4. If you have children, just point blank ask them if they are doing the things above. Only 5% of parents ever talk to their kids about sex. Parents give their teens plenty of instructions about how to drive a car, but nothing about how to stay pure. Have the talk today. If you find out that one of your children is hooked on porn, have them e-mail me. (Randy_Kirk@Californiasprings.com) I will help. Make sure that you are checking up on their internet habits. Check the histories. Put on filters. Only allow the computers to be used in public parts of the house. Outlaw movie cable channels and MTV in your home.
5. If one of your single friends is having these problems, you need to confront them in love. They are going to have serious regrets. In fact, they are probably feeling dirty, and guilty, and miserable now.
6. Pray for our country. Pray that our leaders will address these issues. Pray that maybe Hollywood will become as incensed about all this distractive sexual behavior as they are about saving trees or outlawing guns.
7. Tell anyone who is in bondage to this material that there is forgiveness in Christ, and that they need to ask forgiveness and turn from this sin. Many, many parishioners, church leaders, and pastors are in bondage to internet porn. Make sure that your brother or sister in Christ is truly saved. Are they going to repent?
For more on the effects of porn on teens and adults, visit http://www.ideaplace.blogspot.com
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Japhet
There's nothing wrong with porn. Like anything, when people become obsessed with it, they have a problem.
2 - Steve S
For a minute there, I forgot I was reading a blog and thought I was reading a free pamphlet in the laundromat.
Erotica has been around since people put graphic pictures on cave walls and pottery. Not everybody in this country loses all rational thought over some pictures.
IF, as you believe, porn is so disasterous to people and their perspective of relationships and commitment, I think rather than ban the porn, we look into why people define their relationships on the physical.
Some people marry for money. They don't love and they can build families and then decide to walk out on things in a moments notice. What's next, banning money because some people misuse it within relationships?
3 - Eric Berlin
Where are these "stats" coming from? 1967-1970, 25-30 years, etc.
4 - adam
I thought teenage pregnancy was down. Listen, there is nothing wrong with porn. It's about our sex fantasies, and we've always had them. Now, instead of watching them in our heads, we can watch them on screen. Yippee! If you have a problem with porn, Randy, why is your name Randy? In England, randy is their word for horny. You need to change your name to Prissy.
5 - Mat
You note that men have always masturbated when wives were not putting out and that wives enjoyed romance novels in times of old. What is the difference in these activities and using the internet for the same purpose?
What's the problem with engaging in sexual activity that can be seen in porno? As long as both parties are consenting, I don't see the problem in it.
I agree that pornography can cause a great deal of problems. You just haven't convinced me that porn in and of itself causes these problems. Maybe a little clarification on a few points would help.
6 - Michael Hostetler
Your observations are accurate and timely. I think the comments, however are even more informative. If the above responses are representative of our culture, it's time to get ready for the end-time shake-down cruise.
7 - Aaman
So you want to go back to the burqa days and the middle ages, then - porn was very much around even then. Heck, the Turin Egyptian papyrus is good porn!
And end-time dreams are as useful in the real-world as a long-term short-selling investor.
8 - Dave Nalle
OMG, you can buy Josh McDowell books on Amazon. I thought they catered primarily to a literate audience - don't McDowell books come in picture-book format so that his core audience can understand them?
>>3. If you are doing internet porn, or any porn, you need help NOW! It is a devastating sin, and it is very progressive. E-mail me now! (Randy_Kirk@Californiasprings.com) Lets talk about it. If you are too embarrassed to use your real name, go get yourself a free e-mail and you can be anonymous<<
Does anyone else think this sounds like an invitation to engage in virtual online sex chat?
>>1. Western Civilization is not likely to be destroyed by invading hoards. It will probably not die out from some new disease. We probably will not run out of food, fuel, clean air, or water. It is much more likely that we will die from cancer, a cancer of our hearts, souls, and spirits. We need to do all of the following to prevent such an occurrence.<<
And the name of that cancer is judgemental self-righteousness.
----
It's clear from this post that the author himself had a problem with porn addiction and still has an addictive personality. Only those with addictive personality disorders can be "in bondage to internet porn". It takes a psychological disorder to be controlled by something which is entirely passive and does nothing to initiate control over you.
