Satire: Televangelist Suffers Heart Attack After Shooting Down Blogcritics' Blimp And Getting A Sign From God! - Comments Page 2

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• 26 - gonzo marx

  Jul 19, 2006 at 10:21 pm

  hey, at least it wasn't Andy in the basement with Falldown...
  
  they are neighbors...
  
  sort of
  
  Excelsior?

• 27 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 19, 2006 at 10:24 pm

  With one of Oprah's camera men?

• 28 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 19, 2006 at 10:39 pm

  Gonzo #7 Photo shop???
  
  Okay first I saved a .bmp of the goodyear blimp, then converted it to a .jpg with microsoft paint, then copied it to Microsoft Word 2000 to enlarge it to scale to three different sizes so I had the perspective right for the two outer blimps, then stretched and enlarged the center one.
  
  Then took each individually and superimposed them on top of eachother in line. Then I used Corel draw 2000 to fade/edge each into eachother, and enlarge the fins upward on the outer and backward on the inner.
  
  Took it all back to Microsoft Word 2000 and used the WordArt tool to scale and rotate the BlogsCritics logo in Wide Latin Black and superimosed it over the ship. Then back to Paint to pick and choose the shades of blue-gray making them lighter as they went forward on the ship to reflect the sunlight, and add the running lights.
  
  Transferred the whole thing back to Corel to pull the letters out of focus to match the picture and to warp them to fit the curvature of the blimp. also to change the color and texture of the fins and get rid of the origianal goodyear logos.
  
  Back to paint to create and make sure the braces were straight for the under carraige than back to Corel to fade them out of focus to match the focus of the original photo and also to expand the sky around the jagged edges.
  
  Then to Photo Art 1998 to adjust the contrast and sharpen the overall focus slightly and also to adjust the color down from all the contrast work.
  
  Back to Word to scale it, and finally Paint to put the whole thing together as one package.
  
  And you wonder why it took all day?
  
  I sold my professional graphics computer two months ago to make the rent.
  
  It was worth it judging by the comments, I'm glad all of you enjoyed it. I may expand the sky on the original so it can be used a wallpaper.
  
  shwew

• 29 - duane

  Jul 19, 2006 at 11:14 pm

  OK, Jet, you didn't critique my Bowie/Eggnoggin duet, but I made up a little ditty to provide a sound track to your blimp story anyway.
  
  Sung to the tune Copacabana by Barry Manilow:
  
  His name is Falldown, he was a preacher
  With a mug that blows hot air and a gut that sags to there
  He preached the fire, he preached the brimstone
  He professed to love The Word, but he's a hypocrite, a turd
  He's a Bible thumping boor, a Christian soldier losing the war
  But he was rich and he had a mansion
  Who could ask for more?
  
  At the blogsite, Blogcritics blogsite
  A sinister cabal that covers blimp flights
  At the blogsite, Blogcritics blogsite
  Celebrity bashin' is always in fashion
  With this blogsite.... Jet fell in love
  
  His name was Eric, he was a blogger
  He bought a Goodyear blimp, he did anything but skimp
  It had a restaurant, it had a sauna
  But before it cruised too far, something happened quite bizarre
  Falldown led a class, and of himself he made an ass
  There were hopes for a sign from God
  But the timing was flawed
  
  At the blogsite, Blogcritics blogsite
  The sinister cabal imagines blimp flights
  At the blogsite, Blogcritics blogsite
  Amazon linking is always in fashion
  With this blogsite.... Jet fell in love
  
  His name was Falldown, he hated heathens
  With the Goodyear overhead, he sneered and shook his head
  He had a vision, a cataclysm
  An idea like a lightning rod, he would do the will of God
  And then the rocket flew, the blimp was blown in two
  There was blood and some helium
  Falldown made the blimp fall down
  
  At the blogsite, Blogcritics blogsite
  The sinister cabal invents a blimp flight
  At the blogsite, Blogcritics blogsite
  Guitar poll a-trashin' is always in fashion
  At this blogsite.... Jet feels the love
  

• 30 - duane

  Jul 19, 2006 at 11:35 pm

  Hell, I messed it up. I wanted to put in the line
  
  "Amazon cashin' is always in fashion"
  
  instead of what I posted. Oh well, it was a rush job.

• 31 - gonzo marx

  Jul 19, 2006 at 11:53 pm

  /falls off chair
  
  geeez...duane...[chortles]...please...stop..[gasps]
  
  please...mercy... [herniates self]...ya gotta.....
  
  arRRRRrrRRRRrrRRgGGGGgGGGggGGGhhhhh
  
  Excelsior?

