Satire: An Open Letter to Mr. Al Gore

Dear Sir,

The green movement isn’t enough.

There, I’ve said it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for reducing our environmental impact. I love the idea of minimizing my carbon footprint. I’ve been recycling for as long as I can remember, and I drank the tree-hugger Kool-aid ages ago. It’s just that it won’t be enough.

Let me explain why I don’t have faith in our current efforts, Mr. Gore. This past weekend, I attended the Austin City Limits music festival, a three-day extravaganza showcasing dozens upon dozens of indie, folk, and rock bands. It was basically a massive hippie-fest, located in one of the greenest and most environmentally-minded cities in the nation. At this festival, where (at least theoretically) most of the attendees love the environment and want to save the planet, I witnessed the unthinkable. Left and right, people were casually tossing their trash on the ground – beer cans, napkins, cigarette butts, you name it.

It would be an understatement to say that I was surprised, Al (can I call you that?). I was shocked; appalled, even. If a demographic that has previously demonstrated environmental awareness can stoop to such lows, what does that say about the rest of the population? I shudder to think.

Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe all the hippies and tree-huggers and environmentalists were tired of saving the planet and wanted to cut loose. Maybe they all stayed home this past weekend. Maybe all the people in attendance were a bunch of poseurs (excluding me, of course); I can’t say for sure.

Now Mr. Gore, what I do know - without even a hint of doubt - is that the efforts of you, the EPA, and everyone else have been well-intended but ultimately useless.

My only conclusion is that being “green,” at this juncture, is too difficult, too inaccessible. It is too expensive, too time-consuming, too emotionally exhausting. There are too many barriers to entry, and the common populace is giving up.

Right now, average citizens can reduce their carbon footprints in two different ways, and neither option is particularly enviable. First, we can spend our discretionary income on carbon offsets, the cost of which skyrockets pretty quickly. If not that, we can just say no to various modern conveniences and fool ourselves into feeling warm fuzzies over the minuscule difference we’ve made. Not all of us can throw handfuls of money at carbon-neutral houses, hybrid cars, and fancy educational documentaries, Mr. Gore. Meanwhile, the rest of the country will roar off into the sunset in those gas-guzzling monsters we call SUVs, leaving nothing but a faint ringing in our ears and the stench of exhaust in our noses. That sounds lovely, doesn’t it?

Article Author: Brian Murff

Brian Murff is a college student studying professional writing at the University of Oklahoma. He spends an absurd amount of his time reading, listening to music, and playing video games. He also likes playing the occasional game of bocce.

Visit Brian Murff's author page — Brian Murff's Blog