Well, relationships are generally hard to manage especially when extended family is involved ...either you could play the mother's game and beat her to it and retain your bf or tell him how you feel about everything that seems to be bothering you and see how things go from there.
I would take the second option :)
28 -
stumped
Dec 14, 2005 at 9:22 am
The problem is that he always wants to do what's good and best for everyone. We're already in a relationship with some distance, and the relationship primarily resides at my residence. I'm not at all against him coming to visit with me, but it would be nice to feel that the same is extended to me. Now with his mother living in the middle of his place, that makes our spending time together on his turf a bit tricky... He's talking about moving, but there is some consideration about taking her along, because she refuses to discuss what her short/long-term plans are with regard to her own residence. Actually she refuses to talk at all.
She is not a "nice" person, and upon my first and only interaction with her she was very rude and disrespectful. I know that he doesn't want me to be uncomfortable, so he continues to visit with me.
I asked him how he thinks our relationship can function under such circumstances and I believe he's still working it out in his head... and parents, especially mothers can be tricky...
Mr. Kain, thanks for the advice. Your explanation above has answered a lot of *serious* questions I have had about my Sag spouse over the years; this will help. Interestingly, it also reinforced truths I've learned through 15+ years of fights and rage and court dates and tears and therapy and such. Of course, I'm Scorpio, so that can't help. (Imagine the household: 2 Scorpios, 2 Sag, 1 Taurus. Whoa.)
There may be something to this astrology deal after all...
30 -
confussed
Dec 15, 2005 at 2:35 pm
I know how to spell confused just wanted to spell it that way, anyways. I not having any of that mama drama, just that i have been with this man for a year, i am a leo and when i fall in love i am willing to do whatever for the one i love. But when we first started seeing each other things were ok, then he cheated and i got back by cheating on him, i was not so upset cause my pride just won't let me. But as for him he was very upset. He didn't want to talk to me for a week, so i went on and left him alone. But he calls me back and tried to work things out, things have been going good, it just that i still haven't met the mom, i have met his daughter, but as for the family, i haven't met them yet, met some of his friends. But because his mother is in the hospital it is hard to see her, he tells me that his daugther is the important person in his life, so he would rather me meet her. but i will see the family soon. So now i just leave the subject alone. I let him be, i call about 2 a day, he does the calling and i always drive out to see him. He also told me that he is 28 and he don't want to be 30 or 40 still chasing after women, he just wants to make sure that i don't cheat anymore even though he cheated to. but oh well, i don't know what should i do?
31 -
ehh
Apr 09, 2006 at 12:14 pm
i am an aries and all of dont know what you are talking about
I have been with my sagie for 13 years, Im a Taurus and the road has been a long one for us. Not compatable per say but very attracted to one and other, however what I found about my man is that he is exactly the way everyone here has discribed, in the beginning I would wonder why he didnt want to invite me out with his friends, or why he would irritate me with his know it all attitude. Seemed like everything we did was for him or anything we'd talk about was to revolve around him. Basically I looked at him like a young child who didnt understand the concept of "sharing" with others. He's not much for emotions (Ive only seen him cry 2x in 13 yrs)and doesnt really like it if I show my emotions too much, we are very different but managed to make it work, I just came to understand that people do not have to conform to your expectations for you to be happy, to find happyness with a Sagie, you need to have a life of your own, where you can make your own fullfillment and happyness. Get a few girl friends and make your own fun in life, cause if your placing these expectations on your sagie he'll run run away. Its almost like if you cant bring anything to lifes table for yourself he wont take the time to fill your table either. Kind of like the cat and mouse game, keep the chase going, or he'll get board.I never expected him to marry, a wedding ring is more like a hand cuff for him but 13 years we still are deeply in love, and It took alot of time and some counseling to make me understand, my ideals are not necessarly everyone elses. He flirts I flirt he goes out with his friends, I go out with mine, once in a while we meet in the middle and those are the best times cause we both really WANT to be there. Hope this helps.
OMG I am going through the same thing with this guy. He's a Sag and one times he's nice telling me really nice things (rare), then he tells me he needs time to handle his demons! I'm like what the hell? He doesn't want to commit but if I go out with someone else he gets mad. He said he was selfish but this is crazy. I don't even know why I'm attracted to him. I think i'm a good catch, educated, attractive and a scorpio, but it's like when he's nice, he's really nice, then when he's distant he's so far away. Half the times I can't stop thinking about him, the other half I wish I'd never met him!
35 -
shampan
May 03, 2006 at 6:13 pm
oh my gosh chickie, i am so glad that i ran across this blog site. I m going through the same thing as you, being a taurus with a sag, and all. but my problem is weird because of our age difference. I am 27, and he will be 21 in 8 mths. I am hoping that this wont cause alot of problems in our relationship. I play the cta and mouse to see where he comes from, but he sees through the wool and calls me out on my actions. He is sweet, kind hearted, gentle, sexy and more, but I am afraid that something will go wrong.
A bad thing for us also is a long distance relationship. I am not sure if either one of us will be able to cope. or maybe I should say whether or not I will be able to cope. It sounds like absence will make his heart grow fonder. I have never had so much compassion for someone in a short period of time. I dont know where I am going with this, but I know God will see us through.
36 -
Borei
May 07, 2006 at 11:41 am
i'm a taurus cusp aries, and this apparently does effect me. Up until high school just saw myself as a taurus, but when it came to dating in college, i found that i hated being with all the men who i am suppose to get along with. That's when i realised it. I am a hopeless romantic, but one who craves spontenaity like the aries. Anyway, this is where we get into the topic of the Sag man. I was dating one up unil tonight when i broke it off. Not the first time though, more like the 4th. Each time in the past though, he convinced me to stay in and try. Now haven't met his family either due to a large continental distance. I do speak to his parents however, and this summer was to be the time i'd meet them face to face. If it weren't for the distance, we were supposed to meet during our first year of dating. Our 2yr anniversary just passed, and this is definitely the way to celebrate...NOT! Anyway, he lied a fair bit and that the part that i can't get over. We get along so well though up until i found out about a flinf he had had. I was crushed, and he tried and promised and this time i think he really meant it. His mother suggested that we both seek therapy, and he was more willing than i was. So why did i still break up with him? Well, i read up on the Sag, i know them lie i know my biology text book, and that is why i dumped him. I knew that even if he changed and voluntarily, in the end, he was still a changed person for me. I didn't want to fear remorse later on when all of his senses came back to him. I'm lost though, because he says he loves me, and i know he does, but cheating is such a strange way to show it.
37 -
dilema
May 08, 2006 at 5:43 am
I thought sag are suppose to be honest and loyal?
Im a gemini and have been dating a sag for a year now, the first six months he was always calling, making plans, just very persistent, saying i'm the one he has been always looking for, we have amazing chemistry, but gradually we started talking and seeing each other less and less, when i do speak to him its like nothing has changed, he still loves and misses me can't wait to see me... It's weird behavior, weekends he is always wanting to be around his friends when he is not working. it's not that i mind because after all i am a gemini and i do like my independence and like the rest of you I'm not needy for attention but a little bit of courtesy would be nice...
they like to chase but don't like being chased, they want their freedom but might not need it if given to them, but it feel like the nicer i am and the more i give, the more he take advantage, and your seen as a pushover... like him i have my WANTS too, so why should i make all the effort, it's called being fair and able to compromise like a adult...i have admit i do have a loud roar when the gemini in me snaps, he gets scared lol..
38 -
keekee
May 08, 2006 at 6:05 am
ladies, look up your partners venus and mars sign, these are the plants that rule sex, romance and love and marriage. the sun sign is the black and white definition of who you are dating.
39 -
linda
May 08, 2006 at 6:06 am
confussed, maybe there is something wrong with his mother that he is ashamed of, maybe she is in a mental hospital, or sick enough to not want to see anyone. you said you met his daughter right? as a therapist i will say this, most single parents, specially if divorced will not introduce their child to the person they are dating unless it is serious, most will introduce their parents over a child, because a child IF grown close, and IF there is a split will have a hard time coping.
40 -
Borei
May 08, 2006 at 1:44 pm
Have any of the other saggs cheated? And does anybody really know why. Also, thank you KeeKee. I will check that out.
Also, do you think that a sag may be in love with the idea of love, or does he actually love the person on the recieving end of those 3 word? And if so, are they the type who love more than one at a time?
i am a taurus woman in my late 30's and he is a sag (40). Do older sags tend to commit more and make better family men then younger men?
I have met his entire family including his children. we all get along well.
we are having a child together.
Is it possible for these 2 signs to really work out?
How do I figure out his mars/venus sign?
really need help with this. thank you
42 -
B
May 10, 2006 at 11:59 pm
Hi Taurus 30, ur welcome to scold me if u feel this is an inappropriate title, but i just thought i'd tell u about the other signs. Iff u want to look up the other signs, i recommend ivillage astrology, or u can simply type in "moon sign" in the search space on google. A buffet of sites will pop up. I prefer ivillage, because it is convenient but i also like to look at other sites, as ivillage can be quite frosted and always positive. i like to look at both the pros and cons myself. Good luck.
43 -
keekee
May 15, 2006 at 6:42 pm
Go to http://www.alabe.com/freechart/
type in there info and you will get their full chart
44 -
Lost in Space
May 15, 2006 at 9:48 pm
Wow... glad you guys brought this subject up. I'm an Aries, and was involved with a Sagittarius male, and everything I'm reading was exactly his personality. He couldn't commit, wasn't able to control his drinking, needed to be "on" in a group or a bar all the time in order to be the center of attention, and could say some of the nastiest things to people, thinking he was being brutally honest. I have a female friend who also is a Sag with the same characteristics (although she eats in excess rather than drinks). The thing I had the hardest time with was that both of these individuals' lives were a mess, but they were unable to look at their own "stuff" and kept pointing their fingers at everyone else.
Sex with my ex was incredible... we were really matched in that way, and he could be incredibly sweet sometimes. But the relationship broke off after three years because he couldn't make any kind of commitment toward the future. Looking back, it felt as though he'd only been able to invest a small part of himself in the relationship and then held back the rest.
45 -
Lost in Space
May 15, 2006 at 9:56 pm
Oh yeah, addendum: We also broke up because in three years he would only come to my apartment and never invited me to his (well, once, for twenty or thirty minutes, when his nephews were coming into town). There was always an excuse. When we ended things, I told him it felt as though I'd opened up myself to him in letting himself stay at my place, but that he couldn't do the same for me.
What's this deal with Sag people and not letting people into their living spaces? It seems to be a common thread here.
46 -
parker
May 16, 2006 at 11:30 pm
my Sag doesn't have a problem letting me in his space, he wants me there all the time. He does drink excessively though, i guess they like to over due everything, there is no happy medium. i'm a Sag myself and i do know we are private people, we observe others but dont want to give too much of ourself. most Sag i know are pretty open with their space.
47 -
borei
May 21, 2006 at 10:15 am
WOAH! Thanks to everybody who continued with the comments. It's all very interesting. I gotta say alot of it sounds like my man, but alot also is nothing like him. So now, i'm concerend that it has yet to come out.
Anyway, he's been sweet to me from day one. I find him and i are so into eahother, and we're always happy together. We moved in together after about 6months of dating, and then got engaged a year after that.
