week.I don't think I'll have the same sex life tha I had before but this patch is helping me a lot.I just started doing exercise 4 weeks ago and lost 7 pounds so far.
114 - Diane
It's like that song of the rolling stones after a total hysteromy; "I can't get no satisifaction."
You want to keep your husband happy, but feel a bit resentful because it is all give and no get. It is extremely frustrating to say the least. I suppose bio-identical hormones cost an arm & a leg, but I'm going to look into it anyway. I wish all you ladies out there with the same problem all the best. Don't give up.
115 - shena
I had a hysterectomy Jan. 09. My doctor didn't explain to me then and denies it now, how a woman has uterine contractions and when you take her uterus the contractions stop. My sex life is ruined! I wish I wouldn't have done this.
116 - LISA
I HAD AN HYSTERECTOMY 2 YEARS AGO ,IAM ONLY 41YEARS OLD AND I TELL YOU IT WAS THE WORST DECISION I EVER MADE.IAM DRY ALL THE TIME,HOT FLASHES../*WHICH MY HUSBAND HATES,COLD THEN HOT*/ PLEASE DONT MAKE THIS DECISION I HADE EVERY THING TAKING OUT. MY HUSBAND S MISERABLE BECAUSE IAM NEVER IN THE MOOD,IM DRY,DURING ORAL SEX HE CANT GET INTO IN ANYMORE BECAUSE THERE IS NO TASTE....PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE DONT MAKE THIS DECISION BECAUSE YOU WILL LOSE EVERYTHING ...IAM AFARID ALL THE TIME THAT MY HUSBAND WILL LEAVE OR EVEN HAVE AN AFFAIR BECAUSE OF MY LOST OF INSTERED EVEN TO WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 16 YEARS.
117 - Richele
I am 40 years old and have had female problems since I started having my period. Heavy bleeding, cramping, month long periods etc. I was blessed with twins and since their birth six years ago my problems have increased. I had an ablation, a tubal, and d & c to no avail. The next step a total hysterectomy. I went on with all the facts and a positive frame of mind. My uterus gave meroblems my whole life. to eliminate the problem sounded wonderful. Recovery was slow and sometimes painful but no different than my c-section. And it has been wonderful since. No decrease in my sex drive--in fact I feel better than I have in years and find myself a more willing partner and more frequently. I don't feel I lost my womanhood or anything like that. I feel Great-no pain-no bleeding-no cramps--this is a great time for me feeling so well. The better I feel the better mom and wife I am. Think positive--it works.
118 - Shells
I had a radical hysterectomy 6 weeks ago - i had no choice as i had stage 1 uterine cancer. My surgeon advised it was best to remove everything - uterus, cervix, tubes and ovaries - which turned out to be the best decision ever - as the cancer had spread to one of my ovaries! My recovery has been pretty good considering, however i have put on 7 kilos since surgery! Im not sure if this is due to be inactive for the 6 weeks or if it is due to some kind of hormonal imbalance?
119 - VH
I am 26 and had a hysterectome 20 days ago. I have never felt better! I couldn't wait and had sex with my husband. Before surgery, sex was painful, dry and periods were terrible. I was always anemic and would go through tampons like crazy! I am sooo thankful to have had it done. I do feel a bit emotional at times but sex is good, I am not dry anymore and I feel really great. I think it really depends on you.
120 - Pauline
I am 43 and had a partial hysterectomy and bladder suspension in May. He removed my uterus and lifted my cervix. I have prolapse of the cervix again and the doc says this time he'll have to remove my cerix. I'm worried about how this will affect my sex drive/ability to orgasm. Are there other options? Will I still enjoy sex. I always have but since my surgery it seems that things are worse. My husband is the salt of the earth and I know this is becoming a problem between us. Need some good advise. Thanks.
121 - Julie
I had a full hysterectomy 6mths ago and have lost all my sex drive its zero im just not interested. I love my husband very much an we are in love im worried he migh leave me if things dont improve....
