Recently, after having read one of my newspaper columns a co-worker asked me how I learned to write so good. While I’m not sure that how to write good is something that can be teached, I thought it might be a good idea to offer a few pointers for anyone who has a desire to improve his writing skills.
The first thing you should do is always use the male personal pronoun. In other words, instead of saying, “This is advice for anyone who wants to improve his or her writing skills, just say “…his writing skills.” Aside from avoiding the clumsy “his or her” construction, there are some women (mainly ones with hyphenated last names) who will be irritated by it, and that alone makes it worthwhile. Also, don't worry about subject-verb number agreement. It’s perfectly okay to say “…anyone who wants to improve their writing skills,” because such usage is evidence that the writer was not really thinking about what he was writing, and too much thinking while writing is never a good
thing, as anyone who reads newspaper op-ed pages must realize.
Many people seem to have trouble with punctuation. The most misused punctuation mark, by far, is the apostrophe. My advice is to use the apostrophe indiscriminately, just as everyone else seems to do. If a word ends in “s” and you’re not sure whether to use an apostrophe or not, go ahead and throw one in. This is especially true of the word “its.” At last count there were only about ten people on earth who know the difference between "it's" and "its." Why worry about it?
The aspiring writer should never allow himself to be intimidated by big words. While at one time it was considered good form to use a dictionary and look up the meaning of a big word before using it, these days meaning is less important than the sheer mass of verbiage that you use. Thus you can refer to an ordinary abbreviation or initialization such as “YMCA” as an “acronym,” even though it is not an acronym and has never been an acronym. You would have no way of knowing that, though, unless you looked it up, and who has time for that?
In my local newspaper a few years ago, on the occasion of the opening of a new factory, a story was published about the grand opening festivities, which, according to the piece, included a “train that circumvents the warehouse.” While it may be that the train actually did avoid or elude the warehouse by way of a loophole, I doubt it, but what does it matter? The writer knew what he meant.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Matthew T. Sussman
Well job on this
2 - Cathy
Another way to write good is if you can't find an appropriate verb, just use a noun, e.g. "let's dialogue, Bob," or "the church fellowshipped." This is a good thing, really, as one noun can replace a multitude of verbs and will lead us onward to a shinningly ambiguous future: "I carred to work," "Let's TV," "I booked." Did he write a book? Read a book? Order plane tickets? File charges against a criminal? The world may never know.
3 - Jim Wynne
Cathy:
I intend to leverage that idea.
4 - Duane
This is a great article Jim. I should of read you're article a long time ago because in my work I write technical papers and I waist a lot of time worrying about comma's and semicolons's and whatnot. Your saying that for all intensive purposes that one shouldn't worry about there grammar so much just write what's on you're mind and every one will get the pitcher.
When it come's to grammar I was always taught to tow the line so I always had my thesuarus open to check my definitions and stuff. Like Cathy would say I thesuarused my way threw articles and I would feel badly for taking so long. Like my superviser would be waiting with baited breath, you know LOL. Its a doggy dog world out there an anyway to accelerate my speed like in you're article really helps. I didn't want to just make do ya know? I seen one guy he turned in a sloppy report and the superviser he says it would pass the mustard any way and the guy tells me he had the worse feeling. Any ways you layed some of my fears to rest.
So, to synopsize, my comment's, I say "here here!
5 - Dawn
Obviously Jim, you've been reading my articles. Thanks for the advice, I will keep up the good work :)
6 - Mary K. Williams
Awesome! Wicked wicked awesome! All graduates of the Derek Zoolander Institute for Kids Who Can't Read Good will rejoice!
7 - DrPat
Gosh, Jim, you passed completely on the strongest trend in communication: TLAs. Jargon is always a rich source for counter-communication, so CYA ASAP!
8 - Jim Wynne
But TLAs aren't A's, using "TLA" as an example. Now my head hurts.
9 - gonzo marx
OMG!!!
TLAs?
WTG!
WTF?
IMO
Excelsior?
10 - Jackie
Love it!
11 - Andy Marsh
Thanks, I had to wipe OJ off the computer screen when I read the first line. That's awesome! I think you mighta teached me sumpin'
12 - Andy Marsh
Actually, it was the second line...
13 - SonnyD
Jim: Loved it! Haven't laughed that much for quite a while. Duane may have out dun ya, though. I have actually heard and read "intensive purposes" and "doggy dog world" just recently.
My pet peeve is that NOone knows the difference between "less" and "fewer". I don't claim to know it all. Heck, I seldom write anything longer than my grocery list. But, a network news anchor should know something as simple as that. Words are the tools of their trade. Would you hire a plumber who couldn't use a wrench or a carpenter who couldn't use a hammer? How do these people even get a job?
My other pet peeve is over-used phrases. It used to be "at this point in time" and now the latest is "in harm's way".
I have to admit, I do take a wild guess at where to throw in that pesky comma sometimes.
14 - Baronius
We didn't have problems like this before the liberals and homophones took over the country.
15 - Andy Marsh
I was gonna mention them too baronius...but I didn't wanna start anything...
16 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
The title of you're article its grammeratically rong--it shoud be: How to Write Goodly. Sorry I just cant leave Well enougf alone.
17 - Baronius
Cathy I agree that bothers me and so is the sentence with no punctuation but what REALY bothers me is the verb being used as a noun. Have you noticed that all reporters talk about "the disconnect" between things or people? Its "disconnection" you moron's.
18 - Jim Wynne
Duane's comment (#4) is funnier than my piece. You know that parody is good when you have a hard time distinguishing between it and the thing being parodied.
Baronius: You are an obvious homophonic.
19 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
I keep an eye out for "signs" of the times. My favorites:
"RE-GRAND OPENING" for stores under new management(I've seen a few of these).
"Looking for KNOWLEDGABLE People"--Help Wanted sign at a bookstore, yet.
20 - uao
Me also like ur riting.
21 - Gertrude
Dear Duane,
If UR going to rite, please get it st8t. It iz "intensive porpoises." You should conversate better. UR nervousing me.
Latah, fur sher!
Gertrude
22 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
And it's not "No man is an island," it's "No Mayonaise in Ireland."
23 - Mary K. Williams
My husband's pet peeve is 'irregardless' when people really mean to say 'regardless'.
24 - Matthew T. Sussman
Could you be Morse Pacific?
25 - Mary K. Williams
I dont no that i cud. this hole thing making me feel dum.