The only real problem with him is that he has cheated twice and with women i never imagined him to be with. He says i am beautiful and extremely sexy, and that i am his life love in every aspect. So, if this is the case, why did he cheat? He blames his insecurities for the first incident, and then urge and weekness due to distance, he is in HI and i am in Cambodia.
So what i wanna know is, when a sag says something, should i believe him? If he says he wants "U" then does that mean you, or u for now?
48 -
Stumped
May 23, 2006 at 2:16 pm
I've been offline for a bit. I am still stumped yet can't understand why I can't get this man out of my life. I break up with him, he'll call to see how I am... He keeps one foot in the door at all times. I love him dearly, but the inconsistencies are maddening. I never knew that one sign of the Zodiac could be a problem for sooooo many. Are sags really compatible with anyone. I told my guy that we need to share places, spaces, friends, etc...
His response is I understand and agree. Yet there is no action. Just one excuse after another. He claims to love me so much, but refuses to share his life... not that it's that big in the first place.
Won't commit, yet won't let me go... the saga continues
49 -
loli
May 25, 2006 at 8:03 pm
they are all just a bunch of charmers who really feel what is happening at the moment but as soon as you're a part they forget, and make it out like oh whats wrong i thought we were doing great.
i'm a sag myself and i don't act this way. my advice ladies go find yourself another man and keep them both so you don't drive yourself crazy when he is out chasing skirts. and when he realizes that you are not on him like before, he'll come chasing you once again.
yes, I dated a sag and I/m a leo..He was head over heels with me in the beginning. love letters, telling me he loved me, you all that stuff. A few months later all that went away. He started seeing someone else. A sag is very emotional, caring and giving but only thinks of themselves. They tend to have psychological problems also, so women beware. I would never date a Sag again. They are like wild horses, can't be trusted.
Hello, I posted a while ago about my being a Taurus woman and my bf being a Sag. He was born on November 24...it seems that he has a lot more Scorpio in him...is this possible? He was married to his X for over 17 years and with me now. We're having a baby but it seems to me that he gets stuck between the 2 signs. I was wondering if he could truly commit to this relationship and our baby. He has 2 other children from that mariage. Here's what I read about Scorpio and boy does it sound like him. Any other SAGS out there that have mor Scorpio in them? And if so, does that mean it IS possible for a SAG to commit and be faithful?? Here's the quote:
"Scorpio man
The male Scorpion is famous for his sexiness " and his deadly sting! He’s often reserved and self-controlled, but once he’s involved he is an intense and committed lover. He can get so obsessed with a woman that jealousy takes over and, like Othello, he misreads the signs and sees betrayal in every innocent situation. Not one to trifle with: he can be totally faithful, but he’s so full of secrets, you never really know."
I'm sorry this is so long but thought some of you would find this interesting...My SAG was born on Nov 24 so somewhat on the Scorpio/Sag cusp.
Ok someone above gave a link to this chart thing and this is what it said about my SAG bf.
My question is.....does this mean he can be loyal and committed??
Hi there, here is the interpretation of the astrological chart that you asked for. Also attached is a .GIF graphic file which depicts your chart wheel. Thank you for visiting the Astrolabe WEB site at http://alabe.com This report has been created especially for you. It represents your Unique picture at the time you were born and at the place you were born. If you are unsure of the exact time of day of your birth (or the date or the place), the reading will probably not seem as accurate as it could be in certain places, but other parts will seem to be very appropriate. You will notice at certain places in the reading that contradictory information seems to be given. This is to be expected, because the personality of most people is extremely complex. For example, at times we are quite shy and at other times we are very aggressive, and so forth. You will also notice that, at certain points in the reading, certain patterns may be repeated over and over, especially in a longer more detailed report than this one. This is also to be expected. This simply means that your horoscope has an extremely strong focus on this particular pattern and that you should pay extra close attention to what is said about it. Now, on with your Report!
Name: Jon
November 24 1966
10:35 PM Time Zone is PST
Glendora, CA
Rising Sign is in 22 Degrees Leo
You love to be the center of attention and you want to appear strong, confident and dominant. You are very proud of yourself, sometimes quite vain even. When all around you are bedraggled and falling apart, you look like a million bucks! Very dignified and honorable, you enjoy the power and privilege, but not the responsibilities, that come with leadership. You are very idealistic but can also be quite stubborn. Others impress you only if they have integrity (but wealth, power and influence can also turn your head). You prefer rich, elegant surroundings and possessions, and will try to acquire them as your budget allows. Physically, you are very impressive - - at your best you have a regal, charismatic demeanor and bearing. Try not to be such a showoff!
Sun is in 02 Degrees Sagittarius.
Very fun-loving, spirited and energetic, you have a huge reservoir of physical energy within you that needs to be released. As such, exercise or sports are very important to you. Quite gregarious, you enjoy being with other people, but you tend to avoid emotionally restrictive or intimate relationships. Constantly curious about the broader issues of life, you may at times be quite careless and sloppy about details -- you tend to leap to conclusions before all the facts are in. An avid reader, you are totally enthusiastic about any given subject should it interest you. You are known for being idealistic, generous, sociable, cheerful and very positive!
Moon is in 29 Degrees Aries.
High-spirited and courageous, you are a fighter when your emotions are aroused. The degree of force and drive that you can bring to any effort sometimes surprises others. You have hair-trigger reactions to specific stimuli and tend to "let it all hang out." You sometimes act before you think and do things on the spur of the moment, and that sometimes gets you into trouble. Your moods change quickly -- you have quite a temper, but you don't hold grudges. Very independent, with an extremely strong and forceful personality, you are known for being impulsive, careless, reckless, foolhardy, rash and daring.
Mercury is in 17 Degrees Scorpio.
You are a born investigator. You are fascinated by secrets and mysteries and unanswered questions of any kind. When you become upset or angry, your emotional reactions are overpowering -- reason and logic disappear in an uncontrollable passionate outburst. You tend to keep your thoughts secret and bottled up and this makes others regard you with suspicion. It is not that you are trying purposely to be evasive, it is just that you would rather not deal with the explosions and hassles that often occur when you reveal your true feelings and opinions. Your sense of humor tends toward sarcasm and irony.
Venus is in 06 Degrees Sagittarius.
You are very aware of the need to maintain a high sense of morality in a relationship. Your loyalty and interest will remain constant in any relationship (either friendly, personal or business) that is based on fairness, honesty and justice. But you will become greatly hurt and disappointed if the other person takes any but the high road with you. Also, you cannot tolerate anyone being overly emotionally possessive of you. You are known for your friendly, outspoken manner.
Mars is in 25 Degrees Virgo.
Very careful and systematic, you pay great attention to details. You are always seeking perfection and sometimes get bogged down searching for the ultimate when adequacy would have been sufficient. You dislike abstractions, preferring whatever is practical, useful and demonstrable. You have a strong and enduring sense of personal responsibility, and you demand that others be as responsible and upright as you are. Very critical of yourself and others, sometimes you carry this too far and become overly intolerant of others and their right to choose their own lifestyles.
Jupiter is in 04 Degrees Leo.
You must be proud of all that you do in order to grow and develop. You enjoy being totally honest and aboveboard and you revel in the admiration and respect you receive from others due to your high- minded, upright way of life. Make sure, though, that your natural tendency to boast and show off is based on your actual accomplishments. Don't fall prey to self-exaggeration or arrogance. You truly do like outrageous spectacles and grand jolly times and will go out of your way to make them a reality.
Saturn is in 22 Degrees Pisces.
Your tendency to think that your life is out of control is based on an unreasonable fear, probably connected with an unfortunate experience with the person who filled the father figure role in your early life. Learn to take responsibility here and now for your own life. Try to stop having unrealistic expectations about guide figures. Remember that they are merely human, with all the same faults and self-doubts that you have. When you get confused or uncertain, try to simplify your lifestyle -- things will then become easier to bear.
Uranus is in 23 Degrees Virgo.
You, and all your peers, will be known for the degree of intensity with which you dislike normal everyday routines and chores. You will go out of your way to invent innovative, unique and timesaving ways to perform the various mundane routines and duties of living. You will be attracted to all manner of practical and useful gadgets -- anything that will make your daily life more exciting.
Neptune is in 22 Degrees Scorpio.
You, and your entire generation, are extremely interested in anything deep and mysterious. You will explore and idealize the benefits that can accrue from the study of the occult, healing and psychology. You are willing to experiment with substances like drugs in order to push your understanding of your inner being to the extreme.
Pluto is in 20 Degrees Virgo.
For your entire generation, this will be a time when profound changes in society's attitude toward work, duty and responsibility will be initiated. Radical changes in attitudes toward personal health and general nutrition will be promulgated and gain wide acceptance and practice.
N. Node is in 16 Degrees Taurus.
It's not in your nature to seek out many casual acquaintances in your daily round of activities. You feel much more comfortable with a small, close-knit group of people -- those with whom you can relax and work toward known and clearly defined goals. Your loyalty to a person or group, once given, is forever -- you'll expend all of your quite considerable energy in seeing that the group stays together and prospers. You choose your partners and relationships so carefully that you're bound to gain certain advantages from them, including those of a material nature. Be careful though not to let mere self-service be your motivation in establishing your connections -- make sure that there's an even give-and-take!
53 -
DualFish
Jun 21, 2006 at 1:42 pm
I've been with a Sagittarius female on/off for 3 years; I'm a Pisces female. We're almost 4 years apart in age; I'm older, and we're neither young chickens. She approached me to chat me up first, but I only wanted us to be friends because I 'sensed' (Pisces intuition!) we wouldn't make a good couple. Friendship was all I wanted, but she was convinced she was in love with me and wouldn't hear take a 'no' for an answer. So she pursued a relationship with me for NINE months and finally convinced me to give it a go. As I read the posts on here, I see the "pursuit" thing with Sagittarians is common enough and when they do catch you and get comfortable, their romantic gestures seem to cool off. Sagittarians seem to like me a lot (I have moon in Sag). Anyhow, I have similar problems that many of you address with regard to Sag: commitment issues, won't bring me around friends/family (we've broken up a million times over this), but wants to hang out with my friends/family...makes lots of promises that she can't keep, wants her freedom but then claims I don't commit to her (she has Taurus moon and Scorpio Venus/Gemini Mars)...so she wants commitment, but prefers to have me do all the work. When things are good between us, they're great. When they're bad, they're horrible. We're both stubborn and strong-willed (I have Venus AND Mars in Taurus, counteracting her Taurus Moon). Her chart is ruled by Saturn (Capricorn rising) and mine is ruled by Pluto (Scorpio rising). LOTS of strong planets between us, but I have 'given in' to her more often than I'd like, because she can be SO pushy and demanding, and yes...even emotionally manipulative...crying, yelling, screaming, begging, pleading...anything to get 'her way'...so I sometimes just want to maintain peace. BUT, we've had some LOUD fights (typically not even my style, but with this Sag...oh yes!) because I won't say 'yes' at all times--which aggravates her. But, OH WELL. And three years into it...yes, we keep going back/forth but I've really reached the end of my rope. We're barely standing on one leg here, and I'm ready to head for the hills. I love her dearly...but she makes me a little crazy and I feel I have no stability with her; funny thing is, she accuses me of the same, though she's the one who often cancels plans, won't include me in her life, takes jobs that take her out of state for months...etc. On top of that, every time she gets me to agree to 'commit' to her, she pulls out of at the last minute. We've had some really painful break ups and its cost both of lots of tears and heartache--mine, more genuine than hers, I'm sorry to say, because I do believe at this point that she enjoys the 'romantic' drama. She loves to 'romance' me..until she's comfortable. Then she becomes lazy and complacent and takes me for granted, until I threaten to leave...and then she's back on her 'good' behavior until, well..the next time that she becomes lazy/complacent. But, apparently, I'm the one with "commitment issues"--right.
