The last question I'll expound on is #10 on NY Times list. "Do we like and respect each other's friends?" I would add this question as well, "Do we like and respect each other AS friends?"
This probably sounds obvious but I see friendship deteriorate so rapidly in marriages. It's almost as if getting married makes the spouse lose status in some way. I've written more in-depth about this in Secrets of a Happy Marriage. Please, make that assigned reading for yourself. Divorce is no fun, nor is a marriage where the friendship has grown anorexic.
There are fewer and fewer examples of long-term, happy, thriving and growing marital relationships out there. When you are lucky enough to meet some examples in your own life, ask what makes them tick. Marriages do require attention if they are going to evolve along with your own growth.
Even if you are already married or are considering marriage and have considered these issues already, it is good to revisit them from time to time. I know I am not the same woman my husband originally married and my perspectives on these issues have certainly changed over the past 14 years as have his.
Don't get caught in the myth Paul Simon so astutely speaks to in "You're the One."
Nature gives up shapeless shapes
Clouds and waves and flame
But human expectation is that love remains the same
It doesn't. It won't. And therein lies its beauty.
Article comments
1 - RJ Elliott
"Questions To Ask Before You Get Married"
1 - Do you go down?
If not, RUN!!! (do not walk!!!) away. I mean, you'd just cheat anyway...
2 - You got the HIV?
If yes, this probably isn't going to be a long-term relationship.
3 - Ever have sex with a family member?
Unless you live in Kentucky (where such a thing is kind of a 200-year old fad), a "yes" answer should elicit a "no" answer for you.
4 - How many chromosomes do you have?
If she answers anything other than 46, flee as quickly as possible. She's either a 'gloid, or a member of a different species. Either way, she probably doesn't have the requisite qualities it takes to build a lasting relationship. (Unless you live in Kentucky. See #3 above.)
5 - Do you want to drug me, cut me open, and harvest my kidneys, so that you may sell them on the black market to Asian traders, while I doze in a bathtub filled with ice cubes?
If she says "yes," that could be a really bad sign, depending on how big her tits are. And if she goes down (see #1).
2 - Matthew T. Sussman
And ladies, he's single!
3 - RJ Elliott
ROTFL...
4 - Zedd
Laura
An important one is how his family resolves disputes.
If everyone yells and uses profanity and you were talked to and explained to, RUN!!
You'll think he's dumb, mean and uncouth and he will think you are a door mat just waiting to be pounced on.