By Melody Brooke, MA, LPC, LMFT
Here's a great article from one of our featured authors, Melody Brooke. Melody is a Professional, Marriage and Family Counselor and InterPlay leader. Her approach uses body, mind, and spirit to help her clients heal themselves with her gentle and compassionate guidance.
This article provides practical steps to ignite, or keep that spark, in your relationship. This is a must-read article that is guaranteed to improve your relationship (assuming you are willing to take action.
It doesn’t matter how excited you are about your partner if you can’t stay on the same wavelength and keep a connection over time. Finding the right person is really less than half of what it takes to stay connected with someone. In working with couples and families over the past 18 years it has become clear to me that being in love, or even just loving someone, isn’t enough to keep the relationship going.
To maintain that magical feeling of love and special-ness in a relationship we have to be willing to take 150% ownership of the quality of the connection in our relationships. There are certain things we have to be willing to do and to continue doing if it is our intention to stay in love and in connection with our chosen partner.
The exciting thing is that it doesn’t matter if your relationship is only six months old or if it's 20 years old, these things will work to deepen your connection. And you don’t have to wait for the other person to do them, it’s not about what the other person does or doesn’t do. It’s about you deciding that you want to maintain that connection, and being willing to take that 150% ownership.
So here we go:
1) Love is an action: Show your partner how you feel about them every day, at least once a day. Do this even if you are in different states or countries. Show your care, don’t just speak it. Saying “I love you” doesn’t deepen a connection unless it’s accompanied by actions. Leave love notes under your partner’s pillow when you are going to be out of town. Make sure the tires in his car have enough air in them before he leaves town. Hug her every time she walks in the door. Think to get her favorite flower once in a while, for no reason. Fix the leak in the bathroom he’s been complaining about. Wipe up the counter and pick up after yourself like she has been asking.
Article comments
1 - shanice
I will use this to come and help me in my two year relationship the spark is still there I just want to make it more fun and a relxing relationship. Good advice
2 - jamie
my girlfriend has said that their is no spark in our relationship and she does love how would i get that back
3 - louise
My partner and i are just about to have our first baby and i have been worried we would lose some of what we deem as important in our relationship. after reading the article it's so reasuring that we are doing all 7 of thoes recomendations and then some... (except the bit of wiping up after hiself!! ha)
4 - Josh
The most important single ingredient in any relationship is knowing how to get along with people
-Theodore Roosevelt
5 - anonamyous
there is no spark, even in sex. she's more "*sigh* let's get this over with"
6 - Kait
He won't even HAVE Sex with me. Often, refusing to come home because it wastes too much gas. Hates cuddling, angry all the time, Holding hands with me? NEVER. Holding hands with another dude? ALL THE TIME. I wish I could coax him into trying, but this doesn't seem to help me. Thanks for posting.
7 - Jacky
Thank you so worth reading it. . . will try all the advise.Feeling sexy already.
8 - ronnie
If your girl sighs before having sex she doesnt want you anymore
9 - Helen
I live wit my boyfriend, we both work so we don't spend much time together. I feel like our spark going away and I don't want that to happen. I tried to make love to him, but he is always tired.