Anyway, I went googling on how to get Sag's to commit...I know, isn't that desperate??? See what this sign drives me to do? :) I came across this page through google and it's been comforting, and yet depressing at the same time, to read the posts here. At least I know I'm not alone in my Sag limbo..but seems there's very little hope at times. I think with work, WE could work..but like a childish Sag (sorry other Sag's, but it's true)...she is not too fond of doing the work and just hopes things "will work out"...somehow. Ah, me. One of us has to be the grown up in this, anf frankly, I'm tired of always taking care of her needs...but, you know...only time will tell where things will head from here on end. Would love to hear feedback on friends/family issue...why Sag's are so stubborn in letting you in on their inner circle, even if they claim to be in love with you and have been dating you for THREE years. Thoughts/feedback?
Thank you.
DualFish
54 -
Libragal
Jun 27, 2006 at 1:24 pm
Hi All
I'm a Libra woman and when I was much younger I dated a Sag. He cheated on me more than once and as I had little experience with men, I tolerated it but eventually gave up. He drank excessively and couldn't hold his liquour but when he was sweet, he was very sweet. I also spent a fair amount of time with his family.
The thing is that I have now met another Sag guy and I'm wondering if history is going to repeat itself. It's holding me back from him although it's early days yet.
55 -
borei
Jul 10, 2006 at 5:08 am
SO,i am still confused as ever, and in short would just like the clearest answer possible..."can a sag be honest and faithful?'"
56 -
D
Jul 13, 2006 at 3:35 pm
Guys....firstly..EVERYTHING ..all your comments about saggis is 100% true..im a leo...but i am not the dating kinds...i prefer to be in my life and work...but a chance meeting with a saggi guy..turned my life around...i wasnt interested in him AT ALL at first ...but this guy would just call and ask me out persistantly (great chasers)...i was rude...cut him off for 2 weeks and it didnt work..the charm finally worked...and very soon we met up and before i knew it got physical (though am from a very conservative upbringing..)...one thing about sagis...extremely slick when it comes to sex..they know exactly how to work it...and how to go about smoothly giving maximum pleasure to their partners..but after a few days..when he had all the entertainment(i talk a lot) he needed...the sex he got...he completely disappered..he wouldnt call or pick up my calls...he called later but i was very rude and cut him off...the thing about saggi men..its all a game...till the chase its fine...but then they are out for a new excitement...i wudnt be surprised if he cheats...he a heavy drinker gambler...and basically an escapist and a WEAK personality...they just dont wanna face anything and want to have the easy way out in life...but saggi's r supoosed to have good luck so they tend to get away through their seeming nonchalance and directness...they have double standards too..like some of u say...they cant take u cheating on them..but they have the full right...basically they dont care....and i feel everyone ..all signs should stay away from this illusion...if u dont wanna get hurt
57 -
DualFish
Jul 14, 2006 at 12:39 pm
Alright...so back to my Sag (woman). Women, men..makes no difference, you all. I've dated a Sag man--he was a male "ho", just greedy with sex all over the place--and a Sag woman...well, she's more conservative, but at the VERY least, as far as I know, she's been emotionally unfaithful...hooking up with people via cyberspace and then being caught (by me) and promising all sorts of things, including a stable, long-term relationship, and not being able to hold up her end of the deal. After 3 years of excessive investment in the most bottomless pit of a person, I've given up on this Sag woman. Sure, she can be charming, fun when she wants (and nasty and mean as all hell when she doesn't get her way), generous when she wants to be (and stingy, when not in the mood), and full of promises (that she never kept), and a GREAT chaser...she chased me for NINE months before I gave in and went out on a date with her--they're persistent and sooooo sweet when they want something from you, but when the fun and games are over to them, b'bye, they're gone in a flash. But in the end, a Sag is ALL about control of others, and lack of responsibility when it comes to him/herself. They want to do whatever it is they want to do, double-standards ALL over the place (don't you DARE cheat on them, but they can do it and then say, 'but it didn't mean anything'--right), and when it comes down to putting their money where their mouth is (meaning, keeping promises or being responsible to someone else other than themselves), forget it. Doesn't happen. Will not happen. Sagittarians are knows to be the most immature, irresponsible, self-indulgent, game-playing, unreliable, insensitive, and insecure sign of the zodiac, and no matter your own astrological sign (I'm a Pisces, but I have a very strong chart with lots of Taurus, Aries, and Scorpio in there)...they will trump you every time. Why? Because they don't live by anyone else's rules but their own. And those rules change ALL the time. And, oh yea, they often happen to forget to mention that the rules of the 'game' have changed (yes, they treat love as a game), so you're left scratching your head, pulling out your hair, screaming at the top of your lungs, or crying your heart out. If you're smart, you'll actually run for the hills.
So yes, I've given it a whirl--with both the men and the women of this sign--and no, they cannot be in a relationship. They just don't understand the idea of commitment, responsibility, monogamy, fairness, equality, sharing, sensitivity...all the stuff necessary to make a relationship successful.
Best of luck to anyone who wants to give one of these fair-weathered lovers a try. Yes, you'll probably have fun in the bedroom, but realize that's as good as gets--it's all fun and games, so if you lose your heart to one of these chumps...my sympathies.
DualFish
58 -
JC
Jul 18, 2006 at 5:10 pm
Wow, these comments are scary. Every single thing you all are saying about Sag's is true. I am a leo woman involved with a Sag man.
I can relate to the intensity in the beginning months. A complete whirlwind of charm and intellect and attention bestowed upon me to make me feel like the ultimate queen.
Then slowly, that starts to dwindle and you have to beg for a return call, you have to beg for a date, beg for attention. I am desperately trying to give him his feedom. I was in a complete manic state at first. I would persistently call a million times if he didn't respond and have to hunt him down just to confirm if he will see me.
Now after reading up on Sag and their needs, I realize I need to step back and leave him be. Indulge in my own interest, lead my life and fill it up to the point where he is not the focus.
I truly believe, that once you have a fulfilled life and do not chase, or hound the Sag, he will maintain interest because he will be thrown off by your indifference.
We'll see if I can keep this cool exterior up for long.
I'm an emotional leo that needs attention and praise and I don't want to beg for it!
59 -
DualFish
Jul 20, 2006 at 3:19 pm
JC--I feel your pain. And though I'm not a Leo (though many think I am, for some reason! :)...I became soooo attention-starved in my Sag relationship that I started to feel 'needy'. ME! I'm usually the one who likes her freedom, does her own thing, and wants good, quality times with a significant other. But with the Sag, that kind of consistency and attention was soooo scarce as time went by, whether I gave her plenty of freedom or asked to see her...that I started to wonder what's wrong with me. I'm a very confident person, and basically, what was at work with my Sag (and most Sag's, as I understand, want to feel 'in control), was that I'd get to see her when SHE felt like it. On HER schedule. Dependong on HER mood. And if I said 'boo' about it, I'd get the old, "Ok, I need my SPACE, I feel suffocated". It was a standard response that often made me feel I'd done something wrong, but I realized the underlying 'threat' was this: You don't do things as I want them, and I'm leaving. Well, then, bye!
When she felt like seeing me, and if I didn't or couldn't because I had other plans or things to do, she'd beg and plead and cry and barter and make all sorts of promises to get her way. SO pushy. If I stuck to my guns, I received 'guilt' texts, "I guess you don't love me the same anymore" and such. In reverse, when she'd agree to a normal date with me, when it'd get closer to the date night, she'd pull all sorts of excuses to cancel. She needed her 'space'. I came to a place of not even fighting about it, going, "Ok, fine, no problem". How much can you fight that? You just get tired. And then the MINUTE I'd be okay with her canceling, she'd call a couple of hours later and say, "Wanna come over?" Please. Why? Because SHE said so. And that's how I spent three years of my life, scratching my head, going, "I don't get it".
Freedom a-plenty you may give them, and then they complain, "I want to feel needed by you sometimes, too, you know!" And then if I'd ask for something that didn't fit her specific mood, or agenda, or whatever, it'd be, "Good lord, give me my space, will you?" And THIS from a woman whom, when I'd get sick of this back and forth and say, "See ya, never!"...she'd come chasing after me, begging and pleading, showing up at my house uninvited, to beg and say, "I want to win you back! I love you!" Okay, whatever. Perhaps she was more the 'extreme' case of the Sag, but based on other posts I'm reading here...maybe not.
I know that while you're with these types of people, and you're 'in love' that you think there'll never be another and that maybe something is wrong with you, and you need to bend and twist and pretzel yourself into what makes THEM happy, so that they'll stick around. But after much heartache and time wasted on my part, I came to see that my needs are valid, that it's NORMAL to want to spend a couple of days a week with my significant other, without it becoming a Federal case or a source of power play or flakiness for her, and hurt, rejection and confusion for me. I SHOULD get attention from my partner, same as I'm willing to give them. Why settle for ANYTHING less than you want? Life is too short. What if any of us fall down and die tomorrow (heaven's forbid!)...then what did we learn of love and support of a significant other? Nothing, not with this type of Sag lameness.
Besdies, I look at it this way, too: I shouldn't even be searching websites, looking to understand why a certain person doesn't treat me right. I mean, if any of these people were treating us like an equal partner, would we even be here, trying to make excuses for their lame behavior that leaves us feeling abandoned, unloved, and confused as to what it is that WE are doing? I don't think so. Is wanting to spend time with our significant others, to be a part of their lives, to get to know and share their friends and families, as much as they share ours...a ridiculous demands? NO. So why put up with it? Yes...love. But that can easily become a bitter pill, if you end up wondering the very same things, asking the very same questions, year after year...and realize, wow, now I've invested SO much time and I STILL have nothing to show for it. Are they all that, really? Forget those initial 'romantic,' sweep you off your feet, intense attention and adulation days...that's just how a 'chaser' operates. Once the prey is caught, it loses its luster. Sure, if you want to play hid and seek the rest of your life so that the Sag can feel they're chasing and stick around...go ahead. I know I don't want to be playing games. I want to live my life, and I want my life to be happy, stable, and secure. And I did not find that with a Sag.
Hope you have more success with your Sag, JC. I know that I could not take it anymore. Fun, this sign can be, when they feel like it...but I don't need a part-time lover who makes me crazy and doubt myself, as if my basic needs in a partnership are outlandish and 'asking for too much'.
So keep yourself centered and keep reminding yourself: it's OKAY to want love and companionship. It's not okay to have to beg for it. And if someone makes you do so, then you don't want them in your life that badly, now..do you?
Keep us posted!
DualFish
60 -
JC
Jul 20, 2006 at 5:27 pm
Wow,
DualFish you hit it dead on! Power Plays, mind games, dates and plans scheduled around their time, catering to their moods and always leaving space and room for them to feel they can flee. No pressure, no responsibility in the relationship.
The line about having to bend and pretzel myself into this easy going, flighty, nonchalant girl who caters to his whims is so dead on!
It's true. When I get fed up and say I want a man who's attentive, who acts as if this relationship means something, that's when the drama comes.
