Satire: Jane Austen At SmashBox, Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week

Dear Cassandra,

It’s been almost a fortnight since I returned from visiting Miss Fong, who bid me to accompany her to view the latest fashions at a show sponsored by a Germanic family. As of late, I have been unwrapping parcels, given to us gratis to reciprocate our having been there. So-called "swag bags," I suppose, to connote the frill at the end of the draperies.

I find myself in possession of cosmetics suitable for someone in the theatre and a collection of “t-shirts,” which are unusual men’s undergarments printed with names of products. Sister dear, these are what “normal” men and women wear on the street. Daresay, where we live, I wonder if even the poor would want them.

photo by theo westenbergWe drove in a black horseless carriage across broad expanses of asphalt. I was surprised to find the I-5 and I-10 freeways have as much appeal as a soggy rutted road in the middle of winter. The journey lasted ninety minutes, during which time Miss Fong and I waited in line behind other carriages as at times we were proceeding at walking pace.

We arrived at a store called Trader Joe's and, after circling, found a spot in the car park. I begged leave to stop in at the store, (which I found preferable to Tesco). We bought Cadbury and scones as other travelers have said there is little food at the oddly named Smash Box Studios, a duchy owned by the grandsons of cosmetics duke, Max Factor.

Miss Fong and I then caught a public coach over to Smash Box Studios, where there was a long queue. There were many young women in mourning – never have I seen so much black. To my shock, a feather-haired gentleman was engaged in a mild flirtation with one of the widows. It was not until Miss Fong indicated that indeed in Los Angeles, wearing black needn’t mean they’re widows. As such, we spoke to one of the ladies at length. Sadly, I’ve concluded most of the women are spinsters.

We saw many collections. Though I can’t say these were the latest fashions from Le Beau Monde, there were a few gowns brought over on a trade ship from India that managed to captivate. There was no fullness in the back or sides, rather the gowns hung from the shoulders and were gathered below the bosom to be secured with jewel encrusted belt of gold and silver threads.

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Article Author: Kanani Fong

A writer for twenty years, Kanani Fong has appeared in newspapers, magazines and books. She runs three popular blogs under the Get Lost With Easy Writer masthead on fashion, military wife life, and writing.

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