Thus began the first of many bursts of hospitalisation.
What you don't tend to hear about from the folks that make the films, is how much fun it is in a psychiatric ward. Sure, there's a lot of misery and depression and slippers shuffling up and down the corridor, but there's also people who are incredibly witty, and on my first stay there were no less than two folks who were Jesus. Incidentally, they didn't really get on very well.
And so The Duke thought; well, fuck me. You've done it now, boy.
Still, I attempted to remain positive, by noting that all that depression and stuff, all that anxiety and stuff that makes you drink, it's gonna be fixed so from now on you wont have to get drunk all the time and can maybe even reclaim the ability to sip.
Not that I ever had that ability.
But still, I was in a nut house. It was hardly the time for logical thinking.
What happened was that the first two weeks were insufferable, and there was a lot of crying and screaming and misery.
The Duchess and my parents and my family would all arrive, and when they left I would be terrified.
And guess what else, this ain't exactly the most fun thing in the world, going back over all this shit, but sometimes it helps to get right of the unpleasant that you might have more room for another Bruce Campbell movie or something.
After that fortnight, I realised that I wasn't getting any better. The tablets, I was told, would take a few weeks to get into my system, so just hold in there, Duke, thing's will be fine.
What The Duke did next probably put the old fine-o-meter back quite a few hundred yards.
First, whilst I would be honest with doctors and such about how I was feeling at the time, I managed to conceal the truth somewhat about how much alcohol I was consuming. Yeah, I had a few drinks at the weekend, who the fuck didn't? I'm 17, man, what the hell? It's normal for a young man of my age and wit.
Secondly, I got someone to bring me in two litres of coke what was about 2% coke and 98% vodka. This proved to be one of my less prodigious ideas.
Article comments
1 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Man, that felt good right there. I'm glad i got that out is what. It'll be a year this week, by the way, just by way of epilogue.
And to the individual who requested this here conclusion of sorts, i hope you liked it.
Thanks.
2 - Mary K. Williams
God Bless you Duke : )