The intense "I love you, I would die for you, You know your my soulmate" comes out. Why don't Sag's act like they are appreciative of the gems that come into their life.
They have so much spark and fun and that's what draws the special people to them because they are quite rare and make you feel like your on a cloud with their wit and intelligence and striking presense, but dammit that's not enough!!!
I know I'm special, but I never take my relationship for granted. I give him gifts, remember his birthday, cook for him, rub his back check in on him, etc.
I am the one who carries the relationship when it comes to effort. I cannot see myself even planning a trip with this man or even introducing him to my family, he wouldn't show up! Some chaotic event would happen and he'd have to be in another state and just say "Sorry baby".
Important stuff like having your man with you throughout the week and bringing him to certain events with you as your Significant other. As your confidant it's just not possible. The grace you with their presence when they want. When it's convienient for them.
He never says - Hey baby I want to see you. When's a good time to come over. I have to ask, baby when will I see you I want to see you. He says - "when" and like a punk who wants to be the good girlfriend, I say "Whatever day is good for you".
I need a man to show effort and make me feel sexy and special, like I'm worthy of having someone make a fuss over me.
That's why I have gone on dates with other men and have even been intimate with another man 3x, but no matter what, nobody else has the spark that fire and passion I see when we are together and that's what I keep hanging on to. That's what has me hooked.
This man's magnetism is so intense that even when I'm pissed and in the arms of another man, the next day, I wonder where he is and what he's doing and when I will see him.
This is insane.
61 -
duane
Jul 20, 2006 at 10:29 pm
Good grief.
Carry on.
62 -
DualFish
Jul 21, 2006 at 3:41 pm
JC--I went through the same exact thing with my Sag. SAME. No effort on her part to really make plans with me, very flakey, forget planning trips, I couldn't even get her to follow-through on a movie date. We'd buy movie tickets online for the same evening, and I'm en route to her house, and get a call, "Babe, would you be upset if I canceled? I don't feel well"...at a constant. And the drama...oh did it skyrocket when I'd get fed up and walk out the door.
I haven't talked to mine in a week. I just pulled the plug on the whole thing because I felt so disrespected and taken for granted--please, WHO needs that? And wouldn't you know it? She has been calling and calling and calling and saying, "Please call me, I love you. I don't want 'things' to be this way". Well, really? Heard THAT one a million times over the past 3 years and the only one who changed was ME...taking on the burden for TWO in a so-called relationship. Yes, and I used to go out on dates each time we'd "break up" (cuz I got fed up) but the next day, I'd wonder what she was up to. The thing is, they have a 'way' about them that can make you feel like a Princess, it all seems so fairy tale at first. But then it goes away and comes back sporadically and it's what kept me hooked in. You fall in love with the "image" they present, and build your feelings around that, but I find this particular sign to be rather shallow emotionally and selfish, too, so while we might hurt because they're self-serving, they're all, "What's the big deal?" My broken heart, you dumb a**! I just cannot do it anymore.
I hear you on carrying the weight of the relationship! I'd do same, always suggest activities, make plans, take care of her, look after her, rub her back, check in with her to make sure all's well. Do you think it was reciprocated? No. In fact, she'd sometimes even bite the hand that fed her--mine--if I'd make her dinner..next day I'd get a call that she feels things are "moving too fast" and can we slow it down? I'd be confused. We only had dinner. What's "fast"? And this, after 2.5 years together!! And then I'd pull away, and emotionally distance myself to prevent more hurt for me, and she'd chase after me and go, "But I love you, I want to SEE you." Then one good date, and after that, business as usual.
Yes, my Sag can be very charming too...but looking at it as far as long-term plans go...I realized this was a one-way street, bottomless pit and it was going nowhere. I was trying to "build" something with her, a future (and she called me her "soulmate" and "love of her life" too)...but she was just in it for the easy ride. NO, thanks.
It's exhausting. I don't want to feel like a pretezel anymore. I know my own worth and I have plenty of options. And my heart finally "got it"...I'm out. Thank goodness.
I'm sorry you're dealing with the same thing. And as intense as this man may be, remember, if you sometimes get too close to fire, you get burnt. And in the case of these folks, have the emotional 911 on speed dial, and take up permanent residence in the Heartbreak Hotel. No good came out of mine. I hope some does of yours, but don't bet on it. Remember--ACTIONS speak louder than words. If someone says they love you but don't give you love, or show you love...is it really love?
Look to actions; ignore the words.
And stay out of the insane asylum. :)
Keep posting--it helps to see things more clearly. Honest.
DualFish
63 -
J
Jul 24, 2006 at 4:32 am
I am a female Sag in her thirties with a Scorpio moon and will cop to fitting many of the descriptions of my sun sign that I am reading here. I make a much better friend or casual partner than serious companion. Any situation that makes me feel trapped or tied down will bring out the worst in me, period.
HOWEVER....the most deceitful, pompous, the rules-don't-apply-to-me cheating liar of a person I ever knew was not a Sag- he was a Cancer with a Gemini moon. And a Leo woman I was once friends with was a gossipy, manipulative witch who thought she was better than everyone else. I love Cancers and respect their genuine instincts to protect and nurture, but they can be absolute bitches who attack you when your guard is down- the men too.
I know Saggies are the ones being discussed here, but please let's not forget all the signs have their dark sides!
64 -
BT
Jul 25, 2006 at 11:20 am
This is for J,
I respect ur comment immensely, and therefore i have a question just for u. I am so glad to see a sag in here, cuz who better to know a sag's personality than a sag herself.
Anyway, i do agree that we all have our positive traits as well as negative(which is not as available in books as it should be), and i have heard so much grime o this sign. Now, my man has been quite different from all that has been described. He's been wonderful, and together we have great times. We moved in together after 3months of dating, and what started as just casual fun turned into couple love. I never anticipated all that has occured, and today when i look at him, i still love him because he gives me reason to adore him.
Anyway, enough sappy details. Straight to the point, he cheated. He cheated with a woman who worked on base. I asked him why, and he said cuz he was scared. I asked of what, and he replied with what seemed like a genuine answer. He was scared of his future. He said he had never been so in love, but at the same time so nervous. At the time i was a dancer, and he he said that he felt threatend by my work. Anyway, we got past it and it is now 2.5yrs later. We're still happy when we're together, but when we r apart for a while, i begin to wonder about him.
So J, please let me know just whether a sag can be faithful? And let's assume that the sag is really in love, can he/she really be honest and monogomous?
Thanks, i hope to get a reply from u J.
65 -
JC
Jul 26, 2006 at 11:04 am
I have a question for everyone has dealt with a male Sag. How did you find them in intimate situations? I find them extremely charming and seductive but in regard to technique the actual "intercourse" doesn't last very long. I read that they are very good for "oral massages" but the actual sex is not intense, it can be good but very quick.
Is this true in your case? And if this is true? Why do they have so many woman and can't stick with one, eventhough they are not intensely sexual?
66 -
DualFish
Jul 27, 2006 at 1:03 pm
JC--from experience, I find both male and female Sags to be rather impatient in all arenas, including the sexual one. They like the build up, but when it comes down to completing the "task"...they become selfish and get very focused on their own pleasure in the end. Wham, bam...you know how it goes. And you're right; the actual sex does end up being quite quick--male and female alike (trust me).
Why do they have so many women? Because they can be fun, charming, in a sort of naive/innocent way (at first). Why can't they stick with one? They're like kids in a candy store...can't pick just one flavor and move on. They get greedy and want to try everything, and even when they do, they can't make up their minds. They're like big kids...never wanna grow up. I think they have a serious case of the Peter Pan syndrome! :) Also, Sag is a mutable sign, like my own sign (Pisces), which means we change and adapt to any given situation. However, while Pisces like me are an emotional water sign and follow their hearts and tend to stick with one mate, Sags are mutable fire signs...so they sizzle, then fizzle. Minds change DAILY...
Sags usually end up settling down much later in life...sometimes, not at all. Of course a lot of it depends on their entire astro chart (Moon, Venus, Mars, Mercury), but with a dominant fire sign such as Sag, don't expect a commitment...at least, not a long-term one.
Incidentally, for those who have been following my Sag story on this board...I ended things with my Sag almost 2 weeks ago, and she wrote me an email, telling me how she is sorry that she couldn't make up her mind about what she wants. I ignored her. That's what you do when you break-up with someone who's been a jerk. Three days ago, she wrote ANOTHER email, begging me to come back to her, because she loves me soooo much! She does this EVERY time. And when I have returned...we went on the same roller coaster ride, only to end up where we are now--not together again.
See what I mean? They can't stick to anything, even their own decisions. And they love the chase, but the spoils of the game are never as interesting to them.
That's how it goes...
DualFish
67 -
JC
Jul 28, 2006 at 3:29 pm
Right on the money again Dualfish!!!!!!
The build-up is so sexy so seductive, but their actual technical expertise is lacking. The slow steady grind to withold orgasm is not in them.
They start and then 5-10 minutes later they are done. It feels great because they are passionate and saying all the right fiery erotic things in your ear to make you feel like a true lioness, but it only last for a litte while.
They are so charming and come off so sexy and sensuous but the duration and stamina is lacking.
Yet and still I can't get enough.
Again, I say - This is insane
68 -
Daisy
Jul 31, 2006 at 10:54 am
Where's Stumped.
I'm all caught up in the drama of the mother issue. I'm a sag. too. Dec. 21...not a young chick.
Stumped, try this.
I know the first encounter with mom did not go well, but consider the situation when you met. Nothing would please your sag. man more than giving a genuine effort to get to know mom. Try inviting them both over for a homecooked dinner. Watch how he responds to your effort, even if mom's attitude doesn't change. It may help things to turn around where she is concerned. If not it's time to move on. It has been over a year and you have your life to live without holding out on something that may never happen.
Just a sag. women's opinion.
Also, I have a Virgo rising which makes my chart a little different.
69 -
Daisy
Aug 01, 2006 at 3:12 pm
Hey all,
I wonder how a sag.woman would get along with a sag. man. Would we be a match made in heaven or would it be a disaster.
Daisy
70 -
JC
Aug 01, 2006 at 5:30 pm
Just an update.
I've ended it. No more sagittarius. I will date another one if it was presented to me the right way, but this one did not acknowlede what he had.
I'm through. I txt him a nasty message sayin "You couldn't last 2 weeks without going back to treating me like sh**.
Then changed my phone number.
I'm done completely. No going back. Nothing of substance to go back to.
71 -
DualFish
Aug 02, 2006 at 5:05 am
Awww, JC...(((hugs)))
I'm sorry, hon. You're brave to do this now. Good on you not to wait so long that you don't know your head from your feet, before calling it quits. I know how it feels, as I've ended mine, too. Been two weeks--TOUGH two weeks--but who wants to be treated like sh** is right!!!
Good idea to change your #. I might follow your lead and do the same with mine any day now.
You WILL be okay. No one deserves to be treated badly...and no matter how "charming" these people can be, if heartless and without substance, OUT they go.
Be well.
DualFish
72 -
Daisy
Aug 02, 2006 at 11:07 am
J.C.
Feel really badly for you.
I guess most sag. men are no good, dirty, rotten, ...... but some of us sag. feel really badly about that.
Don't turn down trying another sag. if the opportunity presents itself. He may be the perfect attentive man....a keeper.
I'm a sag. women and can't find the right combination for me. Maybe it's because I've picked two capricorn husbands...what was I thinking!
