Every day, countless marriages are neglected and eventually lapse into dissatisfaction. Yet, the marriages continue without either partner complaining or calling for action to improve the relationship.
The top lineup of excuses for why couples neglect their marriages? Too busy with the kids, demanding jobs, family life fatigue, lack of newness, boredom, and stress top the list. They simply do not make the time for their partner. If any of this sounds familiar to you, beware: Neglected marriages are a prime target for emotional cheating.
Are We Neglecting Our Marriage?
If you value your marriage, but do not devote ample time to nurturing it, you are neglecting it. Think about it. There are two marriages in every marriage - his and hers. This expression tells us a lot about how men and women see marriage. It suggests that couples often differ in how they place importance on their marital relationship, intimacy, and connection.
Some partners may value children, friends, extended family, or career over their spouses - or at least behave as if they do, spending far more time, energy, and effort on those relationships. Each may become separately entangled in the routines of daily living and the needs of others. Sadly, many married people move through their family life like ships in the night, seldom docking at the same port. Marital neglect is born.
Couples neglect their marriages when they fail to regularly touch base with each other in a warm and personal way. Emptiness is created within the couple’s relationship. Yet often only one partner experiences the emptiness feeling. The other may be indifferent, clueless, or insensitive to the problems in the relationship experienced by the other partner.
What Is Emptiness in Marriage?
This is the basic recipe for emptiness in marriage:
1. Meaningful connection to the other spouse is lost.
2. One or both partners experience too little closeness or intimacy (physically, sexually, emotionally, romantically).
3. Marriage includes no playfulness or exclusive couple date time.
4. Simple conversation about each other, goals, or a future together has stopped.
5. That magical ‘in love’ feeling seems to have disappeared for one or both.
6. Expressions of personal interest in each other have dwindled.
7. Inattention to each other has become the norm.
8. Common courtesy and affection have all but disappeared.
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