Clearly what's happened to this person is that they've swapped their porn addiction for a god addiction. This kind of tranfer of the focus of addiction is extremely common. It's what 12 step programs are based on. They don't cure your addiction, they just swap one addiction for another - usually trading psychological addiction to some substance for an addiction to the platitudes of religion.
The question is whether being a god addict is actually an improvement over being a porn addict. At least porn addicts don't judge the actions of others, try to proselytize, stygmatize people, or make posts like this one.
Dave
9 - Victor Plenty
Internet porn ain't entirely passive. Porn spam is an active attempt to initiate a monetary relationship between the porn purveyor and the spam perusor.
However, that's a minor quibble with Dave's comment. Everything else he says is pretty much spot-on.
And, when a psychologically balanced person receives porn spam, there is no temptation to give the spammers money. There may be a perfectly natural and understandable temptation to track down the spammers and initiate a very physical relationship with every computer they use for spamming (preferably a relationship involving a sledgehammer or a brick), but there is no temptation whatsoever to give them any money.
10 - Dave Nalle
Even the spam is essentially passive, because nothing about it forces you to open or read it. Once you do, the results are your responsibility.
Dave
11 - DrPat
But you have to click on that eMail offering you **Exciting Candid Pictures FREE**, don't you?
[snicker]
It looks like BlogCitics got targeted by a God group this week - Tons of posts in Books and Culture (and for all I know, Video and Music as well) that boil down to "isn't it great that I have accepted Jesus, don't you want to as well?"
12 - Victor Plenty
Essentially passive, yes. "Entirely" is not the same thing as "essentially." (Kindly note that I am smiling while I say this.)
Spam is just active enough to snare people who are vulnerable because they are already looking for something to get addicted to. That makes spam ethically questionable, but it does not make spam a magical mind control device.
13 - Randy Kirk
I appreciate all the comments, but the point seems to have been missed. Sure, I think porn is damaging to everyone who participates, both viewers and producers. But there is a new thing taking place that is cause for concern, maybe even alarm, if the trend extends.
"Many young single men are reporting that they no longer desire sex with �flesh-and-blood� women. They can get better sex by themselves with their computer than with a real woman, and they don�t have to take risks or be relational.
Many young single women are reporting that they are being coerced into doing �the things women do on internet porn� to satisfy their boyfriends, dates, ... oh, and husbands."
You don't have to be a Jesus Freak like me to contemplate the future of a world where this is the norm for even 20% of the population.
Those who are so cavalier in their comments are either too concerned about not getting their own needs met by porn, or have no idea how incideous this problem can be.
14 - Dave Nalle
Randy, the things you describe sound like GOOD things, not bad.
What's wrong with less sex? I thought the fundies were all for that. What's wrong with people trying new positions and techniques?
I see these as positives.
Dave
15 - Victor Plenty
Cavalier? I thought they closed that site down!
16 - Nicolette Rivers
A percentage of people will abuse alcohol, drugs, porn, fruit roll-ups...They are not the norm.
There are guys who'd rather stroke that meet a nice Christian girl? Okay? There have always been people who have trouble making that connection. If someone has trouble with real women, it's quite possible that they will find release in masturbation. They need the outlet and don't want to be rejected...The porn did not cause this, the porn just helps stimulate the glands.
Women -- or human beings in general -- being persuaded to do things their partner desires is not new. If the act is morally objectionable to that person, it is incumbent on the person to state that. There are a lot of demands in a relationship other than sexual demands and the same rules apply.
I have a good marriage. I write erotica. Hubby looks at nekkid lesbians. We have fantasies we'd do...and fantasies which are hot, but remain fantasies. We do not blame bad decisions on porn.
In your piece you both lament the fact that men want to wank rather than have intercourse, AND the teen pregnancy rate. Isn't that schizophrenic? Is porn making people not want sex with partners, or is it making them procreate like bunnies?
And for the record, do you see the poor excuses for parents running around? Some of these people should have tossed off and called it a day, instead of inflicting their disfunction on innocent children.
Tell me true, Randy...you just want people to email you so that you hear naughty stories, yes? (Isn't "randy" a synonym for horndog?)