Daisy
73 -
JC
Aug 07, 2006 at 11:01 am
Another question.
Did Sagittarius people have a tendancy to give elaborate, dramatic stories as to why you hadn't heard from them in days.
Like a sucker, my Sagittarius showed up at my house because I changed my number and told me I hadn't heard from him, because his child was missing in Georgia and he couldn't tell me, because his head was messed up.
Not only did I reconcile, I gave him money to fly to Georgia to be with his child
DualFish: I see this merry go round lasting a while. I can't get this man out of my system no matter how much drama ensues. The bottom line is I love him and I believe we belong together. I love his voice, his laughter, his smile, his dramatic cheerful disposition.
I love him. I just hope we can get over the humps.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments26 - stumped
Not a momma's boy at all... yet a situation that adds to what's already complicated.
27 - swingingpuss
Well, relationships are generally hard to manage especially when extended family is involved ...either you could play the mother's game and beat her to it and retain your bf or tell him how you feel about everything that seems to be bothering you and see how things go from there.
I would take the second option :)
28 - stumped
The problem is that he always wants to do what's good and best for everyone. We're already in a relationship with some distance, and the relationship primarily resides at my residence. I'm not at all against him coming to visit with me, but it would be nice to feel that the same is extended to me. Now with his mother living in the middle of his place, that makes our spending time together on his turf a bit tricky... He's talking about moving, but there is some consideration about taking her along, because she refuses to discuss what her short/long-term plans are with regard to her own residence. Actually she refuses to talk at all.
She is not a "nice" person, and upon my first and only interaction with her she was very rude and disrespectful. I know that he doesn't want me to be uncomfortable, so he continues to visit with me.
I asked him how he thinks our relationship can function under such circumstances and I believe he's still working it out in his head... and parents, especially mothers can be tricky...
Any advice?
29 - Natalie Davis
Mr. Kain, thanks for the advice. Your explanation above has answered a lot of *serious* questions I have had about my Sag spouse over the years; this will help. Interestingly, it also reinforced truths I've learned through 15+ years of fights and rage and court dates and tears and therapy and such. Of course, I'm Scorpio, so that can't help. (Imagine the household: 2 Scorpios, 2 Sag, 1 Taurus. Whoa.)
There may be something to this astrology deal after all...
30 - confussed
I know how to spell confused just wanted to spell it that way, anyways. I not having any of that mama drama, just that i have been with this man for a year, i am a leo and when i fall in love i am willing to do whatever for the one i love. But when we first started seeing each other things were ok, then he cheated and i got back by cheating on him, i was not so upset cause my pride just won't let me. But as for him he was very upset. He didn't want to talk to me for a week, so i went on and left him alone. But he calls me back and tried to work things out, things have been going good, it just that i still haven't met the mom, i have met his daughter, but as for the family, i haven't met them yet, met some of his friends. But because his mother is in the hospital it is hard to see her, he tells me that his daugther is the important person in his life, so he would rather me meet her. but i will see the family soon. So now i just leave the subject alone. I let him be, i call about 2 a day, he does the calling and i always drive out to see him. He also told me that he is 28 and he don't want to be 30 or 40 still chasing after women, he just wants to make sure that i don't cheat anymore even though he cheated to. but oh well, i don't know what should i do?
31 - ehh
i am an aries and all of dont know what you are talking about
32 - chickie
I have been with my sagie for 13 years, Im a Taurus and the road has been a long one for us. Not compatable per say but very attracted to one and other, however what I found about my man is that he is exactly the way everyone here has discribed, in the beginning I would wonder why he didnt want to invite me out with his friends, or why he would irritate me with his know it all attitude. Seemed like everything we did was for him or anything we'd talk about was to revolve around him. Basically I looked at him like a young child who didnt understand the concept of "sharing" with others. He's not much for emotions (Ive only seen him cry 2x in 13 yrs)and doesnt really like it if I show my emotions too much, we are very different but managed to make it work, I just came to understand that people do not have to conform to your expectations for you to be happy, to find happyness with a Sagie, you need to have a life of your own, where you can make your own fullfillment and happyness. Get a few girl friends and make your own fun in life, cause if your placing these expectations on your sagie he'll run run away. Its almost like if you cant bring anything to lifes table for yourself he wont take the time to fill your table either. Kind of like the cat and mouse game, keep the chase going, or he'll get board.I never expected him to marry, a wedding ring is more like a hand cuff for him but 13 years we still are deeply in love, and It took alot of time and some counseling to make me understand, my ideals are not necessarly everyone elses. He flirts I flirt he goes out with his friends, I go out with mine, once in a while we meet in the middle and those are the best times cause we both really WANT to be there. Hope this helps.
33 - chickie
Oh yeah, we have been married for 5 years.
34 - Ginna
OMG I am going through the same thing with this guy. He's a Sag and one times he's nice telling me really nice things (rare), then he tells me he needs time to handle his demons! I'm like what the hell? He doesn't want to commit but if I go out with someone else he gets mad. He said he was selfish but this is crazy. I don't even know why I'm attracted to him. I think i'm a good catch, educated, attractive and a scorpio, but it's like when he's nice, he's really nice, then when he's distant he's so far away. Half the times I can't stop thinking about him, the other half I wish I'd never met him!
35 - shampan
oh my gosh chickie, i am so glad that i ran across this blog site. I m going through the same thing as you, being a taurus with a sag, and all. but my problem is weird because of our age difference. I am 27, and he will be 21 in 8 mths. I am hoping that this wont cause alot of problems in our relationship. I play the cta and mouse to see where he comes from, but he sees through the wool and calls me out on my actions. He is sweet, kind hearted, gentle, sexy and more, but I am afraid that something will go wrong.
A bad thing for us also is a long distance relationship. I am not sure if either one of us will be able to cope. or maybe I should say whether or not I will be able to cope. It sounds like absence will make his heart grow fonder. I have never had so much compassion for someone in a short period of time. I dont know where I am going with this, but I know God will see us through.
36 - Borei
i'm a taurus cusp aries, and this apparently does effect me. Up until high school just saw myself as a taurus, but when it came to dating in college, i found that i hated being with all the men who i am suppose to get along with. That's when i realised it. I am a hopeless romantic, but one who craves spontenaity like the aries. Anyway, this is where we get into the topic of the Sag man. I was dating one up unil tonight when i broke it off. Not the first time though, more like the 4th. Each time in the past though, he convinced me to stay in and try. Now haven't met his family either due to a large continental distance. I do speak to his parents however, and this summer was to be the time i'd meet them face to face. If it weren't for the distance, we were supposed to meet during our first year of dating. Our 2yr anniversary just passed, and this is definitely the way to celebrate...NOT! Anyway, he lied a fair bit and that the part that i can't get over. We get along so well though up until i found out about a flinf he had had. I was crushed, and he tried and promised and this time i think he really meant it. His mother suggested that we both seek therapy, and he was more willing than i was. So why did i still break up with him? Well, i read up on the Sag, i know them lie i know my biology text book, and that is why i dumped him. I knew that even if he changed and voluntarily, in the end, he was still a changed person for me. I didn't want to fear remorse later on when all of his senses came back to him. I'm lost though, because he says he loves me, and i know he does, but cheating is such a strange way to show it.
37 - dilema
I thought sag are suppose to be honest and loyal?
Im a gemini and have been dating a sag for a year now, the first six months he was always calling, making plans, just very persistent, saying i'm the one he has been always looking for, we have amazing chemistry, but gradually we started talking and seeing each other less and less, when i do speak to him its like nothing has changed, he still loves and misses me can't wait to see me... It's weird behavior, weekends he is always wanting to be around his friends when he is not working. it's not that i mind because after all i am a gemini and i do like my independence and like the rest of you I'm not needy for attention but a little bit of courtesy would be nice...
they like to chase but don't like being chased, they want their freedom but might not need it if given to them, but it feel like the nicer i am and the more i give, the more he take advantage, and your seen as a pushover... like him i have my WANTS too, so why should i make all the effort, it's called being fair and able to compromise like a adult...i have admit i do have a loud roar when the gemini in me snaps, he gets scared lol..
38 - keekee
ladies, look up your partners venus and mars sign, these are the plants that rule sex, romance and love and marriage. the sun sign is the black and white definition of who you are dating.
39 - linda
confussed, maybe there is something wrong with his mother that he is ashamed of, maybe she is in a mental hospital, or sick enough to not want to see anyone. you said you met his daughter right? as a therapist i will say this, most single parents, specially if divorced will not introduce their child to the person they are dating unless it is serious, most will introduce their parents over a child, because a child IF grown close, and IF there is a split will have a hard time coping.
40 - Borei
Have any of the other saggs cheated? And does anybody really know why. Also, thank you KeeKee. I will check that out.
Also, do you think that a sag may be in love with the idea of love, or does he actually love the person on the recieving end of those 3 word? And if so, are they the type who love more than one at a time?
41 - help
i am a taurus woman in my late 30's and he is a sag (40). Do older sags tend to commit more and make better family men then younger men?
I have met his entire family including his children. we all get along well.
we are having a child together.
Is it possible for these 2 signs to really work out?
How do I figure out his mars/venus sign?
really need help with this. thank you
42 - B
Hi Taurus 30, ur welcome to scold me if u feel this is an inappropriate title, but i just thought i'd tell u about the other signs. Iff u want to look up the other signs, i recommend ivillage astrology, or u can simply type in "moon sign" in the search space on google. A buffet of sites will pop up. I prefer ivillage, because it is convenient but i also like to look at other sites, as ivillage can be quite frosted and always positive. i like to look at both the pros and cons myself. Good luck.
43 - keekee
Go to http://www.alabe.com/freechart/
type in there info and you will get their full chart
44 - Lost in Space
Wow... glad you guys brought this subject up. I'm an Aries, and was involved with a Sagittarius male, and everything I'm reading was exactly his personality. He couldn't commit, wasn't able to control his drinking, needed to be "on" in a group or a bar all the time in order to be the center of attention, and could say some of the nastiest things to people, thinking he was being brutally honest. I have a female friend who also is a Sag with the same characteristics (although she eats in excess rather than drinks). The thing I had the hardest time with was that both of these individuals' lives were a mess, but they were unable to look at their own "stuff" and kept pointing their fingers at everyone else.
Sex with my ex was incredible... we were really matched in that way, and he could be incredibly sweet sometimes. But the relationship broke off after three years because he couldn't make any kind of commitment toward the future. Looking back, it felt as though he'd only been able to invest a small part of himself in the relationship and then held back the rest.
45 - Lost in Space
Oh yeah, addendum: We also broke up because in three years he would only come to my apartment and never invited me to his (well, once, for twenty or thirty minutes, when his nephews were coming into town). There was always an excuse. When we ended things, I told him it felt as though I'd opened up myself to him in letting himself stay at my place, but that he couldn't do the same for me.
What's this deal with Sag people and not letting people into their living spaces? It seems to be a common thread here.
46 - parker
my Sag doesn't have a problem letting me in his space, he wants me there all the time. He does drink excessively though, i guess they like to over due everything, there is no happy medium. i'm a Sag myself and i do know we are private people, we observe others but dont want to give too much of ourself. most Sag i know are pretty open with their space.
47 - borei
WOAH! Thanks to everybody who continued with the comments. It's all very interesting. I gotta say alot of it sounds like my man, but alot also is nothing like him. So now, i'm concerend that it has yet to come out.
