I've got problems with Santa Claus. I just don't dig his Big Brother parameters. He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good- so be good for goodness sake. Or what?
Much like the modern welfare state, he comes in giving you a little bit of some kind of present, some welfare state crack rock, and so everyone is just pleased as punch to have this bearded freak all up in their business. Hell, between him and Jesus, a fellow can't even get privacy to play with his own ding-a-ling.
For my part, he can stick his goodies back up his chimney. He don't need to be looking in my windows or reading my mind, or whatever it is exactly that he does to get all these databases. Here's the deal: mind your own business, freak, and I'll buy my own toys. Now if I see you peaking in my bedroom window again, I'ma release the hounds.
You know that Santa is an anagram for Satan. Co-incidence?
Article comments
1 - Jonathan
Well.. Someone is getting a lump of coal.
*cough Al /end cough*
2 - Fox Molder
Yah, but we NEED the warp-drive tech that Santa uses to visit every home on the planet in 24 hours, plus the transporter/dematerialization gizmo he uses to get the presents under the tree from the roof. Plus, his sleigh holds all that stuff: is it bigger on the inside than the outside like the Tardis, or is it some sort of storage device accessing another dimension?
Let's face it, if the Terrorists get ahold of Santa's personal toys, freedom SHALL perish from this earth. We should be searching out "Saint" Nick's lair at the North Pole!
Admittedly his spooky surveilance tech combined with Patriot I and Patriot II makes for some scary possibilities after we round up Kris Kringle and his midget (mutant?) geniuses. But what other choice is there?
Let's invade the Artic now!