When my kindergartner came home with a paper reindeer named Rudolph eleven years ago, I realized it was time to tell him the truth about Santa Claus.
Not the "Yes, Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus" version. As inspiring as that article was in explaining the meaning of hope a century ago, that was not the truth he needed to understand. He needed to somehow comprehend the reason for the omnipresence of the jolly fellow. My younger boy, a strapping, tough bundle of muscle now, was all of four or five years at the time. But even then, he was a remarkably patient listener.
I started with the legend of Saint Nicholas. You know, the guy who supposedly lived in Turkey some 1,500 years ago who got a reputation for tossing gold into the windows of poor people. That Saint Nicholas. I pointed out that the story of this man was a very popular one that was repeated in many countries by many people, and so I got quickly to the Dutch “Sinkt Niklaas”.
Having studied linguistics, I couldn't resist comparing the pronunciation of Sinkt Niklaas to Santa Claus. The comparison seemed to turn on a light in my boy's head. Then I got to the meat of the story.
First I explained as well as I could that a commercial is an attempt to make us spend our money on something. After I thought I got that point across, I had to explain what stores do - sell merchandise - and that they use commercials to get people to buy their merchandise.
Finally, I had to point out that if stores could not sell their merchandise, the owners would not be able to pay their bills, and they would lose their homes and have to sleep in the streets. Naturally, I also pointed out that the people who work in the stores would lose their jobs, and then they wouldn't be able to pay their bills and that they would also have to sleep in the streets. But you know how five year olds are. You can't dwell on details too much.
Article comments
1 - SHARK
~STORY CONTINUED~
Lecture ends.
Next day, Ruvy's kid joins neighborhood kids -- who show him their new toys, bikes, video games, and action figures.
He goes home, wondering why his storytelling dad is such a cheap, sadistic bastard.
Later -- kid attempts to commit suicide by eating latkes washed down with a dreidel. Figures Hannukkah was an ancient marketing ploy to boost the market for candelabras and olive oil.
======
Years later: kid becomes a Christian just so he can support the local economy; ironically, the only thing he remembers about dad's Santa Speech is the part about how people might lose their homes and have to sleep in the streets.
UPDATE: He's now a good, healthy, altruistic adult... in debt.
======
(HEH)
Happy Hannukkah, Ruvy!
2 - Donnie Marler
Shark, Shark, Shark...now that I've finally mopped up the coffee I spit on my monitor as I read your comment, I'll add my own! lol.
Ruvy, I certainly understand the crass commercialism of Christmas, but I still think it IS a special time.
Smiles are a bit warmer, the air crisp and cold, and every now and again, we're blessed with a white Christmas here in Missouri.
I wanted my children to believe in Santa and the magic of Christmas for as long as possible as they were growing up. We shared many treasured father to child moments during our Christmas' together, and I'm glad they held onto their childish joy and anticipation of the Big Day.
Reality comes soon enough in the life of a child. I had no intention of rushing that day upon my children as they grew. Legends and myths play a large part in Christmas, and I saw no harm in allowing my kids to believe.
My son once asked how old I was when I stopped believing in Santa? I just smiled at him and said, "I still believe, son." It's in your heart, not your head.
3 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Donnie,
This is YOUR holiday. You SHOULD enjoy it and whatever pleasure it brings you and your family. Santa Claus is YOUR Saint Nicholas, and whatever he has morphed into at the hands of American businessmen, he is still YOURS.
But he isn't mine. And the culture I grew up with in America isn't mine, either. I was just beginning to internalize that when I had to explain to my boys why there would be no Christmas trees, no Christmas gifts, and no Santa Claus.
It took a few years for the full truth to sink in. That is why we live here and not in St. Paul. From a material standpoint, we would have far better off staying in the States. But from a cultural and spiritual standpoint, it would be an empty life. Too many Jews in America do NOT want to internalize the bitter and unpleasant truth that the American culture they have lived in all their lives and contributed to, often in outstanding ways, is not really theirs, no matter how much they try to insinuate themselves into it.
But, Donnie, that is their problem, not yours. Getting them to see that unpleasant truth is my problem, not yours.
Enjoy Christmas, and take pleasure in it. You deserve at least that much.