Anyway, he's been sweet to me from day one. I find him and i are so into eahother, and we're always happy together. We moved in together after about 6months of dating, and then got engaged a year after that.
The only real problem with him is that he has cheated twice and with women i never imagined him to be with. He says i am beautiful and extremely sexy, and that i am his life love in every aspect. So, if this is the case, why did he cheat? He blames his insecurities for the first incident, and then urge and weekness due to distance, he is in HI and i am in Cambodia.
So what i wanna know is, when a sag says something, should i believe him? If he says he wants "U" then does that mean you, or u for now?
48 - Stumped
I've been offline for a bit. I am still stumped yet can't understand why I can't get this man out of my life. I break up with him, he'll call to see how I am... He keeps one foot in the door at all times. I love him dearly, but the inconsistencies are maddening. I never knew that one sign of the Zodiac could be a problem for sooooo many. Are sags really compatible with anyone. I told my guy that we need to share places, spaces, friends, etc...
His response is I understand and agree. Yet there is no action. Just one excuse after another. He claims to love me so much, but refuses to share his life... not that it's that big in the first place.
Won't commit, yet won't let me go... the saga continues
49 - loli
they are all just a bunch of charmers who really feel what is happening at the moment but as soon as you're a part they forget, and make it out like oh whats wrong i thought we were doing great.
i'm a sag myself and i don't act this way. my advice ladies go find yourself another man and keep them both so you don't drive yourself crazy when he is out chasing skirts. and when he realizes that you are not on him like before, he'll come chasing you once again.
50 - brenda
yes, I dated a sag and I/m a leo..He was head over heels with me in the beginning. love letters, telling me he loved me, you all that stuff. A few months later all that went away. He started seeing someone else. A sag is very emotional, caring and giving but only thinks of themselves. They tend to have psychological problems also, so women beware. I would never date a Sag again. They are like wild horses, can't be trusted.
51 - Help
Hello, I posted a while ago about my being a Taurus woman and my bf being a Sag. He was born on November 24...it seems that he has a lot more Scorpio in him...is this possible? He was married to his X for over 17 years and with me now. We're having a baby but it seems to me that he gets stuck between the 2 signs. I was wondering if he could truly commit to this relationship and our baby. He has 2 other children from that mariage. Here's what I read about Scorpio and boy does it sound like him. Any other SAGS out there that have mor Scorpio in them? And if so, does that mean it IS possible for a SAG to commit and be faithful?? Here's the quote:
"Scorpio man
The male Scorpion is famous for his sexiness " and his deadly sting! He’s often reserved and self-controlled, but once he’s involved he is an intense and committed lover. He can get so obsessed with a woman that jealousy takes over and, like Othello, he misreads the signs and sees betrayal in every innocent situation. Not one to trifle with: he can be totally faithful, but he’s so full of secrets, you never really know."
52 - HELP
I'm sorry this is so long but thought some of you would find this interesting...My SAG was born on Nov 24 so somewhat on the Scorpio/Sag cusp.
Ok someone above gave a link to this chart thing and this is what it said about my SAG bf.
My question is.....does this mean he can be loyal and committed??
Hi there, here is the interpretation of the astrological chart that you asked for. Also attached is a .GIF graphic file which depicts your chart wheel. Thank you for visiting the Astrolabe WEB site at http://alabe.com This report has been created especially for you. It represents your Unique picture at the time you were born and at the place you were born. If you are unsure of the exact time of day of your birth (or the date or the place), the reading will probably not seem as accurate as it could be in certain places, but other parts will seem to be very appropriate. You will notice at certain places in the reading that contradictory information seems to be given. This is to be expected, because the personality of most people is extremely complex. For example, at times we are quite shy and at other times we are very aggressive, and so forth. You will also notice that, at certain points in the reading, certain patterns may be repeated over and over, especially in a longer more detailed report than this one. This is also to be expected. This simply means that your horoscope has an extremely strong focus on this particular pattern and that you should pay extra close attention to what is said about it. Now, on with your Report!
Name: Jon
November 24 1966
10:35 PM Time Zone is PST
Glendora, CA
Rising Sign is in 22 Degrees Leo
You love to be the center of attention and you want to appear strong, confident and dominant. You are very proud of yourself, sometimes quite vain even. When all around you are bedraggled and falling apart, you look like a million bucks! Very dignified and honorable, you enjoy the power and privilege, but not the responsibilities, that come with leadership. You are very idealistic but can also be quite stubborn. Others impress you only if they have integrity (but wealth, power and influence can also turn your head). You prefer rich, elegant surroundings and possessions, and will try to acquire them as your budget allows. Physically, you are very impressive - - at your best you have a regal, charismatic demeanor and bearing. Try not to be such a showoff!
Sun is in 02 Degrees Sagittarius.
Very fun-loving, spirited and energetic, you have a huge reservoir of physical energy within you that needs to be released. As such, exercise or sports are very important to you. Quite gregarious, you enjoy being with other people, but you tend to avoid emotionally restrictive or intimate relationships. Constantly curious about the broader issues of life, you may at times be quite careless and sloppy about details -- you tend to leap to conclusions before all the facts are in. An avid reader, you are totally enthusiastic about any given subject should it interest you. You are known for being idealistic, generous, sociable, cheerful and very positive!
Moon is in 29 Degrees Aries.
High-spirited and courageous, you are a fighter when your emotions are aroused. The degree of force and drive that you can bring to any effort sometimes surprises others. You have hair-trigger reactions to specific stimuli and tend to "let it all hang out." You sometimes act before you think and do things on the spur of the moment, and that sometimes gets you into trouble. Your moods change quickly -- you have quite a temper, but you don't hold grudges. Very independent, with an extremely strong and forceful personality, you are known for being impulsive, careless, reckless, foolhardy, rash and daring.
Mercury is in 17 Degrees Scorpio.
You are a born investigator. You are fascinated by secrets and mysteries and unanswered questions of any kind. When you become upset or angry, your emotional reactions are overpowering -- reason and logic disappear in an uncontrollable passionate outburst. You tend to keep your thoughts secret and bottled up and this makes others regard you with suspicion. It is not that you are trying purposely to be evasive, it is just that you would rather not deal with the explosions and hassles that often occur when you reveal your true feelings and opinions. Your sense of humor tends toward sarcasm and irony.
Venus is in 06 Degrees Sagittarius.
You are very aware of the need to maintain a high sense of morality in a relationship. Your loyalty and interest will remain constant in any relationship (either friendly, personal or business) that is based on fairness, honesty and justice. But you will become greatly hurt and disappointed if the other person takes any but the high road with you. Also, you cannot tolerate anyone being overly emotionally possessive of you. You are known for your friendly, outspoken manner.
Mars is in 25 Degrees Virgo.
Very careful and systematic, you pay great attention to details. You are always seeking perfection and sometimes get bogged down searching for the ultimate when adequacy would have been sufficient. You dislike abstractions, preferring whatever is practical, useful and demonstrable. You have a strong and enduring sense of personal responsibility, and you demand that others be as responsible and upright as you are. Very critical of yourself and others, sometimes you carry this too far and become overly intolerant of others and their right to choose their own lifestyles.
Jupiter is in 04 Degrees Leo.
You must be proud of all that you do in order to grow and develop. You enjoy being totally honest and aboveboard and you revel in the admiration and respect you receive from others due to your high- minded, upright way of life. Make sure, though, that your natural tendency to boast and show off is based on your actual accomplishments. Don't fall prey to self-exaggeration or arrogance. You truly do like outrageous spectacles and grand jolly times and will go out of your way to make them a reality.
Saturn is in 22 Degrees Pisces.
Your tendency to think that your life is out of control is based on an unreasonable fear, probably connected with an unfortunate experience with the person who filled the father figure role in your early life. Learn to take responsibility here and now for your own life. Try to stop having unrealistic expectations about guide figures. Remember that they are merely human, with all the same faults and self-doubts that you have. When you get confused or uncertain, try to simplify your lifestyle -- things will then become easier to bear.
Uranus is in 23 Degrees Virgo.
You, and all your peers, will be known for the degree of intensity with which you dislike normal everyday routines and chores. You will go out of your way to invent innovative, unique and timesaving ways to perform the various mundane routines and duties of living. You will be attracted to all manner of practical and useful gadgets -- anything that will make your daily life more exciting.
Neptune is in 22 Degrees Scorpio.
You, and your entire generation, are extremely interested in anything deep and mysterious. You will explore and idealize the benefits that can accrue from the study of the occult, healing and psychology. You are willing to experiment with substances like drugs in order to push your understanding of your inner being to the extreme.
Pluto is in 20 Degrees Virgo.
For your entire generation, this will be a time when profound changes in society's attitude toward work, duty and responsibility will be initiated. Radical changes in attitudes toward personal health and general nutrition will be promulgated and gain wide acceptance and practice.
N. Node is in 16 Degrees Taurus.
It's not in your nature to seek out many casual acquaintances in your daily round of activities. You feel much more comfortable with a small, close-knit group of people -- those with whom you can relax and work toward known and clearly defined goals. Your loyalty to a person or group, once given, is forever -- you'll expend all of your quite considerable energy in seeing that the group stays together and prospers. You choose your partners and relationships so carefully that you're bound to gain certain advantages from them, including those of a material nature. Be careful though not to let mere self-service be your motivation in establishing your connections -- make sure that there's an even give-and-take!
53 - DualFish
I've been with a Sagittarius female on/off for 3 years; I'm a Pisces female. We're almost 4 years apart in age; I'm older, and we're neither young chickens. She approached me to chat me up first, but I only wanted us to be friends because I 'sensed' (Pisces intuition!) we wouldn't make a good couple. Friendship was all I wanted, but she was convinced she was in love with me and wouldn't hear take a 'no' for an answer. So she pursued a relationship with me for NINE months and finally convinced me to give it a go. As I read the posts on here, I see the "pursuit" thing with Sagittarians is common enough and when they do catch you and get comfortable, their romantic gestures seem to cool off. Sagittarians seem to like me a lot (I have moon in Sag). Anyhow, I have similar problems that many of you address with regard to Sag: commitment issues, won't bring me around friends/family (we've broken up a million times over this), but wants to hang out with my friends/family...makes lots of promises that she can't keep, wants her freedom but then claims I don't commit to her (she has Taurus moon and Scorpio Venus/Gemini Mars)...so she wants commitment, but prefers to have me do all the work. When things are good between us, they're great. When they're bad, they're horrible. We're both stubborn and strong-willed (I have Venus AND Mars in Taurus, counteracting her Taurus Moon). Her chart is ruled by Saturn (Capricorn rising) and mine is ruled by Pluto (Scorpio rising). LOTS of strong planets between us, but I have 'given in' to her more often than I'd like, because she can be SO pushy and demanding, and yes...even emotionally manipulative...crying, yelling, screaming, begging, pleading...anything to get 'her way'...so I sometimes just want to maintain peace. BUT, we've had some LOUD fights (typically not even my style, but with this Sag...oh yes!) because I won't say 'yes' at all times--which aggravates her. But, OH WELL. And three years into it...yes, we keep going back/forth but I've really reached the end of my rope. We're barely standing on one leg here, and I'm ready to head for the hills. I love her dearly...but she makes me a little crazy and I feel I have no stability with her; funny thing is, she accuses me of the same, though she's the one who often cancels plans, won't include me in her life, takes jobs that take her out of state for months...etc. On top of that, every time she gets me to agree to 'commit' to her, she pulls out of at the last minute. We've had some really painful break ups and its cost both of lots of tears and heartache--mine, more genuine than hers, I'm sorry to say, because I do believe at this point that she enjoys the 'romantic' drama. She loves to 'romance' me..until she's comfortable. Then she becomes lazy and complacent and takes me for granted, until I threaten to leave...and then she's back on her 'good' behavior until, well..the next time that she becomes lazy/complacent. But, apparently, I'm the one with "commitment issues"--right.