122 - Stephanie
Hi, i had a hysterectomy april 2008. I was not sure of the decission and turns out i should not of had it.I was alwways happy with the tight and lubricated feeling. I still have sexual desire and care about sex a great deal. Sex did hurt in the first 6 to 9 months after. But going slow being very comfortable with your partner eases this problem.For a brief time sex was awesome, almost back to normal. Now sex feels odd as if i am doing it for no reason, like i said i still want it and get very turned on but i feel almost nothing inside, yet i feel everything on the outside to just inside the vagina. Before the surgery i would be extremly wet, have lots of orgasm's, and just lubrication every where. But now i do not have orgasm's or any clitorial wetness. I worry my partner is not satisfied with the lack of orgasm and external wetness. My partner thinks i am still sexy and nothing is different inside. I want to know if the men feel anything or enjoy the sex.
123 - anonymous
My wife is 32 and I am 40. She was diagnosed with female cancer by her physician and had full hysterectomy in June 09 and nearly died during surgery due to surgical mishaps. It now turns out that it could have been miss-diagnosed and not necessary at all. She is now with a different physician and we are consulting legal advisory. Before the surgery, my wife had great self-esteem but was modest and we had a very active enjoyable sex life. It has now been 5 months since the surgery and my wife has not been the same. It breaks my heart and I have slipt into a deep depression. She has no interest in me or in intimacy with me of any type, shape or form. For those of you women out there considering hysterectomy, I would strongly suggest to get a second and even a third opinion and to only consider it if you have cancer or if medically necessary. For no other reason would I ever recommend hysterectomy. I can only hope and pray someday soon the interest and sex drive in my relationship with my wife will return for her and she will enjoy it. For those husbands and significant others who may be out there dealing with the same issue that I am dealing with; my prayers go out to you and there should be a support group for spouces dealing with this type of situation.
124 - nik
"The quality of a woman's sexuality before and after hysterectomy is likely to be influenced by many of these factors. Psychosocial factors that contribute positively to sexual function include a healthy relationship with a partner, good general health of both partners, freedom from severe life stresses, and absence of financial worry. If one or more of these positive factors is negatively affected, it might disrupt sexual functioning."
So in other words they're saying "IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD YOU SILLY WOMEN!!!"
If a doctor has to cut off one of your legs does s/he say you'll walk better after the operation?
125 - Stephanie
I am 33 years old and I had a hysterectomy (kept ovaries) almost 6 weeks ago. I had been in HORRID pain and bleeding VERY heavily (many trips to the ER) for 5 years. I had severe endometreosis and adenomyosis. I think what is important to understand is that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. Where some women regret it, some women don't, and although looking at comments and reading about and/or talking to other people about their experiences is important, you have to remember that this is about YOU and your situation is unique. It is not a surgery to go into lightly AT ALL, but you have to make the decision that is right for YOU! Get all the information and knowledge you can, and ask yourself in the worst case scenario, can you deal with it if it happens?
Personally, I have had a fairly good recovery. Lots of pain the first few weeks and VERY tired (still get tired more easily, but getting better every day), but good overall. My husband and I knew we were finished having kids 4 years ago and he had a vasectomy, but the sense of loss still came after my womb was removed. I had lots of people to talk to and help me through it. I think having supporting and encouraging people around you is of the utmost importance! I think it is important to talk about how you are feeling, good or bad.
And also, PERSONALLY, I am counting the days until I get the okay from my doctor for my husband and I to have sex again. I am nervous at the same time, however, both about it feeling different for him and for it hurting me, but we talk to each other about it and know that we can deal with whatever comes, when and if it comes and that we need to be careful and take our time the first time. My sex drive has been very high the last two weeks, but it is important to wait to get your doctor's okay! It is a extremely frustrating waiting for me, though. I am very blessed to have a wonderful marriage and supportive husband. My sex drive is HIGH now, but yes, it may die down in a while, but we are aware of the possibility.
My advice would be to gain all the knowledge you can, talk to as many people who have had it done as you can and then make the decision that is right for you. It is NOT EASY to get through it, but you can get through it. Blessings to all.