Don't feel too bad for us, Donnie. We do have an equivalent to what you call the "Christmas Spirit". It's called the Sabbath and comes every Friday afternoon and Saturday.
Shabbat Shalom - Sabbath peace to you.
4 - Santa
Naughty or nice old Santa will drop a bunch of presents down sr's chimney. Do miracles happen or what.
5 - Elvira Black
Ruvy, that was a beautiful story. But I still have questions.
You said:
"But from a cultural and spiritual standpoint, it would be an empty life. Too many Jews in America do NOT want to internalize the bitter and unpleasant truth that the American culture they have lived in all their lives and contributed to, often in outstanding ways, is not really theirs, no matter how much they try to insinuate themselves into it."
I think I understand what you mean, but what of those Americans who are Orthodox? Can they not retain their culture and religion here, even if they are also Americans?
What I love about America--and cities like New York--is the fact that there are so many different ethnic and religious groups living, for the most part, in harmony. In my experience, the more exposure you have to different groups, the more you come to (hopefully) realize that they are merely people rather than the "other." I know when you were living in Brooklyn this was not exactly the case, based on what you've written elsewhere, but it seems to be getting better here. Not perfect, mind you, but better.
Perhaps I am wrong, but I embrace the assimilative nature of America. People bring elements of their old culture into the mix, and no matter how "American" they become, under the surface they can still retain some of their unique heritage and share it with others. And they can, as you've stated, make remarkable contributions here--contributions they may not have had the opportunity to make in their native lands.
I've read your articles and comments long enough to know why you feel the way you do. I'm just grateful that you are still "here" via the internet, though you moved away so long ago.
Shark: ROFL!
6 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
"I think I understand what you mean, but what of those Americans who are Orthodox? Can they not retain their culture and religion here, even if they are also Americans?"
Okay Elvira, now we get out the shotgun and shoot with both barrels.
Let's take this from the point of view of attempting to obey commandments only. A Torah observant Jew undertakes an "'ol," a burden, of attempting to follow 613 commandments - mitzvot. You probably know this, but our non-Jewish readers like do not. About 200 of these mitzvot deal with, in one way or another, the Temple. Let us say, for argument's sake, that the Temple was miraculously rebuilt tomorrow. I don't care how much you shake and pray, you cannot observe a commandment about the Temple from Muncie or Division Avenue in Brooklyn.
So any Torah observant Jew living in Israel under those conditions can observe more mitzvot, merely by being attentive to them here, than one shaking and praying to beat the band in Muncie or Las Vegas.
But that uses the very worse way to measure all this.
The following was pulled from my comment at your article.
"Unfortunately, too many "religious" Jews walk with their noses up in the air and their heads up their asses all at the same time. This has alienated non-religious Jews in a big way. I speak from personal experience here.
There is a real difference between a "believer," that is to say, someone who loves G-d and his people in his heart, and someone who mumbles the rituals of a 'religion' by rote. Bit by bit, this difference is also emerging. It is this difference that I'm interested in highlighting, as opposed to the stereotypical infighting that has gone on for several generations now. Hence, my attitude here.
If virtue is measured merely by comparing whose "mitzva" list is longer, there is something very wrong with the religion.
The assimilative atmosphere in New York (and remember, this is a Brooklyn boy writing this) is the very reason you do not want to be there. In order to simply comprehend many of the commandments, like when you pray for rain instead of dew, you need to live here.
You cannot visit the tomb of the author of the Zohar in Meron from Avenue N in Brooklyn - the subway does not go that far. You cannot understand the nature of how the Temple was built (and therefore get some solid clues as to where the Holy of Holies is) without being here.
You cannot comprehend many of the things in the faith without living here BECAUSE JUDAISM IS NOT MEANT TO BE A UNIVERSAL RELIGION!!! It is meant to be practiced HERE by a people living HERE!
A person who prays three times daily for the 'kibbutz galuyot', the in-gathering of the exiles, who does not come here to live, if he can, is lying to himself.