Anyway, I went googling on how to get Sag's to commit...I know, isn't that desperate??? See what this sign drives me to do? :) I came across this page through google and it's been comforting, and yet depressing at the same time, to read the posts here. At least I know I'm not alone in my Sag limbo..but seems there's very little hope at times. I think with work, WE could work..but like a childish Sag (sorry other Sag's, but it's true)...she is not too fond of doing the work and just hopes things "will work out"...somehow. Ah, me. One of us has to be the grown up in this, anf frankly, I'm tired of always taking care of her needs...but, you know...only time will tell where things will head from here on end. Would love to hear feedback on friends/family issue...why Sag's are so stubborn in letting you in on their inner circle, even if they claim to be in love with you and have been dating you for THREE years. Thoughts/feedback?
Thank you.
DualFish
54 - Libragal
Hi All
I'm a Libra woman and when I was much younger I dated a Sag. He cheated on me more than once and as I had little experience with men, I tolerated it but eventually gave up. He drank excessively and couldn't hold his liquour but when he was sweet, he was very sweet. I also spent a fair amount of time with his family.
The thing is that I have now met another Sag guy and I'm wondering if history is going to repeat itself. It's holding me back from him although it's early days yet.
55 - borei
SO,i am still confused as ever, and in short would just like the clearest answer possible..."can a sag be honest and faithful?'"
56 - D
Guys....firstly..EVERYTHING ..all your comments about saggis is 100% true..im a leo...but i am not the dating kinds...i prefer to be in my life and work...but a chance meeting with a saggi guy..turned my life around...i wasnt interested in him AT ALL at first ...but this guy would just call and ask me out persistantly (great chasers)...i was rude...cut him off for 2 weeks and it didnt work..the charm finally worked...and very soon we met up and before i knew it got physical (though am from a very conservative upbringing..)...one thing about sagis...extremely slick when it comes to sex..they know exactly how to work it...and how to go about smoothly giving maximum pleasure to their partners..but after a few days..when he had all the entertainment(i talk a lot) he needed...the sex he got...he completely disappered..he wouldnt call or pick up my calls...he called later but i was very rude and cut him off...the thing about saggi men..its all a game...till the chase its fine...but then they are out for a new excitement...i wudnt be surprised if he cheats...he a heavy drinker gambler...and basically an escapist and a WEAK personality...they just dont wanna face anything and want to have the easy way out in life...but saggi's r supoosed to have good luck so they tend to get away through their seeming nonchalance and directness...they have double standards too..like some of u say...they cant take u cheating on them..but they have the full right...basically they dont care....and i feel everyone ..all signs should stay away from this illusion...if u dont wanna get hurt
57 - DualFish
Alright...so back to my Sag (woman). Women, men..makes no difference, you all. I've dated a Sag man--he was a male "ho", just greedy with sex all over the place--and a Sag woman...well, she's more conservative, but at the VERY least, as far as I know, she's been emotionally unfaithful...hooking up with people via cyberspace and then being caught (by me) and promising all sorts of things, including a stable, long-term relationship, and not being able to hold up her end of the deal. After 3 years of excessive investment in the most bottomless pit of a person, I've given up on this Sag woman. Sure, she can be charming, fun when she wants (and nasty and mean as all hell when she doesn't get her way), generous when she wants to be (and stingy, when not in the mood), and full of promises (that she never kept), and a GREAT chaser...she chased me for NINE months before I gave in and went out on a date with her--they're persistent and sooooo sweet when they want something from you, but when the fun and games are over to them, b'bye, they're gone in a flash. But in the end, a Sag is ALL about control of others, and lack of responsibility when it comes to him/herself. They want to do whatever it is they want to do, double-standards ALL over the place (don't you DARE cheat on them, but they can do it and then say, 'but it didn't mean anything'--right), and when it comes down to putting their money where their mouth is (meaning, keeping promises or being responsible to someone else other than themselves), forget it. Doesn't happen. Will not happen. Sagittarians are knows to be the most immature, irresponsible, self-indulgent, game-playing, unreliable, insensitive, and insecure sign of the zodiac, and no matter your own astrological sign (I'm a Pisces, but I have a very strong chart with lots of Taurus, Aries, and Scorpio in there)...they will trump you every time. Why? Because they don't live by anyone else's rules but their own. And those rules change ALL the time. And, oh yea, they often happen to forget to mention that the rules of the 'game' have changed (yes, they treat love as a game), so you're left scratching your head, pulling out your hair, screaming at the top of your lungs, or crying your heart out. If you're smart, you'll actually run for the hills.
So yes, I've given it a whirl--with both the men and the women of this sign--and no, they cannot be in a relationship. They just don't understand the idea of commitment, responsibility, monogamy, fairness, equality, sharing, sensitivity...all the stuff necessary to make a relationship successful.
Best of luck to anyone who wants to give one of these fair-weathered lovers a try. Yes, you'll probably have fun in the bedroom, but realize that's as good as gets--it's all fun and games, so if you lose your heart to one of these chumps...my sympathies.
DualFish
58 - JC
Wow, these comments are scary. Every single thing you all are saying about Sag's is true. I am a leo woman involved with a Sag man.
I can relate to the intensity in the beginning months. A complete whirlwind of charm and intellect and attention bestowed upon me to make me feel like the ultimate queen.
Then slowly, that starts to dwindle and you have to beg for a return call, you have to beg for a date, beg for attention. I am desperately trying to give him his feedom. I was in a complete manic state at first. I would persistently call a million times if he didn't respond and have to hunt him down just to confirm if he will see me.
Now after reading up on Sag and their needs, I realize I need to step back and leave him be. Indulge in my own interest, lead my life and fill it up to the point where he is not the focus.
I truly believe, that once you have a fulfilled life and do not chase, or hound the Sag, he will maintain interest because he will be thrown off by your indifference.
We'll see if I can keep this cool exterior up for long.
I'm an emotional leo that needs attention and praise and I don't want to beg for it!
59 - DualFish
JC--I feel your pain. And though I'm not a Leo (though many think I am, for some reason! :)...I became soooo attention-starved in my Sag relationship that I started to feel 'needy'. ME! I'm usually the one who likes her freedom, does her own thing, and wants good, quality times with a significant other. But with the Sag, that kind of consistency and attention was soooo scarce as time went by, whether I gave her plenty of freedom or asked to see her...that I started to wonder what's wrong with me. I'm a very confident person, and basically, what was at work with my Sag (and most Sag's, as I understand, want to feel 'in control), was that I'd get to see her when SHE felt like it. On HER schedule. Dependong on HER mood. And if I said 'boo' about it, I'd get the old, "Ok, I need my SPACE, I feel suffocated". It was a standard response that often made me feel I'd done something wrong, but I realized the underlying 'threat' was this: You don't do things as I want them, and I'm leaving. Well, then, bye!
When she felt like seeing me, and if I didn't or couldn't because I had other plans or things to do, she'd beg and plead and cry and barter and make all sorts of promises to get her way. SO pushy. If I stuck to my guns, I received 'guilt' texts, "I guess you don't love me the same anymore" and such. In reverse, when she'd agree to a normal date with me, when it'd get closer to the date night, she'd pull all sorts of excuses to cancel. She needed her 'space'. I came to a place of not even fighting about it, going, "Ok, fine, no problem". How much can you fight that? You just get tired. And then the MINUTE I'd be okay with her canceling, she'd call a couple of hours later and say, "Wanna come over?" Please. Why? Because SHE said so. And that's how I spent three years of my life, scratching my head, going, "I don't get it".
Freedom a-plenty you may give them, and then they complain, "I want to feel needed by you sometimes, too, you know!" And then if I'd ask for something that didn't fit her specific mood, or agenda, or whatever, it'd be, "Good lord, give me my space, will you?" And THIS from a woman whom, when I'd get sick of this back and forth and say, "See ya, never!"...she'd come chasing after me, begging and pleading, showing up at my house uninvited, to beg and say, "I want to win you back! I love you!" Okay, whatever. Perhaps she was more the 'extreme' case of the Sag, but based on other posts I'm reading here...maybe not.
I know that while you're with these types of people, and you're 'in love' that you think there'll never be another and that maybe something is wrong with you, and you need to bend and twist and pretzel yourself into what makes THEM happy, so that they'll stick around. But after much heartache and time wasted on my part, I came to see that my needs are valid, that it's NORMAL to want to spend a couple of days a week with my significant other, without it becoming a Federal case or a source of power play or flakiness for her, and hurt, rejection and confusion for me. I SHOULD get attention from my partner, same as I'm willing to give them. Why settle for ANYTHING less than you want? Life is too short. What if any of us fall down and die tomorrow (heaven's forbid!)...then what did we learn of love and support of a significant other? Nothing, not with this type of Sag lameness.
Besdies, I look at it this way, too: I shouldn't even be searching websites, looking to understand why a certain person doesn't treat me right. I mean, if any of these people were treating us like an equal partner, would we even be here, trying to make excuses for their lame behavior that leaves us feeling abandoned, unloved, and confused as to what it is that WE are doing? I don't think so. Is wanting to spend time with our significant others, to be a part of their lives, to get to know and share their friends and families, as much as they share ours...a ridiculous demands? NO. So why put up with it? Yes...love. But that can easily become a bitter pill, if you end up wondering the very same things, asking the very same questions, year after year...and realize, wow, now I've invested SO much time and I STILL have nothing to show for it. Are they all that, really? Forget those initial 'romantic,' sweep you off your feet, intense attention and adulation days...that's just how a 'chaser' operates. Once the prey is caught, it loses its luster. Sure, if you want to play hid and seek the rest of your life so that the Sag can feel they're chasing and stick around...go ahead. I know I don't want to be playing games. I want to live my life, and I want my life to be happy, stable, and secure. And I did not find that with a Sag.
Hope you have more success with your Sag, JC. I know that I could not take it anymore. Fun, this sign can be, when they feel like it...but I don't need a part-time lover who makes me crazy and doubt myself, as if my basic needs in a partnership are outlandish and 'asking for too much'.
So keep yourself centered and keep reminding yourself: it's OKAY to want love and companionship. It's not okay to have to beg for it. And if someone makes you do so, then you don't want them in your life that badly, now..do you?
Keep us posted!
DualFish
60 - JC
Wow,
DualFish you hit it dead on! Power Plays, mind games, dates and plans scheduled around their time, catering to their moods and always leaving space and room for them to feel they can flee. No pressure, no responsibility in the relationship.
The line about having to bend and pretzel myself into this easy going, flighty, nonchalant girl who caters to his whims is so dead on!
It's true. When I get fed up and say I want a man who's attentive, who acts as if this relationship means something, that's when the drama comes.
The intense "I love you, I would die for you, You know your my soulmate" comes out. Why don't Sag's act like they are appreciative of the gems that come into their life.
