One took out Rev. Faldown’s palatial mansion setting it ablaze, another slammed into the Church accounting office, yet another took out Faldown’s rectory and private offices, and the final one slammed into his broadcast studio headquarters.
The body of the massive Blogcritics airship smashed into Freedom Baptist Congregation’s main Sanctuary building taking power poles with it, sparking an electrical fire fed by the blimp’s aviation fuel storage tanks for it’s engines. All five buildings were judged total losses as was the once-beautiful airship.
Faldown is said to be resting comfortably in a local hospital after an apparent heart attack and all of us escaped with our lives with only minor burns, bumps and bruises.
Causalities on the ground were light. Mrs. Faldown and a young handsome church deacon had to be rescued from a basement chamber of the main building where they’d been trapped. She stated later that she was showing him slides of their last trip to the Grand Canyon and made repeated attempts to make sure that everyone that would listen believed her.
The president released a statement from his extended vacation at Camp David, saying only that he and his family were praying for the hundreds of innocent victims of this great and horrific tragedy, and that he would address our grieving country in the very near future on national television about this terrible crisis.
With individual and personal lawsuits totaling into the tens of millions of dollars as of this report, Faldown is still trying to convince his lawyers and especially his insurance company that it was an “Act of God.”
Custom airship graphic created by Jet'sArt Custom Illustrations 2006.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Jet in Columbus
Thanks Mark!
2 - Victor Plenty
To paraphrase Captain Solo, it's too big to be an airship!
3 - Jet in Columbus
Solo or Sulu?
4 - Victor Plenty
Don't make me come over there and confiscate your geek card.
5 - Christopher Rose
Classic!
6 - Jet in Columbus
This is the consequence when no one wanted to suggest what I should blow up next!
7 - gonzo marx
oh....the humanity!
/golfclap
i especially like the photoshop work, fucking priceless
Excelsior?
8 - Jet in Columbus
(whimper) ...forgive me Eric. It's just as well I have my shrink appointment at 1PM today...
9 - Victor Plenty
Speaking of shrinks, Jet, would you be willing to review a book for me? Don't worry, it's not one written by me. I've been meaning to write a review of it for quite awhile now, and just haven't been able to make the time.
10 - Dawn
Yeah, I am all about going down....with the ship!!! Jet, I am starting to worry about you :)
11 - gonzo marx
i....can't....resist....
Dawn sez...
*Yeah, I am all about going down....*
now we all know why the picture of big E is always smiling...
/hides
Excelsior?
12 - Sam
Poorly written unfunny drivel. Expect better of this site.
13 - Christopher Rose
You are aware that Blogcritics tracks unique IP addresses aren't you, "Sam"?
14 - Jet in Columbus
Was I almost taken out by a "sam" missile there Chris?
15 - Jet in Columbus
Victor-Solo the plastic cup???
16 - Jet in Columbus
All right Victor, why didn't someone TELL me I had a geek card?
17 - Jet in Columbus
Victor#9 I honestly would like to help you but with my eyes in the condition they're in, it'd take for ever.
I'm honored you'd ask though...
Jet
18 - Jet in Columbus
Dearest Sam #12, I'm truly sorry, and I'll try to do better next time. Smile for me.... Please?
19 - Jet in Columbus
Christopher Rose, you big lug, you make me blush.
20 - Jet in Columbus
Dawn Olsen, wait till you see what I name the replacement ship!
21 - Andy Marsh
dammit gonzo...I just found this and the first thing that came to mind was...oh the humanity!
22 - Jet in Columbus
Andy I was going to make you the blimp pilot but you were busy in Florida... sorry
23 - Andy Marsh
Sounds like it was a good thing I was outta town!
24 - Jet in Columbus
That's okay Andy, kinda makes you wonder what Mrs. Faldown was doing in the basement doesn't it?
25 - Andy Marsh
You're a funny guy Jet! I actually made that last comment before I realized it wasn't fatal!