17 - lar
whoa, i'm amazed at the responses. i read the entire blog and wasn't really surprised by any of the facts or numbers. what surprises me is the fact that if you say porn is bad, alot of people will jump on you. that alone is proof that times have changed. i'm not gonna sit here and say i've got no hormones and that i've never seen porn before, but i'm certainly not gonna sit here and say "porn is okay". whether you're religious or not, some things are just plain as day.. black and white. i know everybody nowadays says "everybody should be allowed to do whatever they want as long as it doesn't hurt somebody else". it takes courage to stand up and openly disagree with that statement. i'm sure as hell not gonna let my kids grow up believing that porn is cool and that they have a legal right to be as immoral as they want. it's bullsh*t and everybody knows it... some people just don't have the courage to ADMIT when they know somethings wrong... cuz then god forbid, they've got some self examining to do.
if you don't mind being "desensitized", it's probably because you already are.
18 - Randy Kirk
Nicolette,
Your comments are thoughtful and useful, but I still think lacking in vital information. It may be ok with you that your husband likes to view lesbians, but for the vast majority of wives, this is not the case. It would be as bad or worse than an affair.
I have posted a story of one such woman who wants to be ok with it, but in the end she isn't (http:www.ideaplace.blogspot.com).
I'm sure there are some women who don't feel threatened by their boyfriend or husband trying to muscle them into watching porn or copying what they see together. Strong women. Not all women.
Likewise, I'm sure there are guys who don't mind that there wives are thinking about some guy they are chatting with on the net while making love. Most men I know would not be pleased.
This part of our lives is usually pretty secret and difficult to talk about honestly. Thanks for you being one who will.
19 - Nicolette Rivers
The point, which you miss, is that everybody needs to choose -- with their partners -- what works for them.
My point is not that every couple should model their marriage after my own, but rather to say making a blanket statement about porn being bad is overly simplistic.
A man who pressures his wife/girlfriend into doing something that they are uncomfortable with is wrong. Whether the pressure is for sexual acts is not the point.
The porn is not bad -- it's the coersion, pressure, and manipulation which is bad.
You tell me that porn interferes with relationships, and I say, "Depends on the relationship."
20 - Duane
There's dirty pictures on the internet? Cool! You seem to know a lot about the internet. How do I get it?
Thanks,
Duane, Age 9
21 - Shark
Damn!
*Adam (comment# 4) beat me to it! I just gotta get a bit faster on the draw.
*(Shark's version) "Wow! The ultimate irony: a Christoid rant against sex and porn by a guy named Randy!"
sheesh.
PS: Porn is partly responsible for the early development of just about every visual art technology in history (scuplture, painting, photography, film...); ie, the internet as porn developer is nothing new, so Randy-Boy, you should get down on yer worn-out, eschatalogical-anticipating knees and thank God for the porn entrepreneurs. Otherwise, you'd be 'evangelizing' using spit on a cave wall.
PPS: I agree that The End Is Near, but I happen to think it'll be brought about by people like Randy electing a U.S. President.
~Doh!
22 - Randy Kirk
There are few things in this world that are "bad" in and of themselves. However, there are things which are temptations sold by other men with the hopes of luring others into addiction. Some of those addictions are relatively benign. Others not so. The reason I write on this subject is that I have seen the consequences up close and personal, and believe that this type of product has consequences that go far beyond what the average person sees. The tort laws dealing with strict liability result in small companies spending millions to recall products that merely cause an injury to one or two persons. The porn industry is causing long lasting injury to 10's of millions.
23 - The Demigodd
You're 9. You haven't even hit puberty yet.
24 - Shark
Capt. Kirk to Nasty Nicolette: "...It may be ok with you that your husband likes to view lesbians, but for the vast majority of wives, this is not the case. It would be as bad or worse than an affair."
It's True! I seem to remember that one of the Commandments says,
"Thou shalt have no erotic relationship with two dimensional lesbians."
25 - sydney
Randy,
nay,
Lord,
I pray to Our Lord that you never have children of your own. I pray that you never come to bare influence over any other human being. I pray someone saves you from your ignorance, and self-righteousness. Alas, lord, help Cap'n Kirk to save himself from himself.
Many types of porn are indeed not healthy and they do promote, in many cases, unhealthy social behaviors. Probably, most disturbing, is the subjugation and abuse of women, that most porn depicts.
However, you, my friend, should be the last person to ever pass judgment on someone else’s sex life. I have enjoyed having sex with many women over the years, and I have nothing but wonderful thoughts for each of the women I've every been with. I bet that burns you up doesn’t it? But really, I don’t care what burns you up, because what burns you up, makes me feel happy. :-)
Get lost you fuckin bigot!