• 32 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 20, 2006 at 1:46 am

  Duane, I'm blown away, flabbergasted, and flattered. Thank you for the smile
  
  Jet
  
  I'm getting closer and closer to changing my tag line from "Only my opinion" to "Dear God what have I done?"

• 33 - duane

  Jul 20, 2006 at 1:55 am

  You bet, Jet. Thanks, gonzo.

• 34 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 20, 2006 at 2:04 am

  Of course thanks to yout hat damned melody will be stuck in my head the rest of the night...

• 35 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 20, 2006 at 8:21 am

  Thanks a lot Duane, now I've got Barry Manilow stuck in my head hanging out of a bell tower screaming "The Blimp, Boss, The Blimp!!!" and Herve Villechanece as Tattoo is flying the blimp...
  
  Oy vay

• 36 - Maurice

  Jul 20, 2006 at 9:31 am

  Jet, you are a genius. Very funny.
  
  I was overwhelmed by the seriousness of the ridiculous.
  
  I can't wait for the movie to come out!
  
  

• 37 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 20, 2006 at 10:33 am

  Thanks Maurice; as for the movie, I'm still waiting for financing from multimillionaire Eric Neslo, and we have to buy the rights from Barry Mamilow for the theme song.
  
  alas

• 38 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 20, 2006 at 10:54 am

  I wonder if millionaire Bruce Wayne ever hangs out with Multimillionaire Eric Neslo... Maybe I should rephrase that.

• 39 - Maurice

  Jul 20, 2006 at 12:06 pm

  I'm thinking Christopher Walken as Rev. Faldown...

• 40 - Nancy

  Jul 20, 2006 at 12:16 pm

  Oh, Jet - you DID go get better drugs from your doctor like I suggested! Good for you!
  
  Ahhh...would that at least part of this scenario were true (the destruction of everything connected w/a certain televangelist).

• 41 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 20, 2006 at 12:17 pm

  Oh god they're casting the movie already! Brad Pitt as Eric Neslo-with plenty of nude scenes?
  
  Carus deus, quis have ego commissio?
  Jet
  

• 42 - WilsonZ

  Jul 20, 2006 at 12:55 pm

  Hey,
  
  I found this from a google link! Great satire. Too bad it will become an urban legend and fact within 6 months! I would not be at all surprised to see it show up in the news someday soon!
  
  Wil

• 43 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 20, 2006 at 2:46 pm

  What link WilsonZ? Despite what I just wrote on my "Golden Umbrella" string I'm going to find a way to laugh through this if it kills me.

• 44 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 20, 2006 at 4:23 pm

  Okay Brad Pitt as Millionaire Mark Neslo-who would we cast as his faithful and courageous wife Dawn?

• 45 - gonzo marx

  Jul 20, 2006 at 4:32 pm

  either Angelina (YES! nude scene is a MUST) or, if ya wanna be eeeeeee-vil... Jennifer Anniston (talk about fireworks on the set!)
  
  glad ta help
  
  Excelsior?

• 46 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 20, 2006 at 4:36 pm

  We could get Dave Nalle to play the heroic blimp pilot-he's an expert at controlling hot air!

• 47 - Dawn

  Jul 20, 2006 at 7:43 pm

  May I suggest Lindsay Lohan to play me. We have a lot in common. The red hair, our proclivities for exposing ourselves in public, the whole coke whore thing and oodles of talent just oozing from our blemish-free pores.

• 48 - gonzo marx

  Jul 20, 2006 at 7:51 pm

  but...but... will she go down......with the ship, of course..as readily or as ably as you ? or Angelina for that matter?
  
  there's the Question
  
  /runs from the Olsen horde
  
  Excelsior?

• 49 - Maurice

  Jul 20, 2006 at 9:39 pm

  Jet #46
  
  I was waiting for someone to say the 'hot air' thing. I thought maybe you would accuse Sussman of hot air.
  
  Of course his satire already crashed and burned earlier.....
  
  
  

• 50 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 20, 2006 at 11:25 pm

  Dawn 47-Yeah, like I'm going to disagree with you? Since I'm the "creator" I'd go back in time and pick Rachel Welch in her mid 20s to play you.

• 51 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 20, 2006 at 11:54 pm

  We could get Christopher Rose to play the guy in the basement?

• 52 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 21, 2006 at 12:04 am

  Maurice 49 sorry for a lack of response, but I crashed and burned this afternoon, and I'm just recovering...

