A while ago my husband and I were sitting in our kitchen talking about many things when the subject of firsts came up. Those initial, sometimes life-altering rites of passage. Take for example, a first kiss.
The very first one ever usually happens when we're too young to really get it. An unexpected peck on a playground that lasts as long as a single blink of an eye. Then there's the first kiss between two people that are attracted to one another. Sparks... Are there any? Do you want it to go any further? Is this THE one? So much can hang on the outcome of one liplock. What about the kiss between two who have been close friends for what seems like an entire lifetime? Is it more than just a friendship? Love exists - but what kind is it? Is it the deep connection of a lifeline or is it the deep intimacy of a soulmate that has been standing before you all along? One long kiss that has been avoided when all the while it was what was most yearned for.
Then there's the couple, the rare couple that knew the minute they met that this was it. Their first kiss never felt like a first anything. It just felt right. Friends and family probably thought they moved too quickly but it never really crossed either of their minds. They belong together, complete each other - missing puzzle pieces to one another's heart. They've waited their whole lives to find one another and that is already too much time wasted.
It occurred to me halfway through this conversation that instead of sitting with my husband of a zillion years, I was sitting with him for the very first time. I was given the brief opportunity to really see him again as I did in the very beginning. I noticed his great sense of humor and was amused by his sarcasm. I rediscovered all of the good things that I knew drew me to him in the first place. It's something how we begin to take the good things for granted after a bit of time, brushing them off as normal.
Article comments
1 - Victor Lana
I wonder if we put too much emphasis on "firsts" these days, Trinket. As you say, first kisses (very first ones when we're young) are usually not too much to remember. Sometimes first kisses are not so great when we are older too.
Maybe what we should be looking at is seconds, thirds, and so on. How many times has a waitress opened a bottle of wine and let you take the obligatory first sip? Usually, even with good bottles, it's hard to say (I'm not an expert as some may be). Usually as one gets the second or third sip, the full flavor of the wine emerges. At least for me.
Nice post about thinking deeper as to why we enjoy firsts. I know it's made me think of some of mine. The best first I've ever known was the first time I held my daughter (right after she was born). That was my best first ever!
2 - Trinket
I think it's not so much the "first" as it is the idea of it. so many have this overblown idea when in reality if you think it's a magical thing, you can relive that kind of magic. It's all in your own thinking.
I agree, seconds, thirds- experience in general is often better for me.
Except when it comes to my daughters. Their firsts are memorable for certain!