It doesn't matter how long his peyess are, how expensive his tzitzit, or how luxurious his copies of the Talmud. It doesn't matter how many millions he donates to charity. If he lies to himself daily, and knows in his heart that he is lying to himself, he still commits the sin against G-d. And if he says he is bound by the "'ol," either he believes in G-d and attempts to avoid sin, or he sins willfully.
That is the big difference between a believer and one who rattles off prayers by rote.
7 - Elvira Black
Ruvy:
Thanks so much for your very enlightening explanation. But isn't it possible to be a believer and not live in Israel, even though it may be infinitely better to do so from your point of view?
You said:
If virtue is measured merely by comparing whose "mitzva" list is longer, there is something very wrong with the religion.
What of those who still do mitzvas here? Is it not possible to still be a devout Jew without moving to Israel?
Yes, you have explained very emphatically why it is necessary if one is able. But just for arguements' sake, I would assert that a Jew living in Israel who "rattles off prayers by rote" is probably less of a true believer than one who stays in the US but does good works and follows his faith.
And what of non-observant Jews? You've stated on several occasions that I should really be in Israel. My impression is that a number of Israelis are secular, but nevertheless fight bravely for their country. Where do they fall on this mitzvah scale?
There are many Muslims who never take a pilgramage to Mecca, and many Christians who never go to Rome or Jerusalem. Is it truly necessary to uproot oneself from one's home--the country one has lived in all their life--to journey to Israel?
Before the state of Israel, Jews were "wanderers" in other's lands. Still and all, I think that many of us have thrived and done many mitzvahs, even if we don't even know what that word means.
I'm basically playing devil's advocate here, since you've spelled it out so eloquently. But from the perspective of a non-observant Jew who does not know of the commandments you speak of, why would it be so crucial to move to Israel?
8 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Elvira,
You ask,
"What of those who still do mitzvas here? Is it not possible to still be a devout Jew without moving to Israel?"
In the end, it comes down to looking in the mirror, to a basic issue of honesty to oneself and to G-d... Can I say:
1. I believe in the G-d of Israel;
2. I believe in the 613 commandments;
3. I believe it is the destiny of the Jewish people to live in Israel as commanded by G-d.
4. Am I able to move from exile to Israel?
Why then, do I pray for the in-gathering of the exiles three times daily if I am unwilling to pick up my ass and allow myself to be "gathered in"? That's called dishonesty at the most basic level.
It's not a matter of "you're not devout." Hundreds of "devout," charitable and kind rabbis will make thousands of excuses, all of them grounded supposedly in the holy books, for not making aliyah. They are still being dishonest with themselves and those who come to them for advice. A man who lies to himself is lying to G-d also, as he is created with a neshamá, a G-d given spirit that communicates with G-d.
So Yankel Shmendrik, who just signed a thirty year mortgage for a fourplex on the corner of Avenue N and E. 14th Street for $750,000, who contributes $4,000 annually to the building fund of the Young Israel shul he goes to daily, who is paying out $45,000 a year to send his kids to a religious day school, and who is working 85 hours a week (not on Shabbes of course!!) to pay all these bills and who buys only glatt kosher (including the kosher cheese they sell in America that tastes like shit on a stick) is lying to himself three times daily when he prays to G-d. And he knows it deep in his heart, no matter how many excuses he digs out of the Talmud to get himself off the hook.
For why? So he can drive around Brooklyn like a big macher and not have to work for a third of his salary in Israel? So he can give his wife a credit card and she can run around like a meshuggeneh buying everything in sight? So he dance and twirl and at the $35,000 bar mitzvah he throws for his boy? So that he lay awake worrying at night that the self same boy might get some shikseh pregnant?
This a a life? NO!! This is a world built on a tissue of lies!! The first lie is praying to G-d for the kibbutz galuyot and then staying in America so that he could live like a Hazer. That lie and bit of self deception leads to the rest.
Better that Yankel Shmendrik (any Jew will know this is a fictional name) should not be so rich and have to hitch a ride in to Jerusalem and stay at a friend's house for Shabbat and walk with his son for netz (dawn prayer) at the Western Wall. He will not lie to himself, he will not lay awake at night worrying about his boy (getting the shikseh pregnant - any father lays awake worrying about his children), it will not cost him anywhere near as much to send his kids to school, they will understand how a Sunday through Thursday week works and how sweet and welcome the Sabbath truly is, they will walk the land on field trips and learn of the heritage of their forefathers and Yankel Shmendrik will look in the mirror and say, "I'm being true to myself."