They have so much spark and fun and that's what draws the special people to them because they are quite rare and make you feel like your on a cloud with their wit and intelligence and striking presense, but dammit that's not enough!!!
I know I'm special, but I never take my relationship for granted. I give him gifts, remember his birthday, cook for him, rub his back check in on him, etc.
I am the one who carries the relationship when it comes to effort. I cannot see myself even planning a trip with this man or even introducing him to my family, he wouldn't show up! Some chaotic event would happen and he'd have to be in another state and just say "Sorry baby".
Important stuff like having your man with you throughout the week and bringing him to certain events with you as your Significant other. As your confidant it's just not possible. The grace you with their presence when they want. When it's convienient for them.
He never says - Hey baby I want to see you. When's a good time to come over. I have to ask, baby when will I see you I want to see you. He says - "when" and like a punk who wants to be the good girlfriend, I say "Whatever day is good for you".
I need a man to show effort and make me feel sexy and special, like I'm worthy of having someone make a fuss over me.
That's why I have gone on dates with other men and have even been intimate with another man 3x, but no matter what, nobody else has the spark that fire and passion I see when we are together and that's what I keep hanging on to. That's what has me hooked.
This man's magnetism is so intense that even when I'm pissed and in the arms of another man, the next day, I wonder where he is and what he's doing and when I will see him.
This is insane.
61 - duane
Good grief.
Carry on.
62 - DualFish
JC--I went through the same exact thing with my Sag. SAME. No effort on her part to really make plans with me, very flakey, forget planning trips, I couldn't even get her to follow-through on a movie date. We'd buy movie tickets online for the same evening, and I'm en route to her house, and get a call, "Babe, would you be upset if I canceled? I don't feel well"...at a constant. And the drama...oh did it skyrocket when I'd get fed up and walk out the door.
I haven't talked to mine in a week. I just pulled the plug on the whole thing because I felt so disrespected and taken for granted--please, WHO needs that? And wouldn't you know it? She has been calling and calling and calling and saying, "Please call me, I love you. I don't want 'things' to be this way". Well, really? Heard THAT one a million times over the past 3 years and the only one who changed was ME...taking on the burden for TWO in a so-called relationship. Yes, and I used to go out on dates each time we'd "break up" (cuz I got fed up) but the next day, I'd wonder what she was up to. The thing is, they have a 'way' about them that can make you feel like a Princess, it all seems so fairy tale at first. But then it goes away and comes back sporadically and it's what kept me hooked in. You fall in love with the "image" they present, and build your feelings around that, but I find this particular sign to be rather shallow emotionally and selfish, too, so while we might hurt because they're self-serving, they're all, "What's the big deal?" My broken heart, you dumb a**! I just cannot do it anymore.
I hear you on carrying the weight of the relationship! I'd do same, always suggest activities, make plans, take care of her, look after her, rub her back, check in with her to make sure all's well. Do you think it was reciprocated? No. In fact, she'd sometimes even bite the hand that fed her--mine--if I'd make her dinner..next day I'd get a call that she feels things are "moving too fast" and can we slow it down? I'd be confused. We only had dinner. What's "fast"? And this, after 2.5 years together!! And then I'd pull away, and emotionally distance myself to prevent more hurt for me, and she'd chase after me and go, "But I love you, I want to SEE you." Then one good date, and after that, business as usual.
Yes, my Sag can be very charming too...but looking at it as far as long-term plans go...I realized this was a one-way street, bottomless pit and it was going nowhere. I was trying to "build" something with her, a future (and she called me her "soulmate" and "love of her life" too)...but she was just in it for the easy ride. NO, thanks.
It's exhausting. I don't want to feel like a pretezel anymore. I know my own worth and I have plenty of options. And my heart finally "got it"...I'm out. Thank goodness.
I'm sorry you're dealing with the same thing. And as intense as this man may be, remember, if you sometimes get too close to fire, you get burnt. And in the case of these folks, have the emotional 911 on speed dial, and take up permanent residence in the Heartbreak Hotel. No good came out of mine. I hope some does of yours, but don't bet on it. Remember--ACTIONS speak louder than words. If someone says they love you but don't give you love, or show you love...is it really love?
Look to actions; ignore the words.
And stay out of the insane asylum. :)
Keep posting--it helps to see things more clearly. Honest.
DualFish
63 - J
I am a female Sag in her thirties with a Scorpio moon and will cop to fitting many of the descriptions of my sun sign that I am reading here. I make a much better friend or casual partner than serious companion. Any situation that makes me feel trapped or tied down will bring out the worst in me, period.
HOWEVER....the most deceitful, pompous, the rules-don't-apply-to-me cheating liar of a person I ever knew was not a Sag- he was a Cancer with a Gemini moon. And a Leo woman I was once friends with was a gossipy, manipulative witch who thought she was better than everyone else. I love Cancers and respect their genuine instincts to protect and nurture, but they can be absolute bitches who attack you when your guard is down- the men too.
I know Saggies are the ones being discussed here, but please let's not forget all the signs have their dark sides!
64 - BT
This is for J,
I respect ur comment immensely, and therefore i have a question just for u. I am so glad to see a sag in here, cuz who better to know a sag's personality than a sag herself.
Anyway, i do agree that we all have our positive traits as well as negative(which is not as available in books as it should be), and i have heard so much grime o this sign. Now, my man has been quite different from all that has been described. He's been wonderful, and together we have great times. We moved in together after 3months of dating, and what started as just casual fun turned into couple love. I never anticipated all that has occured, and today when i look at him, i still love him because he gives me reason to adore him.
Anyway, enough sappy details. Straight to the point, he cheated. He cheated with a woman who worked on base. I asked him why, and he said cuz he was scared. I asked of what, and he replied with what seemed like a genuine answer. He was scared of his future. He said he had never been so in love, but at the same time so nervous. At the time i was a dancer, and he he said that he felt threatend by my work. Anyway, we got past it and it is now 2.5yrs later. We're still happy when we're together, but when we r apart for a while, i begin to wonder about him.
So J, please let me know just whether a sag can be faithful? And let's assume that the sag is really in love, can he/she really be honest and monogomous?
Thanks, i hope to get a reply from u J.
65 - JC
I have a question for everyone has dealt with a male Sag. How did you find them in intimate situations? I find them extremely charming and seductive but in regard to technique the actual "intercourse" doesn't last very long. I read that they are very good for "oral massages" but the actual sex is not intense, it can be good but very quick.
Is this true in your case? And if this is true? Why do they have so many woman and can't stick with one, eventhough they are not intensely sexual?
66 - DualFish
JC--from experience, I find both male and female Sags to be rather impatient in all arenas, including the sexual one. They like the build up, but when it comes down to completing the "task"...they become selfish and get very focused on their own pleasure in the end. Wham, bam...you know how it goes. And you're right; the actual sex does end up being quite quick--male and female alike (trust me).
Why do they have so many women? Because they can be fun, charming, in a sort of naive/innocent way (at first). Why can't they stick with one? They're like kids in a candy store...can't pick just one flavor and move on. They get greedy and want to try everything, and even when they do, they can't make up their minds. They're like big kids...never wanna grow up. I think they have a serious case of the Peter Pan syndrome! :) Also, Sag is a mutable sign, like my own sign (Pisces), which means we change and adapt to any given situation. However, while Pisces like me are an emotional water sign and follow their hearts and tend to stick with one mate, Sags are mutable fire signs...so they sizzle, then fizzle. Minds change DAILY...
Sags usually end up settling down much later in life...sometimes, not at all. Of course a lot of it depends on their entire astro chart (Moon, Venus, Mars, Mercury), but with a dominant fire sign such as Sag, don't expect a commitment...at least, not a long-term one.
Incidentally, for those who have been following my Sag story on this board...I ended things with my Sag almost 2 weeks ago, and she wrote me an email, telling me how she is sorry that she couldn't make up her mind about what she wants. I ignored her. That's what you do when you break-up with someone who's been a jerk. Three days ago, she wrote ANOTHER email, begging me to come back to her, because she loves me soooo much! She does this EVERY time. And when I have returned...we went on the same roller coaster ride, only to end up where we are now--not together again.
See what I mean? They can't stick to anything, even their own decisions. And they love the chase, but the spoils of the game are never as interesting to them.
That's how it goes...
DualFish
67 - JC
Right on the money again Dualfish!!!!!!
The build-up is so sexy so seductive, but their actual technical expertise is lacking. The slow steady grind to withold orgasm is not in them.
They start and then 5-10 minutes later they are done. It feels great because they are passionate and saying all the right fiery erotic things in your ear to make you feel like a true lioness, but it only last for a litte while.
They are so charming and come off so sexy and sensuous but the duration and stamina is lacking.
Yet and still I can't get enough.
Again, I say - This is insane
68 - Daisy
Where's Stumped.
I'm all caught up in the drama of the mother issue. I'm a sag. too. Dec. 21...not a young chick.
Stumped, try this.
I know the first encounter with mom did not go well, but consider the situation when you met. Nothing would please your sag. man more than giving a genuine effort to get to know mom. Try inviting them both over for a homecooked dinner. Watch how he responds to your effort, even if mom's attitude doesn't change. It may help things to turn around where she is concerned. If not it's time to move on. It has been over a year and you have your life to live without holding out on something that may never happen.
Just a sag. women's opinion.
Also, I have a Virgo rising which makes my chart a little different.
69 - Daisy
Hey all,
I wonder how a sag.woman would get along with a sag. man. Would we be a match made in heaven or would it be a disaster.
Daisy
70 - JC
Just an update.
I've ended it. No more sagittarius. I will date another one if it was presented to me the right way, but this one did not acknowlede what he had.
I'm through. I txt him a nasty message sayin "You couldn't last 2 weeks without going back to treating me like sh**.
Then changed my phone number.
I'm done completely. No going back. Nothing of substance to go back to.
71 - DualFish
Awww, JC...(((hugs)))
I'm sorry, hon. You're brave to do this now. Good on you not to wait so long that you don't know your head from your feet, before calling it quits. I know how it feels, as I've ended mine, too. Been two weeks--TOUGH two weeks--but who wants to be treated like sh** is right!!!
Good idea to change your #. I might follow your lead and do the same with mine any day now.
You WILL be okay. No one deserves to be treated badly...and no matter how "charming" these people can be, if heartless and without substance, OUT they go.
Be well.
DualFish
72 - Daisy
J.C.
Feel really badly for you.
I guess most sag. men are no good, dirty, rotten, ...... but some of us sag. feel really badly about that.
Don't turn down trying another sag. if the opportunity presents itself. He may be the perfect attentive man....a keeper.
I'm a sag. women and can't find the right combination for me. Maybe it's because I've picked two capricorn husbands...what was I thinking!
Daisy
73 - JC
Another question.
Did Sagittarius people have a tendancy to give elaborate, dramatic stories as to why you hadn't heard from them in days.
Like a sucker, my Sagittarius showed up at my house because I changed my number and told me I hadn't heard from him, because his child was missing in Georgia and he couldn't tell me, because his head was messed up.
Not only did I reconcile, I gave him money to fly to Georgia to be with his child
74 - elsa
People are telling Sadge stories here:
Add yours!
75 - JC
DualFish: I see this merry go round lasting a while. I can't get this man out of my system no matter how much drama ensues. The bottom line is I love him and I believe we belong together. I love his voice, his laughter, his smile, his dramatic cheerful disposition.
I love him. I just hope we can get over the humps.