The year is 2005.
President George W. Bush opens a legal Pandora's Box by pushing through a Constitutional Amendment that allows for prayer at High School football games. Soon after — based on a case involving a Satan worshipper in Muleshoe, Texas — the Supreme Court rules that the practice of allowing only Fundamentalist Christian prayers is unconstitutional. Their opinion:
If schools accommodate one religion, they have to accommodate all.
EVENT: State Championship Game - Muleshoe Donkeys vs Gun Barrel City Fighting Snipers
TIME/PLACE: Friday Night, 7:30 P.M. - Ralph Reed Memorial Stadium
94 children stand in line behind a podium at the 50 yard line. One by one, they approach the microphone and whip out a 3 x 5 card.
Baptist kid: "Dear Heavenly Father, as we begin this game, please protect our warriors from injuries, help us to be good sports, and save the souls of those unfortunate enough to be of non-Christian minority religions. In Jesus name, Amen."
Catholic teen: "Oh Immaculate Virgin, Mary, Mother of God, protect our warriors from injuries, help us to be good sports, and save the souls of those intolerant of other's beliefs, especially those pesky, arrogant Southern Baptists. In the name of Mary, Mother of God and her Son, Jesus, and their good friend, Mel Gibson, Amen."
Similar benedictions continue for the next 6 hours.
2:00 A.M. - Various Protestant teens have completed their prayers, and after a short restroom break, the Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, Jain, Voodoo, Santeria, and Wiccan contingents from the back of the line are finally allowed access to the P.A. system.
3:30 A.M. - The Santeria kid has the most theatrical prayer presentation, which includes the beheading of a live chicken over an impromptu fire on the 45 yard line.
4:00 A.M. - The Hindu child invokes Shiva,Vishnu, Devi, and 4,372 various other deities. The smell of incense wafts toward the Muleshoe Marching Band, and at least half a dozen stadium security guards suspect the percussion section of smoking marijuana.
Article comments
1 - Tom
Interesting. I believe it is opening a sort of pandora's box, but I also believe the supposed freedom of religion does not mean freedom from religion.
We are blessed that we have moral religious foundatoin of government with a secular society which is free to express themselves religiously. All religions are pretty much tolerated here, and we are the better for it.
2 - bhw
Some religions are "tolerated" more than others, Tom.
Here's my prayer, Shark:
Recovering Catholic girl/tuba player, smoking pot with the percussionists, prays for deliverance from pergatory: "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, please don't make us sit through this shit again at graduation. Isn't playing 'Pomp and Circumstance' ad nauseum penance enough?"
3 - Shark
Tom, thanks for the comment. Now lighten up.
bhw, great idea!
This post is now soliciting any and all submissions of prayers -- no matter how loony or marginal the particular religion might be.
Feeling blue because I failed to include your favorite brand?
Was your particular cult left out?
Want to include a few words for some invisible aliens and their earthly playmate, L. Ron Hubbard?
Want to unload some 'knowledge' you memorized from that 70 volume set of writings by Madame Blavatsky?
Fire away!
(note: all invocations become property of Shark, until such time as Eric claims them in court)
4 - Eric Olsen
I enjoyed the couple who worship color in A Mighty Wind - which is blowing you and me, by the way - which seemed a pretty benign use of psychic energy and didn't seem to involve the demonization of nonbelievers or condemnation into a colorless pit of some kind. I was somewhat disappointed that laundry detergent didn't figure into their sacrament in any way.
5 - bhw
Thanks, but I actually thought it was your idea, Shark, when you said "insert yours". But now I think you meant to insert your god....
Oh well, maybe you'll get some good sumbissions anyway. 8-)