• 53 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 21, 2006 at 12:54 am

  OH LORD! this article was reprinted automatically on line in The Maryland Energy News about halfway down the page after some computer spotted the words, electrical fire, powerlines and Maryland in this satire!

• 54 - gonzo marx

  Jul 21, 2006 at 2:02 am

  ROTFLMGDAO
  
  best....bit....of...the...week
  
  ya gotta luv bots
  
  Excelsior?

• 55 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 21, 2006 at 2:19 am

  Forgive my ignorance but you've lost me... sorry

• 56 - gonzo marx

  Jul 21, 2006 at 2:31 am

  oh no..
  
  i mean that the e-magazine picked up your Satire due to a bot search engine that auto updated their page
  
  i find that Amusing...
  
  silly Jet
  
  Excelsior?

• 57 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 21, 2006 at 2:40 am

  Actually it three now:
  
  Maryland Energy Newa
  East North Central U.S. Aerospace News
  and a fire insurance website called Real Estate Hot Zone
  
  actually I was wondering about the "ROTFLMGDAO"
  
  
  Carus deus, quis have ego commissio?
  Jet
  
  
  

• 58 - gonzo marx

  Jul 21, 2006 at 2:41 am

  "rolling on the floor laughing my god damned ass off"
  
  you know i live to Serve...
  
  Excelsior?

• 59 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 21, 2006 at 2:50 am

  I'll have to jot that one down...
  
  Eyes are starting to hurt, have a long day tomorrow, thanks for the smiles and education today my friend...
  
  Jet

• 60 - gonzo marx

  Jul 21, 2006 at 2:55 am

  no worries Jet..
  
  take care, and good Luck on the morrow
  
  Excelsior?
  

• 61 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 21, 2006 at 10:11 am

  Gonzo #60 Thanks Gonzo... As always... Carus deus, quis have ego commissio?
  Jet
  

• 62 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 21, 2006 at 10:54 am

  The hell with casting this one, what'll I do for a sequel???

• 63 - Maurice

  Jul 21, 2006 at 11:29 am

  perhaps a story about the strange relationship between Bush and his gay chicano speech therapist...?

• 64 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 21, 2006 at 11:39 am

  George or Laura?

• 65 - Maurice

  Jul 21, 2006 at 11:43 am

  Jet. I am concerned about you.
  
  ....his gay chicano...
  
  
  Both would be funny.

• 66 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 21, 2006 at 11:49 am

  Maybe Laura was trying to "Save" him before George got to him?

• 67 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 21, 2006 at 11:51 am

  Alas, it appears as though all three websites have removed the story suddenly realizing it was a satire.
  
  it was fun while it lasted though
  
  Carus deus, quis have ego commissio?
  Jet
  

• 68 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 21, 2006 at 1:08 pm

  I think I'll write a part for Chantal as the church secretary...

• 69 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 21, 2006 at 5:05 pm

  ...I could title the sequel Eric and Dawn's Excellent Adventure!!! Now all I need is a laser, a mop and bucket, a pound of ground beef, a 1981 Chevy Citation, blue food coloring, a can of Budweiser chilled to exactly 51 degrees, two goldfish and some KY jelly!
  
  ...Oh and a packet of mayonaise from the local fish and chips shop.
  
  Hmmmmmmm
  
  Wher can I find a funnel?
  
  Carus deus, quis have ego commissio?
  Jet

• 70 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 22, 2006 at 1:09 pm

  Just found this on the The Maryland Energy News site again, you have to go to the bottom of the articles and click next and it's half way down on the 2nd page!
  
  Their computer keeps coughing it up because of the mention of electrical fire, power poles etc!!!

• 71 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 22, 2006 at 10:39 pm

  Someday I'm going to figure out why everything disappears like that.

• 72 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 23, 2006 at 12:32 pm

  I wonder what Rev. Faldown's sermon for today was?

• 73 - Silas Kain

  Jul 23, 2006 at 10:18 pm

  I wonder what Rev. Faldown's sermon for today was?
  
  I heard it was Hezbollah means Homosexual in Arab. It was a dissertation on why Hezbollah must be destroyed. Not because they are philanthropic terrorists, but because they're queer.

• 74 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 23, 2006 at 11:35 pm

  Silas! You're back? Trust me Hezbollah is completely hetrosexual, no organization that caused that much trouble could be anything else.
  
  Did you finish my Novelization?

• 75 - Jet in Columbus

  Jul 24, 2006 at 1:58 am

  Okay, I'll cast Clavos as the heroic blimp pilot in the sequel...