"...just for arguments' sake, I would assert that a Jew living in Israel who "rattles off prayers by rote" is probably less of a true believer than one who stays in the US but does good works and follows his faith. And what of non-observant Jews?"
The issue here is that the fellow who rattles off his prayers by rote is negating them in part because his heart is not in what he says. This is not an issue of geography, but again, an issue of honesty.
But a "non-observant" Jew may be far more observant in reality than a "religious" one. Belief in G-d is not a fashion statement, though some "fashion statements" may connote a belief in G-d to some. A Jew who indeed loves his brother as he does himself and acts that way, even if he is rarely found in shul or has trouble keeping commandments about kashrut, is far more of a believer IMHO, than one who knows all the Talmudic implications, the commentary, and statements in the Zohar dealing with Vayikrá/Leviticus 19:18, but who acts like a prick to his fellow Jew.
If this believer understands the destiny of his people and the Covenant that it has with G-d concerning this country, and he believes in it, even if he is not the most observant Jew on the block, he indeed has an obligation to try and come here to live. This is especially true of Jews who struggle with their faith and who question. I must emphasize, this is not a matter of politics, but one of faith.
I know this sounds contradictory. Maybe it is.
Finally a Jew who says, "no I do not have any obligation to come here," for whatever reason, is IMHO, dealing himself out of the deck by himself...
My colleague in the police who is very secular, but who lives in J-lem and volunteers for the Border Patrol three times a week (that's 36 hours going out and looking for potential terrorists with 18 and 19 year old kids - no mean feat for a man in his sixties) is far more "in the deck" IMHO because he lives here and puts his life on the line for this country, in spite of all his foreign ideas that I disagree so strongly with...
9 - troll
why would any jew move to a place where the basic laws are not observed (note the inability of the people to put together the required Sanhedrin) and which probably is scheduled for another round of scorched earth biblical instruction for the transgressions of the tribe -
seems to me that this gathering is premature
10 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
"seems to me that this gathering is premature"
Troll, it is not an issue of whether the gathering is premature or not, but rather that it is, and will not be undone.
"Waiting is."
11 - troll
ok - so talking about premature gathering allowed you to slip the first part of my comment...my bad
12 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
The answer in the last post is just an abbreviated version of what will follow.
IN all likelihood, as dangerous at it will be for Jews in Israel, it will be more dangerous for them outside of Israel.
I might add, that those who the authorities consider part Jewish might also be in danger there.
BTW, it is damned cold here. Inside the house, it is a mere 11 degrees Centigrade. Snow tends to close down the country and parts of Samaria and the Galilee are closed off by snow. Residents of Bet El have been instructed to stay within the limits of the village due to the snow. It is unclear how many centimeters of snow will fall in J-lem, or if it will close the city down.
13 - troll
actually - the danger does less to cause reluctance than the guilt by association
I look forward to your post
14 - Bliffle
The horror of the santa myth is that all ones neighbors pressure one to join the conspiracy to lie to the children. They are not content merely to denounce one for saying "it's a play, a pageant", and, if pressed by an inquisitive child "no, I don't believe in Santa", but they pressure one to positively assert the existence of Santa and tell even more florid stories. The scorn and hatred expressed by some such is only relieved when they privately admit they wish to be unburdened of this duty to lie and they secretly admire your own guiltlessness.
15 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
The problem in all this is "believing" in Santa. Whether Christian or Jew, one should concentrate on believing in G-d, not some mythical dispenser of toys. Believing in Santa is idolatry. It looks harmless and seems like fun - until that January credit card bill comes in.
But hey - Christmas is not yet really arrived here in Israel. Most Christians here are Orthodox Christians and have yet to celebrate Christmas on the Julian calendar.
16 - MAOZ
Ruvy#8: "...tastes like shit on a stick..."
Sorry, can't help but ask: just how do you know what shit on a stick tastes like?
17 - troll
come on Moaz...the man is an experiences fast food restaurateur
18 - troll
('experienced' that is)